I didn't want kids ever and then when I found out I was pregnant it was the most beautiful feeling I ever had. I only knew for 7 days and I miscarried. I so angry and pissed why did this happen to me. and now I want to try again but my fiance wants to wait until after our wedding which I agree but our wedding isn't until May 2009. I just loved the feeling I had during my short lived pregnancy I know I'm young (21) but I feel ready we own a home and there is nothing to lose. I am back on anti- depressants but I'm still so sad. What can I do?
2007-03-20 09:44:05 · 9 answers · asked by Nykole 2004 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I felt exactly the same when i miscarried. It wasn't a planned pregnancy, id been travelling around South America, up and down mountains, high and low altitudes, lots of medication etc. I miscarried 4 days after i returned, didn't even know i was pregnant when i was away, i found out 2 days before i miscarried. In those 2 days I went from being terrified to loving the idea, feeling at peace with myself and my baby. Then it happened. The physical pain was over in a few days, but the mental pain took months to heal. I felt suicidal in some of that time, wanting to join my "dead baby", not really understanding my feelings, crying all the time etc. I do understand how you feel, but trust me,it DOES get easier. I felt like no-one really understood and they expected me to be "over" in after a weeks or so. the mental pain takes longer but it will heal, i promise. Now i look on the whole event as a very sad episode in my life, but the fetus had something wrong, and although im not religious, it was meant to be. im now 31 weeks pregnant with a little girl and focusing on that. i won't forget my other baby, but must focus on this one. It will heal sweetheart, trust me. U are still grieving and that is improtant part of the healing process, u must grieve!
Good luck to you I wish u all the best for your future WITH many beautiful children
2007-03-20 09:58:15 · answer #1 · answered by Serry's mum 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I am so sorry that you had a miscarriage-I have never experienced one but I know many who have and it is a horrible loss- you become bonded to your child from the moment you hear that you are pregnant. The loss is real. Waiting until you are married is a very good idea- however why do you have to wait until 2009? You say you own a home already. I will pray that maybe that can happen. I do not know why this had to happen, but I do know that just a little over a month is not long for the grieving process. Does your BF know exactly how you feel. Is he grieving with you? I counsel women in pregnancies and some who have had miscarriages and it is normal to grieve so please do not put anymore burden on yourself then you already have. GOd bless you!!
2007-03-20 12:38:38 · answer #2 · answered by AdoreHim 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
We have similar stories. I never wanted children. I decided to go ahead and try for one because my husband really wanted them and had my daughter. I loved being pregnant and love her so much. I then had two accidental pregnancies that ended in miscarriages. I had the same feelings - anger and an incredibly strong determination to try again. We're still trying, but no luck so far. Give yourself time to grieve and for your body to recover and try again. Since the two of you own your own home, and you're obviously committed, why not move up that marriage date and try again when you're ready?
2007-03-20 10:15:25 · answer #3 · answered by Karen S 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Big hugs...
The depression is very normal. Your body is reacting much like it would if you had carried the baby to term and delivered. You are probably experiencing a level of postpartum depression. Try and take care of yourself and do something nice for just you.
I did want to ad that if you are wanting to try to concieve again, please talk to your doctor about the anti-depressants. You probably already know, but they can cause birth defects and serious complications. It's not safe to quit taking them cold turkey either, so careful planning before you TTC is in order.
I'm sorry for your loss.
2007-03-20 09:59:21 · answer #4 · answered by kelsmile 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I went through this a while back. The pain will ease up. You just have to remember that you are still alive and will have the chance to have more children. There is no rush. It is probably best to move on from this one before trying again. Give yourself time to grieve. You will feel better soon.
2007-03-20 09:52:56 · answer #5 · answered by Christabelle 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Why don't you talk to your fiance about that empty feeling that you have. How long have you been engaged? Maybe you can compromise-you wait until the wedding to try again, but you move the wedding up.
2007-03-20 09:54:16 · answer #6 · answered by Lisa 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Loosing a baby is a difficult experience, I misscarried my first baby at almost 16 weeks and it was very painful, physically & emotionally. Give yourself time to heal your body and your heart. You need to get healthy and replenish your body so it will be ready to hold a new baby but it takes time to get better, if you get pregnant right away you may have the same problem because your body is not ready.
Good luck
2007-03-20 10:02:40 · answer #7 · answered by Marcela 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
i think you should wait till your married, nothing worst than having a baby when a hubby dont want to...you should try to move the wedding day closer
2007-03-20 09:57:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Aww, I'm really sorry. Yeah its best to wait, but if you're finanacially stable and know yau'll are meant to be then go for it! Goodluck
2007-03-20 09:53:29 · answer #9 · answered by Lorelei's Mommy ( & prego) 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋