I have an American girlfriend who recently married a Mexican man. He is getting legalized as a result of this. They just recently had a baby together and are going to buy a home, but my girlfriend feels like they are better friends than lovers. When trying to express this to her "husband", he begged her to stay. She loves him, she's not IN love with him. She thinks he is a wonderful man, but she is constantly finding herself attracted to others. She's never slept with anyone else, but she is flirting with the issue (as well as other men) on a daily basis and apparenlty doesn't feel bad for it. Opinions, anyone?
2007-03-20 09:37:43 · 12 answers · asked by dearabbie1985 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There has to be a "physical" component to love, although it certainly cannot be the only factor. Kindness, trust, mutual respect, friendship are important as well. It is not her fault she is not physically attracted to him..which is critical in a happy marriage IMO. She needs to be honest with him and tell him I am not physically attracted to you and I never will be. Honesty is best. They can perhaps work out something where they can stay married for the legalization aspect. However she may meet a man she wishes to marry for all the right reasons, and perhaps it may then become a difficulty...but she must be true to her heart. Her child will later learn of this, and hopefully will admire her courage.
2007-03-20 09:45:01 · answer #1 · answered by Suzanne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Learning to Love Someone" I think is possible. What I would find difficult would be to "learn" to be turned on by someone. IMHO, there is mental love, and physical attraction. In a Great marriage, you have both. If you just have one of the two, (either one) it probably won't last. There are all types of marriages out there. She should talk to him and see how far he'd go to keep her, although would never be fair to him.
2007-03-20 10:51:11 · answer #2 · answered by Candice B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to leave him, sounds like she is not happy. No you cannot learn to love someone while miserable..he is begging her to stay because he needs the citizenship..anytime a woman starts noticing other men it's a red flag for..you are out of love with your man..i say leave don't stay miseravle and unhappy just coz!!
2007-03-20 09:42:42 · answer #3 · answered by lovely 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you can learn to love someone but it's different than being in love with someone. If she's unhappy then she needs to move on which is bad for the hubby since he won't be legal unless she agrees to be his wife while leaving him to be with another man.
2007-03-20 09:48:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is possble to learn to love someone. However, if your friend is out flirting and carrying on with other men, she isn't trying with her marriage.
2007-03-20 09:44:02 · answer #5 · answered by mark my words 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It certainly does not appear that she is in love with him
as a husband, at least in the classical definition...
2007-03-20 09:56:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
thing is we all dont get what we want..
as per ur details..i can make out she is not in "love" with him...but he truly loves her!!
sometimes..u have to learn to live with the person u dont love..instead of crying for a person u love..
2007-03-20 13:50:59 · answer #7 · answered by ♥panicqueen♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationship is always full of probs.The best she should do is look into her heart to see who she really love.let her take the decision if she think it will help her.
2007-03-20 09:45:47 · answer #8 · answered by ebiyedinak 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she hasn't fallen in love with him by now, this marriage is doomed.
2007-03-20 09:54:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
all u have to do is trust her but keep ur eye on her
2007-03-20 09:42:38 · answer #10 · answered by renee a 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋