me and my husband got into a "disagreement" and I threw a remote control at him and hit him on the foot with it. he threw it back at me and it hit me in the ear. my ear started bleeding and he felt so bad, as well he should, my question is should I be mad at him even though I threw the remote first?? I am not mad anymore, but my friends are now calling him a wife beater!!
2007-03-20 09:20:59 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, you should have never threw it at him to begin with, but most of all he should have been man enough to not picked it back up and throw it at his wife. Now your friends need to mind there own business and stay out of your marriage. Anger problems can get us into more trouble and this is one of those times. Tell him your sorry and that you want to make sure this never happens again. He should feel bad because as a man he is the stronger one of you two. Think about what if you had to seek treatment your lives would not be the same again as the law would have been brought into this.
2007-03-20 09:27:52 · answer #1 · answered by Krinta 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You were wrong to throw the remote in the first place and no...........he shouldn't have thrown it back at you either.
You owe each other an apology and should not be mad at each other. Control your temper and think before you react over a disagreement.
Who told your friends about this anyway? What goes on in your household should be kept there and not spread around.
Your friends should not be condemning him as I don't feel this makes him a wife beater unless things like this have happened before.
Did you know that there are husband beaters too?
Tell your friends to lay off and you and your husband get on with your lives.In a peaceful way!!
2007-03-20 09:34:07 · answer #2 · answered by sonnyboy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both are at fault. You should not have thrown the remote at him, and he should not have thrown it at you. You both chose the method of expressing your argument and both have to deal with any consequences that may have happened.
Throwing the remote control sounds a little childish, don't you think? Isn't it a bit violent? I bet you both feel a little awkward about what happened.
I think you and your husband should sit down and have a talk about what happened, and agree that you will never have an argument or discussion resulting in violence and abuse. This may sound small right now but it could be part of an existing pattern or set a pattern for the rest of your marriage. This example will be passed onto your kids and who knows where that will go.
Forget what your friends say about this. However, keep safe friends who you can talk to about your problems. Always make sure you have someone safe to talk to in case there is ever abuse. From what you described, this sounds like two adults trying to resolve a problem in a childish and harmful way. Quit it. Also, be careful of creating "allies" with friends and family who also need to know what it is that you did. Are any of them calling you abusive? Why not? Why the double-standard?
Both you and your husband will have more problems to work through and I imagine some of those problems will be bigger than the one you both were arguing about. So, my advice to both of you is to learn how to communicate, "Listen", and resolve problems as equals. Otherwise, the next time something is thrown it might not be a remote.
2007-03-20 09:23:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'd say you both have tempers that you need to keep in check. Were you aiming for his foot & him, your head? Everyone has disagreements. Neither one of you should throw things and try to injure each other. Your friends need to be reminded that you threw it first, so does that make you a husband beater? One is not worse than the other just because of your gender. I'm glad you're not mad at him any longer. I'm sure neither of you meant to hurt one another. Sometimes you have to just agree to disagree and live with it. I wish you much happiness in your marriage.
2007-03-20 09:31:21 · answer #4 · answered by Country Girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your friends are being dramatic. You threw the remote too, does that make you a husband beater? Take it as a grain of salt, you both acted silly in an arguement, move on.
2007-03-20 09:25:27 · answer #5 · answered by KarmaBaby 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He reacted to you. Ask yourself: Would he have ever thrown it had you thrown it first?
Also - ask yourself... Being mad at him - what problem is that going to solve? How is that going to make for a happy marriage?
You can be mad at him - but you should be mad at yourself first and try to figure out how to disengage from fighting before you blow your top. Take a time out. Or even try to listen to his side of the story so you have all the information. You don't have to agree with him - but listening to him will help you find more effective ways of getting your point across in his language.
A good marriage counselor should be able to help the two of you to communicate more effectively.
You might even want to go to individual counseling for a while so you can figure out your boiling points and what is it that makes you so mad about your spouse. Does he remind you of someone from your past? Are you really mad at him, or is he simply a trigger?
You never said what it was you were fighting about - that would have been a more effective question to ask. Then we would be able to help you with a REAL solution.
2007-03-20 09:44:34 · answer #6 · answered by beach 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You threw it first at him. If you wouldn't have thrown it he wouldn't have ever thrown it in the first place. Your friends are not a help in your marriage either if they are calling him a wife beater. Don't let your husband hear about that or you will have to get new friends.
Good luck!
2007-03-20 09:25:38 · answer #7 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You both have bad judgement!! He is no more an abuser than you are!!!
I just have to know - How did YOU get the remote in the first place? I didn't think there was a man in the world that would allow his wife hold the remote!!??? You have a good man - hold on to him!
2007-03-20 09:31:21 · answer #8 · answered by Kailey 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well you did throw it first so no you shouldn't be mad. He just had a better aim then you did LOL
Sure hope your friends are just messing around calling him a wife beater. If anything that will make him mad.
2007-03-20 09:34:26 · answer #9 · answered by Valentina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People that live in glass houses shouldn't throw rocks. In your case, remotes. While it was immature and poor judgement to throw it back at you, the fact is you probably deserved it.
What should you do about this? Grow the hell up for one. If you both can't get along like adults then get a divorce.
2007-03-20 09:29:16 · answer #10 · answered by Pipe Grampa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋