My son is almost four and his father has been in and out since he was born. Last year we set up a verbal arrangement for my son to go to his father's house (lives with his mom) on tues and thurs from 4-8pm. His father kept flaking so I stopped the visits....it's been five weeks and no call from the dad whatsoever. His mother called me and asked me if I could reconsider...I haven't answered her yet. Seems to me my son's father is going through his mother and I don't like it.
Please tell me your opinons or suggestions on what to do. Thank you.
2007-03-20 09:17:29 · 20 answers · asked by emaaaazing! 4 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
I have sole pyhsical and legal custody.
2007-03-20 09:17:57 · update #1
Yes..but i've been sucked in before and had to pick up the pieces everytime. My son goes through a lot when his father decides to come around and then changes his mind. My son, at those times, gets clingy and emotional and a little agressive at school. It's hard for me and his teachers.
2007-03-20 09:29:11 · update #2
I don't like the sounds of it either and I don't even know you!!
DON'T do it!
If he (the dad) wants to see his son that bad, he can call you and set something up. If the grandma wants to see him, then she needs to meet your needs. Looking at the dads past I don't see how a court would allow him to have custody due to his history. So if he was really serious he could be using his mom as the bait to get you away from the child.
I would have it as to where she can meet you both for lunch or something on a Saturday, but don't just give in cause she wants to see him. You never know she could be one of those ppl who will "kidnap" someones child just so her family can be with them. It's happened before, and I know with my babies, I would NEVER take the risk cause you never know just what some ppl would do...... I know it sounds crazy, but it happens every day, and it could happen to you. This just seems to out of the blue to be a normal visitation.
Don't ever thing you're untouchable!
Good luck!
2007-03-20 09:30:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a right to know what's going on over there. A call from the grandmother is nice, but it's not enough. Could you invite her over for coffee to discuss it. You are going to need direct contact from your son's father, before you allow your son to go see him, and even then I would insist (possibly get it in writing or in court) that visitation is conditional on the grandmother being present. You can relax the rules in a few years when your son is older. Meanwhile, your son's father i not some kind of long-suffering father missing his son. He hasn't bothered to contact you in 5 weeks. He probably has a drug or alcohol problem or both and is irresponsible. You have no evidence to the contrary.
2007-03-20 09:34:49 · answer #2 · answered by Zelda Hunter 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I defenetly think that your son should interact with his father; but you have to let the father know that he needs to stop manipulating his mother to get through to you. Demand him to speak to you directly. It is very childish for a grown man to act in such manner, so in order for him to respect you have to be firm. It is very important that you take your role as a mother and dicipline your son, it can get hard for you being that you and the father are not togather, I'm almost sure that his father will not dicipline your son the way you would, he might be more submissive and allow your son to do what ever he wants when he is not in your presence, so you have to teach the father how to respect you too.
Jay-
2007-03-20 09:36:02 · answer #3 · answered by jessiegirl_pr 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would always say OK to a supervised visitation. You need to keep that door open but on your terms if he is being flaky. Go ahead and reconsider as if you say flat out no then he can make a stink in court, so if you say OK but here are the terms. Supervised by you...That's it. I see too many meaning well Mom's that call me to get their child and since the courts feel Dummy Dad's have to interfere they let them.
Tell his Mom that he needs to set it up not her, Now if it is Grandma who wants the visitation you say ma'am you can come over whenever you want but leave sonny at home.
2007-03-20 09:24:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it's the grandmother who wants to see her grandson and not the father at all. Anyway, I'd have the visitation schedule set up in the court system - not verbally with him. Your are bound to lose in the end that way. He sounds like he wants to see his sone only when it's convenient for him. I wouldn't like the idea of him going through his mother either. Get it done the right way so he can't jerk you around.
2007-03-20 09:21:38 · answer #5 · answered by lilith663 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did your divorce decree enable particular visitation?? If confident, then you are able to take her back to courtroom to stress visitation. She is in contempt of courtroom for no longer permitting you to be sure the youngsters. in case you probably did no longer pay help she ought to do an identical to you. the place does her husband think of those 2 young infants got here from? try tube? he's not that stupid. She has to realize that no longer letting you spot the youngsters isn't healthful for them quite at this teenage time. they want their dad. sturdy success. i'm hoping you get to be sure them quickly. do no longer provide up. I merely have been given back with my daughter after ten years of ex spouse administration. I continually concept it would be a foul journey that would get us jointly back, inspite of the undeniable fact that it befell to be a husband and a grand-daughter. She is the happiest mom interior the international and of direction i'm the happiest grandpa.
2016-12-18 18:58:22 · answer #6 · answered by forgach 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does the father wish to see his child? If yes, and he is of no threat to the child, then he should be allowed visitation rights. Furthermore, if he is paying child support, I do believe that you cannot legally deny him that right. Of course, there is the matter of him being an ex-con, so I'm not sure how that plays into the visitation rights scenario.
2007-03-20 09:30:30 · answer #7 · answered by Wee Bit Naughty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some people just never grow up but that doesnt mean they should be punished for it maybe the grandma wants to spend some time with your son or her grandchild so give your son the opportunity to choose if he dont want to go then thats a different story keep them together so he wont have issues later on in life or blame you that you never gave his dad an opportunity to be with him consider all your options and good luck
2007-03-20 09:23:28 · answer #8 · answered by lizziemoffles 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A child needs his father in his life. If you keep the father out of his son's life (regardless of his faults), it is going to be problematic. Some time is better than none.
2007-03-20 10:59:44 · answer #9 · answered by lil_snipe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he wants to go Thur his mom regarding this issue. Then I say set it up with his mom as long as everything stays running smoothly.
Also consider she may be asking because she wants to see her grandchild. And not necessarily for her son.
2007-03-20 09:27:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋