My wife and I have been Married for five years and have been together for five and a half. three weeks ago saturday she left me and is telling everyone I knkow that talks to her that she doesn't love me anymore yet she still cares whether I get into trouble. She has always hid her real problems behind even bigger ones and that usually tears us apart but we usually get through it.I'll admit I was a bit controlling but I always thought I was protecting her. What should I do can anyone help me?
2007-03-20 12:03:54 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
do you know what the word controlling really means? quite a few couples have therapy and unfortunately some have had to realize that they are both in a power and control struggle over each other. while you may think that's protective,to your partner it would be suffocating. after awhile a person wants to have their independence from the other. there's guy times and gal times and also together times. ask her if she would go to couples counseling. ask her to do it so you can be able to let go and have some understanding of what went wrong. she probably does care but may have fallen out of love. stuff happens. best of luck---relationships are work.
2007-03-20 12:31:31 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you need to do is check you own feelings right now. Do you really want a relationship here? Is the frustration and the pain really worth it? Sounds like to me you both need some space and you need to work on your controlling features. Are there any communication between you two? I would let her be right now and let her come to you. Life goes on and you need to be happy too! Search out what it takes to put the smile back on your face and if it is meant to be it will be. If you smother her right now it will just push her away so be care full. And Good luck to you both. And don't try to do anything that will make her jealous, that might backfire on you! Take a chill pill and go have some fun, go fishing or something in your spare time. Take on some extra work? Make yourself busy.
2007-03-20 12:17:32 · answer #2 · answered by oskkid 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing you can do if she wants out of the marriage, but come to terms with it. You did too much already, that's why she wants out. I'm sure if you're admitting to being a "bit controlling", you probably were extremely controlling. We never admit to the whole truth. If you want to do something, try working on your need to control someone else's life. When we are in control of our own destiny, we understand how important it is for everyone else to be in control of their own. The best thing you can do is figure out where you went wrong and try to fix yourself before trying to repair anyone else. When we are secure with ourselves, we have no fear of others.
2007-03-20 12:16:43 · answer #3 · answered by sleepingbeauty123 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's probably nothing you can do but move on. If she doesn't love you anymore that means she doesn't love you anymore. You find someone else I know it's hard because you've been with this one girl for so long and your scared to move on to another relationship and the same thing happen. Just be confident you'll find someone to love you back.
2007-03-20 12:30:51 · answer #4 · answered by latina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you don't have kids than it's just a little flesh wound that will heal with some time. In this case I would leave her. Kids on the other hand---well weigh out all your options first and then if it doesn't work you'll know you gave it your all for them. Personally if someone told me they didn't love me I would say nuts on you then and find someone that did.
2007-03-20 12:24:43 · answer #5 · answered by sweet 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont listen to that move on crap. Most of those people dont know anything about you. Consider couselling first. Move on is why 50% of marriages end in divorce. If she wont go, go by yourself first. It will help you if and when you do have to move on. Being controlling is a flaw that you may be able to correct through counselling
2007-03-20 12:16:35 · answer #6 · answered by PuckDog 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on. She likes to straddle both sides of the fence, as they say. She's talking with a two-edged tongue. Telling you one thing, and other people something else. Who needs a two-faced person in their life? I just couldn't handle hooking back up with someone that was bad mouthing me to everybody.
2007-03-20 12:12:12 · answer #7 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she's two faced, which obviously means you can't trust her. and you can't have a relationship with her if you can't trust her. obviously she wants it to be over she's just too wimpy to tell you to your face. or if she didn't she shouldn't be saying all that to other people. so get rid of her. it sounds like there was just too much stress on the relationship and the thread finally broke. it's no one's fault but it happened. although it is her fault that she has to be immature and go around talking smack on you, but you don't have to stoop to her level. just file for divorce. you will be happier in the end.
2007-03-20 12:23:03 · answer #8 · answered by pikachu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her go. If she is telling everyone you know that she no longer loves you, then it's pretty much over. Let the fat lady sing, pick up the pieces and move on.
2007-03-20 12:17:31 · answer #9 · answered by brneyedgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the ideal time to get married is once you're grown up. not once you nonetheless stay in fairytale land the place believing in superstitious nonsense like astrology looks like a sane thought.
2016-11-27 01:33:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋