The love of my life broke up with me a few months ago and we've been in an off and on relationship, i'm not sure about what he feels, or how strongly he feels it. my parents are seperated, not divorced yet, but they can't stand each other, we live under the same roof. this year has been pretty tough and my mom just told me she wants me out of the house. I didn't disrespect her or anything, sometimes i think she takes out the anger she has for my father on me, I came through the door and she started yelling cause i told her i would come earlier than i did, i was about 2 hours late cause of the bus. i take transportation. i did let her know where i would be. she might be mad more at that maybe its what caused her to say that. but i'm always there for her, but when i'm not next to her she gets mad, i have to make my own life, and i've never been an outrageous teenager. i am now 20 years old, i never gave her any trouble, i am currently in college, majoring in becoming a teacher.
2007-03-20 13:22:34 · 9 answers · asked by latina ♥ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
She is paying for college right now cause I was having some financial trouble. I have a job. I cry non stop, I need to get better. Please help, what should I do?????? =( I'm very scared I might hit depression or my heart will just stop cause I have heart problems.
2007-03-20 13:24:22 · update #1
Oh my, this is a heavy load of turmoil, isn't it ? So much going on and so much of it is out of your control. I can imagine that you are hurting in more ways than one.
You seem to understand that your mother may be using you as the focal point for her hurt and anger over her divorce. You could try talking to her, but she may not be ready to open up and hear what you have to say or look at her treatment of you. And there is nothing you can do about that if she is not. You have to let her walk her own path - you cannot take on her pain and you cannot carry it and you should not continue to let yourself be the focus of it. That is damaging to you.
Since it doesn't seem to matter whether you do all the "right things" (call when you are going to be late; let her know where you are; go to college; stay out of trouble) then you can see that the problems with your mother do NOT find their source in you. It's important that you remember that.
If she won't talk this out, then you have to make your own life now, even though this is not what you had planned. You may well have to leave your mother's house before you graduate from college. If you can go to your father's home, then that is what you will need to do. If that is not an option, then perhaps another relative. And if that is not an option, then you will have to look into financial aid at the college, student loans, work-study programs, extending your time in school (part-time study and working, too.) You mustn't give up your plans for becoming a teacher; but you may have to find another way to get there (if your mother, besides kicking you out will also cease paying your tuition and living expenses.) Go to a financial aid counselor at the school and let them know exactly what is going on and perhaps they can help you re-structure your plans and the timeline to achieve them.
I'm sorry about the love-of-your-life, but if he broke it off after an on-and-off relationship then the hard fact is that he is NOT the Love Of Your Life. You thought so; you loved him enough to have it be so, but it takes two and he didn't measure up. You have enough on your plate right now not to worry about this - let yourself heal; try to accept that he is gone and try to accept that his absence is the best thing that could happen to you because it will free you up to work out your own life.
Then, when you have your college and work plans all under control and your health is protected and then - when you least expect it, you really WILL find the love of your life and he will be so different from what you thought you needed and wanted because YOU will be so different from what you are now.
It's all good; it IS all hard right now, but in the long run, it will be all good.
Be strong.
Be patient.
Know the world needs good people like you and that there are people around you who are rooting for you.
2007-03-20 13:40:48 · answer #1 · answered by two 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That isn't a very good place to be, personally mine was worse, my father being a police officer (me being independent), I got alot of pain inflicted. You sound like a really level-headed person, if you are to be a good teacher, one thing is certain, control is mandatory !! Sit down some place you feel relaxed, park, bedroom, etc. and just do a Pro/Con list. Draw a line down the middle of a sheet of paper, put pro on one side, con on other. Only YOU know whats important.........The results (if you're honest with yourself) will be self explainable. Good Luck and God Bless !!
2007-03-20 20:37:00 · answer #2 · answered by fuzzypetshop 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like ur going through a hard to, but try to make the most of it. Deep inside she loves you except she has a hell of a way to show it. Plus if u want to get ur love back then talk to him and see if he feels the same way. Parents can be hectic sometimes, but u should always hold them dear to you.
2007-03-20 20:41:00 · answer #3 · answered by johnnytsao1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would start by talking to ur mom about this if you cannot then write a letter letting her know how much you care an that you love her . she may not relize what she is saying or may be reaching out for you in a weird way for help an support parents go bonkers to an need to know you care about them. finally there is colledge supported grants an funds available to colledge kids if you needed to move out an start on your own to finish colledge what ever u do finish colledge so you dont have to do factorys
2007-03-20 20:34:33 · answer #4 · answered by grizz11952001 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My goodness, Baby, you have it coming at you from all sides.
Is there anywhere else you can stay?? A friends?? Some other relative who is not involved with your parents drama??
Maybe seeing your college counselor could help you with this dilemma with some ideas.
Good luck to you.
2007-03-20 20:34:25 · answer #5 · answered by outtahere2day 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She strikes me as being manipulative and I would say move out but I would advise you to stay until you finish your college first if it is VERY important to you.
2007-03-20 20:28:43 · answer #6 · answered by kicking_back 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to talk to your mom and explain to her that she might have prblems but you have them too, and its not fair that she takes everything out on you, and ask her why she is kiskcing u out??
2007-03-20 20:26:38 · answer #7 · answered by Chelsea 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
y
2007-03-20 20:25:47 · answer #8 · answered by liveforgiving 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lemme be your daddy.
2007-03-20 20:25:46 · answer #9 · answered by Big Daddy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋