Why does most society exhibit hatred towards polygamy?

Question

This question is best answered after one get's over their bigotry and stereotypes. We all have them, including myself. That is, references to Warren Jeffs, etc., are not going to be helpful.

Thank you.

Answer 1

In Western Civilization the cultural norm is monogamy. That is what the majority of us are raised to believe is normal. It is also what is taught in many religious texts and places of worship.

Because we are taught to be faithful to our husbands and wives - the thought of having more than one spouse seems complicated and brings up complex emotions regarding fidelity and jealousy. People are afraid of and exhibit hate towards things that are different and that they do not understand.

Answer 2

So far as I can tell, there's really two major reasons why people don't like polygamy.

The first one is a sort of instinctive one. Most people have the idea that generally there are equal numbers of men and women. Thus any time a person claims more than one mate, he is depriving someone else of one. There isn't much of a logical basis for this - obviously many people go without a mate, lose their mate, and so on. You can put it up to jealousy, if you like.

The second reason is that their particular religion tells them that its bad and immoral. Obviously religions which promote practices like the above which have the potential to upset their members will have trouble being as successful as ones that don't. Religions tend also to be obsessed with the idea of perfection and superiority, so if you already HAVE the perfect mate, how can another one be anything but less than perfect?

And whether it's appropriate or not, there are people who associate polygamists with all kinds of unsavory practices. I suppose this is easy to see even at a theoretical level - is it more likely that a person wants several spouses because he has an overabundance of love or an overabundance of lust? Lust being far more common in the world than love, I suppose it's natural that people assume this to be the reason (whether it is or not). Since there ARE people with an overabundance of lust, and they DO commit all manner of illegal acts to satiate their desires, and because polygamy can be numbered among them, perhaps it will always have this association.

None of which are really great arguments for saying that polygamy is ethically wrong. But at least it helps to explain why people feel how they do.

Answer 3

As in all relationships, romantic relationships come with certain expectations. One of the things that humans seem to naturally expect from their lovers (at least the serious, long-term ones) is exclusivity. This is probably due to the "special-ness" of this kind of relationship.

If a person claims to have more than one best friend, the person who feels they have a rightful claim to this title is often upset, because "best" implies the ONE better than all the others. This is not the case in other friendships- we have no problem with our friends having other friends.

But with lovers, even when we suspect that our lover might be attracted to another person, we get jealous. We feel threatened, and worried that their affections might move toward someone else. This just seems to be how these relationships work. We feel that we are entitled to exclusive loyalty from a spouse, and when we see a polygamous family, we are angered on behalf of the multiple wives (or husbands, if that form of polygamy exists... I don't know whether it does) because they are being treated with a disloyalty that we would feel wronged by ourselves.

Answer 4

Well I've always thought that the disapproval of polygamy was because the Old Testament was pretty clear about how Adam needed a helper not helpers! People can argue that there are a ton of polygamists in the Old Testament but if we study their situations we can always note that it got them nothing but a boat load of trouble! Over and over again it is noted that all those extra wives led their husbands away from God etcetera etcetera. Patriarchs who kept to one wife had the best luck! The Bible usually does ring true when it speaks of what is best for man and woman--even in cultures that have no prior knowledge of it.

Occasionally people have turned to polygamy in cases of need. For example the Mormons turned to it when there was such a huge imbalance in their male to female numbers. But, societies tend to turn back to the one to one ratio because there is just something natural to it.

Answer 5

I think that the problem is the idea of "marriage" with multiple partners. Polygamy ("multiple spouses") is illegal but polyamory ("multiple lovers") isn't. "Marriage" is both a legal and religious construct. Some people think "marriage" can only occur between one man and one woman. The idea morphs into the concept that sex can occur with multiple partners, but it isn't marriage can only happen with one. Because that doesn't always work, divorce makes what amounts to serial "polygamy" easier to swallow.

Answer 6

Some people feel that it ruins the religious sanctity of marriage while others feel that it is unfair from an economic standpoint (for a number of reasons). Plus, it's illegal, which is a pretty typical reason for anyone to have ill will toward one thing or another.

Answer 7

society doesn't like polygamy beacuse it contradicts how you feel as a person. you wouldnt want to show that you love or have feelings towards a person then that person goes and marries another and another and another.. when you love a person you commit your life to that "one" person. at leat that's my opinion..

Answer 8

Because they are jealous that they too cannot legally have more than one spouse.