Well lets get it straight my sister is a lot older than me and has kids my age so she is more like a mom to me...im 22 shes in her early 40s
On Saturday i saw her partner (aged 43 who she has been with for 15 years and has a child with) make a pass at my missus best mate..(my age) she denied his advance and laughed it off
There relationship has been unhappy for sometime now..but i dont think i should tell her as i dont wanna cause her pain...but then again hes playin her for a fool so its a real moral dilemna!
Advise?
2007-03-20 11:46:39 · 15 answers · asked by villa_mad_lad 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He was drunk...the female was sober
he didnt go back to my sis house till the morning!
2007-03-20 11:53:12 · update #1
if it was the other way around and my sister had seen my missus tryin to get off with one of my friends then i know my sister would tell me 100% and i would be thankful for her telling me!
2007-03-20 11:56:54 · update #2
I guess this would depend on whether or not you would want your sister to tell you if she saw your partner doing a similar thing. Take your sister's personality and figure out if she is the type of person who would appreciate the information coming from you, or if she would take her anger out on you. Chances are, if their relationship is "unhappy", then she already knows that he is no angel, and he has probably done worse before. You telling her this will probably not get her to take action or leave. So...personally, I probably wouldn't tell her, unless you are sure it is something she needs to hear...you can always get your wife or her friend to gently tell her what happened so that she won't unknowingly be a fool.
2007-03-20 11:54:48 · answer #1 · answered by TEXY1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it is dilemma...but so far you have done the right thing by not telling your Sister.
That will give their relationship a chance and not put more strain on it.
However, you need to do something about your brother-in-law (Sister's husband). You need to confront him with what you saw, not harshly, but trying to find out why he is behaving the way he is and that you think its unfair.
And give him a chance to explain himself. However, advise him he should put an end to doing such and get help to put the marriage back on track. After all he is the man and the head of the union so he must love his wife and use that love to fix things up.
And give a hint that you will strongly consider telling your sister the next time you find him repeating such an act. (This is just to make him know you are serious.)
You aim is to help fix things back in the marriage, whatever the problem might be and not to break them up.
By the way, even though they might be older than you...wisdom and maturity is not a function of age but of understanding, reasoning and gifting for ones creator. So do not be afraid to advice him.
2007-03-20 12:03:48 · answer #2 · answered by Dazanix 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell her. If he is cheating or trying to cheat then their relationship is already going downhill fast and she's already in pain. He's probably emotionally and physically unavailable to her already. Just be sensitive in how you deliver that information. See if you can get her away from him for a few days. She'll need some time to cool off in order to think clearly on her course of action.
2007-03-20 11:59:02 · answer #3 · answered by StrawberryShortcake 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what do you think deep down does your sister really love this loser, who stayed out all night that is bad ,an made a pass at this other women ,so after making a pass he must of picked some else up to not go home ,really if you were my brother i would like the truth then more lies ,she must put up with this of him , so if i was you i tell her what you now it might upset her for a bit but she does need to now better of her brother then some one else .
2007-03-20 12:21:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Generally it is best to stay out of things like that because it often comes back on you and you get no thanks as it is usually deemed to be none of your business.
However in this case I think it is your business.She is your sister and he is a fool if he thinks you would'nt tell her.
Just tell her it exactly as it was and let her decide if she wants to tackle him to see what excuses he has.
2007-03-20 12:10:41 · answer #5 · answered by Roman H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not a huge relationship problem he was drunk and probably didn't mean it, just took flirting a bit too far.
But he does need to explain and apologise so make him tell her what happened.
2007-03-20 11:57:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say tell her, but try not to make it a big drama, just a matter of fact comment. Perhaps he does this a lot. Will her friend not tell her?
I go for the honesty though.
2007-03-20 11:51:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it could easily have been because he was drunk, some people act out of character with drink, if you feel you need to say something, you could say her partner was drunk and embarrassing himself in front of females, she may aleady know what he's like with a drink inside him and laugh it off. if said in a way thats not too serious, it won't upset her, as it could be nothing
2007-03-20 22:45:40 · answer #8 · answered by chakra girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell her. As siblings you have to look out for each other. Tell her the complete story and then let her decide how she wants to handle it.
Good luck!
2007-03-20 12:01:06 · answer #9 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can see your dilemma. My suggestion would be to ask a hypothetical question, such as "If (her partner) were seen making a pass at someone, would you want to know?" If she says yes, then tell her.
Personally, if it were me, I would want to know, and I'd want to be told by someone I loved and trusted.
2007-03-20 13:00:18 · answer #10 · answered by postcardtrader 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋