my uncle is in a bad relationship. he is a union electrician so he makes pretty good money. he is with a str8 gold digger. she has cheated on him and her two kids(not his) are very disrespectful to him. he pays all her bills and does any and everything for her and her kids. he doesn't have kids of his own. they are supposed to get married next month. the whole family knows its a bad idea but no one wants to say anything. he is very misereable and really doesn't want to be with her, but we just found out she has been putting afrodisiacs in his food and maybe thats why he cant leave. HELP SHOULD I LET HIM KNOW THIS IS A BAD RELATIONSHIP AND GET OUT QUICK? OR SHOULD I LET HIM MAKE HIS OWN CHOICES??????????????
2007-03-20 11:26:52 · 17 answers · asked by cluelessly_n_love 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There is nothing wrong with your going to him and telling him you want to talk about some concerns you have. Point out what you see as problems and ask him how he feels. Tell him you have noticed that he does not seem happy and that anything he wants to change about his relationship won't change because of marriage. Ask him to think about things and give more thought before marrying this person. Ask him to make a decision tree list...one side why he should get married, one side why he should not get married and see which side has the most answers. That's a way to do it in black and white. You might want to recruit another family member to help you talk to him. Do not say bad or unkind things about the woman. Make any criticisms sweet for him to swallow.
2007-03-20 11:53:57 · answer #1 · answered by curious74432 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
simply let your uncle know you love and care about him no matter what choices he makes for himself....
and as for doing things for his lady and her children... well that is what families do isnt it??? If has acepted the lady has childen already and is willing to accept them and care for their needs I dont really see that as a problem but rather a shining example of your uncles good nature..
kids are often disrespectful to step parents this comes from them having been through a brak up of their own parents and not really trusting that the step parent will stick around... this may chane over time..
If your uncle is an electrician the lady isnt exactly a gold digger... if she was she wouldnt be hanging with a tradey... she'd go for corporate gold...
your uncle may know about the aphrodisacs and may appreciate them.... as much as you probably dont want to know it your uncle is a human being with all the same feelings and thoughts and desires of other human beings... in other words he is a sexual being nothing unusual there...
I think your family and you are being a little prejudicial towards the lady and little too quick to judge the situation..
2007-03-20 11:37:10 · answer #2 · answered by wollemi_pine_writer 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh my goodness sweetie...first there are no such things as spells and afrodisiacs, if that man isn't clinically insane than he knows and apparently loves the way things are or he WOULD NOT be there. Just because a situation seems bleak or unliveable to you doesn't mean its the same for others, have you ever heard of to each's own? This is the path he is choosing to walk and it's not your place or anyone elses to jump on that road and stop him.
2007-03-20 11:36:55 · answer #3 · answered by WOW U all make me feel normal! 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you think for one second that he would listen, then maybe you should get together with a number of your other family members and tell him your thoughts. Chances are he'd listen to a group of you rather than you alone.
But be warned that even if EVERY single member of your family told him how f'ed up his life is and will be, he may still marry this wretch. Just like any other addiction or destructive behavior, the person suffering can only get help when THEY are ready to.
2007-03-20 11:32:57 · answer #4 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can tell him how you feel, but you will probably not like the reaction you get. If he's a grown man he is old enough to make his own decisions - good or bad. This sick relationship is providing him with SOMETHING or he would not be in it. Be supportive of HIM and let him figure it out by himself.
2007-03-20 11:39:43 · answer #5 · answered by Lorrie C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is drugging him you need to notify the Authorities. Now normally i would not get into my elders business but if i knew these things I would be all in it. With proof. Then again I also know that even after I made the attempt, if he chooses to continue on then its his own choice and I have to leave it at that.
2007-03-20 11:31:55 · answer #6 · answered by D B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
YES, if he'll listen. I tried to tell my brother not to get married & he didn't listen, he adopted her son and they had another child together & 8 miserable years later they are divorced & now he has child support on two kids (thank god he didn't adopt her daughter also!) Try to save him - he'll thank you the end! Good Luck!
2007-03-20 11:35:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
afrodisiacs? you've got to be kidding me. If in fact this is a real problem (and I doubt it is), then stay out of it. He's a big boy and it's none of your business.
2007-03-20 11:32:19 · answer #8 · answered by duvalicious 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Talk to him, rationally, once. Tell him what the family thinks, and what you think, and that if he's unsure, they can postpone the wedding. Start inviting him to do family things with you. Maybe he's lonely and doesn't have company other than her.
2007-03-20 11:31:15 · answer #9 · answered by halie_blue 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would cast a spell on him that the afrodisiacs no longer works, you can hire someone to do it.
2007-03-20 11:34:57 · answer #10 · answered by Emily L 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋