Best friend is getting married to my lover.?

Question

A friend of mine has been proposed for marriage by a girl in my office. Hes agreed and they plan to get married soon. This friend is a very sweet and unusually innocent chap. The girl to whom he is getting married does not know that he and I are best friends. The girl and I work on the same project. She and I have been sleeping with each other quite regularly now. Should I tell him.
Actually I am a bit of a player in that I have slept with all the good looking girls in my project. Its a large project. In the IT field you encounter lots of interesting girls. And if you are a successful guy with some personality many of them want to sleep with you. I would not have minded the situation but for the fact that hes my best friend and she still wants to continue our relationship. Of course I too want to continue as shes the best.
Incidentally I am married. All the girls find that as an added attraction. (If you know what I mean.)
What should I do regarding my best friend?

Hey chuck the hate. Welcome to the real world. Just tell me what I should do? I am not being a hypocrite. I admitted what I am just to give the full picture. I don't feel guilty about all this. My wife is not expecting me to be a celibate. She lives in another city and we meet once in a few weeks. What I feel guilty is about my best friend.

Its a touchy topic. I am sorry if I got on your nerves. My wife and I don't discuss my affairs. I do Love her a lot with a capital L.Thats another story. I am just a normal guy with needs.

Look if it was not me bedding this girl someone else would. In the end I guess she wants to marry a nice guy which he really is. We probably will stop our relationship once she gets married. And one more thing someone said am bragging. This is not a real name. Its a one time posting. Why would I brag. I just need advice to a real problem.

What should I do about my best friend.

Wow : I guess one should be happy to see so much of indignation at what was obviously obscene. I am glad. Well thanks for the replies. I thought that all people are basically bad. Your replies convince me that there is Hope.

Here is the truth. There is a twist. i was lying before. The girl I considered mine had been the player. My friend was her boss. Yes she did propose to me. I was going to marry her. Then I caught both red-handed so to speak. I wish she had been more honest than make a fool of me. I wish he had warned me. (He is the one married) For a while after I caught them they were so quiet probably worrying that I may leak their story at office. But now they are fully at it again knowing that I wont.

Being nice and innocent is the biggest crime because the world isn't. And nice guys get taken for a ride the hardest. A lot goes on in offices.

No real names have been used here. So there is no spite. One tries to forgive. But its not easy.

Thanks.

Answer 1

If you rat out his "fiance" doesn't that make you something of a hypocrite? Considering you're married, I think you're scum, sleeping around on your wife.

Answer 2

Boy that is a tough one. The best bet to keep on the up and up and not get caught your darn self is to bow out gracefully to casual sex. And try to keep the friendship cause you never can tell what may happened down the road. This could cause you many hours of unhappiness as it has caused you some stress already. Be care full and might want T move to another playground for a little while. Or bring it all out in the open even with hubby? Ever thought about that it could turn out real well for ya! Either way be care full!

Answer 3

Sure they can - but exes don't often make the kind of friends they were before so tread carefully and make sure you both have the same ideas. Friends can become casual more-than-friends or seriously involved, with disaster if you each have a different idea which this is. So talk it out, don't go for some liquid courage and fall into bed just to wake up with drama.

Answer 4

Yes, u should tell him before it is discovered by himself & u r caught as trust & heart breaker. I am bombed by reading your horrible lifestyle at working place. Do u at all have any principle worth the name ? If anybody says that he has no principle, the same logic can be applied by another person for commitiing anything wrong or crime against him too. What will be the reaction if such criminal is stronger ? U r so selfish & childish too. Girls r not like cups of tea or coffee. U r cheating your wife as well as all girls. Are all of them so great fools like u ? I doubt. When u r so great opportunist how can I believe that u will follow any advice from anyone. If it is known to local police u r sure to be punished severely. Sooner or later u will get the same 2 . There is no escape. One thing is sure . U r not at all God fearing. God never forgives anyone for great crimes. If u were in any Arab country u'd've been executed long ago. I come across so many friends who say that is there any necessity of any religion in 21 st century ? I always say , yes, it is always irrespective of time & age. There should be some minimum necessary code of conduct to be followed by people living in all societies. You call it religion or life code or rules & regulations or any other name but it exists everywhere in all departments & societies, no doubt. If there is no religion, person like u will dominate on the basis of : "Might is right" & not honesty , justice & good moral principles. And by chance anyone mighter than u appears suddenly in your group who does the same thing u r doing but by his stronger might does not allow u to do those immoral things further & threatens u for dire consequences, then u r sure to talk of some fundamental principles strictly applicable equqlly for all. That is the necessity of a religion in this century too. Suppose u r enclosed in a fully comfortable danger free spacious room with all required facilities at night with a young extremely beautiful girl who likes u too very much & none of the two believe in religion, can anything prevent both of u from having sex ? No. So, to protect people & their real dignity & honour , religion is a must. And by the way, if u 've a sister & she also by chance undergoes exactly similar sweet experince(according to u)by her free wishes with someone of your kind what will be your reaction ? Ask yourself honestly. So, please apologize to all with whom u slept & enjoyed & give up this extremely dirty habit once for all. If u get something freely that does not mean that u must exploit it against the principles of morality. In markets so many things r presenent & look very nice too in show cases but that does not mean that u should take & use them at will. Please be religious & practice the same too. Your case is a great warning signal for all girls of your profession. There should not be any excuse of the type of the job for practicing any illegal & immoral things. It is a great crime against human dignity under Indian as well as religious laws. I think u r not a normal human being. Do u know that there is differene between civilized human relationship & dog-***** relationship. In fact u should be called 'Mr Bull' in view of your such nature. I'm sorry to say this thing.

Answer 5

You seem proud to call yourself a playa, but you're only advertising how deceptive and immoral you are (at work of all places). You're in the process of ruining your career and your marriage, so why not destroy the relationship that your best friend might have with your mistress? Get some control and stop sleeping with the girl -- that's what you should do regarding your friend. And, either go back to your wife (after you test negative) or divorce her. I don't know what audience you're trying to appeal to, but you're not looking too healthy right now. Contain your damage, and leave your best friend and his fiance to themselves.

Answer 6

First of all, you should stop cheating on your wife. I find it hard to believe that so many beautiful, interesting women find you irresistable when they must know what a horrible spouse you are.

Secondly, if you had an iota of respect for anyone but yourself, you wouldn't be asking this question because the answer is obvious. You're having an affair with a woman who is marrying someone you call a FRIEND. You probably can't muster up the decency to tell this guy what a ho his fiance is, but you WOULD be doing him a favor.

Too bad your poor wife doesn't have the luxury of good friends either...

-EDIT- Okay, so you're "a normal guy with needs", eh? Well gee, that explains EVERYTHING. Pssh...sorry to burst your bubble sweetling, but normal guys can satisfy their "needs" with one woman if they really "love" her. It's only overgrown little boys who can't control themselves because of thinking with their d!cks instead of their heads.

Answer 7

I hope you have not attained the maturity in life: If you are an Indian 'you must have moral in your life" sorry to read all this immoral things happening in an IT world: So when you are saying "you have slept with many girls" : you are a male prostitute and there are many female prostitutes are working with you: at least change your mind and live with your wife:

Answer 8

U r equally bad as that gal is. U r also cheating ur wife. I'd say...mind ur business... everybody has to get married some day. Be it ur friend or somebody else.

Guys like u must be shot on ur head... how cheap u think of girls n dare u speak that in public...

Answer 9

If he is your best friend than I would really consider telling him the truth so what would happen to you and that girl now? Would she still continue to sleep with you, I would record a love making session and show him proof on what is really going on. What if he goes to personnel/human resources/supervisor at work and gets very upset? I would send it to him via e-mail jokes what if he showed it to the office you work at?

Answer 10

Tell and explain the best friend in detail (hiding your name), save him and restrain from marrying such a girl. However if he prefers and likes such experienced girl, leave him alone. Get her married to someone else, not your best friend.
Premarital, extramarital or unwed sexual activities are not barred or prohibited hence no offence punishable in any Indian law. Wife’s sexual intercourse with other/s is also no offence, hence no prosecution or punishment to her. Pre marital sexual intercourses with other/s cannot be a ground to seek divorce under Hindu/Special Marriage Act. Thus a female’s physical sexual relations with persons/s of her choice (with their consent) is not an offence or prohibited / barred in any Indian law and she is at liberty to enjoy SEX freely and fearlessly. A male’s physical sexual relations with any 16+ female (with her consent) is no offence or barred / prohibited in any Indian Law, unless she is in the wedlock of somebody else and is done knowing her wedlock or without her husband’s consent or connivance. Courts have to believe that children born during the wedlock (or within 280 days of court's divorce judgment/ decree) are her husband’s legitimate ones. He is bound to maintain or pay them expenses; till sons are 18+ and daughters are married. Prostitution (commercial sex trade, offering sex for monetary gain) alone is an offence punishable in Indian laws. Yet no Station House Officer, Officer In Charge or Inspector of Police can arrest, enter, search or seize.
All unwed sexual activities (pre/post/extra marital), perverted & homosexual acts are specifically forbidden in Islam ALONE in clearly written unambiguous words as great sin & heinous crime punishable with publicly lashing / death by pelting stones.