My wife in short cheated on me off and on during our marriage. I always forgave her and tried to make things right.
We had no relationship toward the end. She in one room, me in another. No real emotions from her but "hate". She wanted out, but didn't want to say it. So, I did it for her. I was tried of getting nothing from her. I may have been wrong, but I need someone who at least doesn't grimance when I try to hug her.
My question is after all the terrible things she has done to me, I still care about her. How do I stop!
2007-03-20 13:00:56 · 10 answers · asked by Kirby 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You will stop when you figure out you deserve better and it's a huge waste of energy that is preventing you from finding good mental health and a healthy partner.
2007-03-20 13:55:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That you still care for her means you're not a cad-- a calloused, vengeful, angry man. There is no need stop caring for her, emotions are never wrong, they just are what they are.
The issue is more: What do you do with these emotions, and the answer is- NOTHING! You have to now make a life for yourself, irrespective of what you feel about her. While she's renting free space in your heart, she doesn't have to in your daily life. Move forward, learn your lessons, don't repeat them, make better decisions and learn to love, laugh and live as much as humanly possible-- all without her!
2007-03-20 20:06:14 · answer #2 · answered by Wisdom??? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it comes on it's own. i have been in your situation, although not married, but we were living together and i got pregnant and we were planning a life together. it hurt so bad when he did it, all i wanted was him back, i didn't care what he did, i still loved him. now, it's 5 months later and i really don't care about him anymore. it doesn't hurt as much. it was a little at a time. i just woke up one morning and didn't think about him at all. and although i still think about him a lot, and sometimes it hurts, most of the time it doesn't. there is no emotion attached anymore. the only thing i can say is that it takes time, and you didn't make the wrong decision. she did; one day she will wake up and realize what she lost.
2007-03-20 20:06:03 · answer #3 · answered by pikachu 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ever heard the statement letting go? Sometimes it is hard to do. Even in your case. There are some meetings out there and I advise you to seek them out. There are various 12 step programs out there that can help. You are not the only one to experience this type of problem. Parents without partners etc. Check with your local church, a pastor can put you in touch with programs of this sort. Local Department of Family and Children Services. There are many avenues to research and you should find a groups you can talk with and get some help in understanding your self and maybe even help some others out too in the process. You have to look out for number one first! And my friend it don't seem you are at present!
2007-03-20 20:14:34 · answer #4 · answered by oskkid 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Emotions, such as this, are hard to control. You still care about what she does because you love her. You may not BE IN love with her anymore, but you really still care about her. I'm still friends with my ex-boyfriend (whom which I up with years ago) and I still care about EVERYTHING he does. Its tough to handle, but its the truth. Just don't be afraid to go out and find someone new. I promise, it will totally take your mind off her! Don't be afraid to get back out there. Its whats best for you.
Best of luck!
2007-03-20 20:08:54 · answer #5 · answered by oliana246 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Meet new people. Join meet.com, enroll in a something you enjoy. Are you divorced? If not, proceed in that direction. Set yourself free to be loved by someone who is deserving.
2007-03-20 20:12:51 · answer #6 · answered by bahjij6 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you are still on love with her,and as long as you love her you will have feelings no matter what.Have you tried meeting new ppl?.Maybe you should move on,and start seeing,or finding someone right.Good luck with that!
2007-03-20 20:08:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You still care because you still love her - and that's okay. When you truly love someone, you will always care about how they are doing. In any case, you did the right thing by letting her go. Hopefully someone who loves you as you deserve will come along - I hope you will be ready.
2007-03-20 20:04:38 · answer #8 · answered by ♪ ♥ ♪ ♥ 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
you don't....she was a part of your life and has a part of your heart...that's what really good and loving people do...care about people that they loved even when they don't love them anymore.....just accept it....
2007-03-20 20:24:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I feel for you...honesty don't know what to tell you, but I feel for you....
2007-03-20 20:15:49 · answer #10 · answered by Dee 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋