What is the first thing you learned the most lesson in your first marriage?

Question

Sometimes, spouses forget to do something important, she or he should not read one's letter.

Answer 1

loyalty
trust
honesty

Answer 2

I so agree with what "Drew Blood" said, but everyone doesn't go into marriage for better or worse, ad least in my situation. It's until someone better comes around and does it better.
What I learned was that when you loose trust, you loose everything that a marriage is built on. I also learned that you can love someone deeply, but love isn't enough without trust. There are better ways of fixing a variety of problems,other then cheating on a spouse. I learned that holding a marriage and family together takes work on the part of both people. No matter how much one person wants to make the marriage work, the marriage will wither and die unless the other person also works to keep it alive.

I wouldn't change the fact that I married her, she gave me two beautiful children that I wouldn't have had without her.

Answer 3

That, even though we'd dated for 2 years before we married, I didn't know enough of the right things about him. That he didn't really change so much as I changed my expectations of him changed. That I could put up with a LOT of c***, but even I had a breaking point. We lasted 23 years before the divorce was final. We are "friendly" in social situations, but he is still a jerk as far as "being a man" is concerned. I've moved on and have been dating my BF for almost 5 years. He was married 18 years. We don't live together and have no plans to do so for at least another 10 years. Probably won't get married at all. We talk for HOURS on end about every subject under the sun.

Answer 4

The most important lesson - don't get married until you both are over age thirty and then make sure you know them well inside before any sexual activity takes place.

Answer 5

Not to take a girl for granted. If you wind up assuming ... wind up in a little rut ... you have to identify this and take steps to get out of it or the girl doesn't feel valued or validated.

Girls are finicky creatures (and highly variable - so some girls are not finicky at all - just the ones I seem to interact with).

They like some variety in their routine and get bored with the same thing over and over again. They are interested in the intricacy and richness of different textures, nature, chaotic systems ... (but they hate the math of it cos it makes it all the same) so give them variety, richness, intricacy, texture, validation ...

And never take them for granted

Answer 6

Never give yourself up for a man and never trust 100%.

Make compromises, but never shortchange yourself in order to stay in the marriage.

Answer 7

First thing I learned was not to have high expectations of my husband, for then there would be a letdown, just let things be, how they're going to be, let go and let God! Amen!

Answer 8

I don't have an ex wife, and my wife doesn't have an ex husband. So to all of you who have first, second, or third spouses then CLEARLY you forgot to read the part where it says "for better or for worse, til death do you part". There would be a lot less divorces if people were able to see farther into their future than the honeymoon.

Answer 9

my first marriage i was talked in to marrying we never dated i just barely knew him that taught me a lesson to not let no one pick my mate we had two kids that was only thing kept me with him for ten years i loved my kids but not him

Answer 10

I am not married any more, but I did learn one thing. Never to trust a man with everything so if or when he/or you leave, you still have something.

Answer 11

The only one you can trust is yourself. Never relay on anyone but yourself. Don't give your heart away it will be broken