How can I move on from an abusive and violent relationship?

Question

At the moment I feel completely lost. I have been in a relationship for two years that I have given so much of myself to.
I loved the woman deeply. However, there have been many arguments over very simple things. And when we argued she would attack me and leave me cut, kicked, scramed and hurting. I have asked before if she could love me and still do this to me. My question now is how the hell do I move on with my life from here. I cant stop thinking of her. Despite evrything I still have strong feelings for her (whatever form they take) and I miss her desperately. I feel so low and I dont know how to pick myself up. I dont feel like I can function without her. I guess Ive become reliant on having her in my life. I blame myself so much for it all yet I cant think of what I have done to deserve it. All of my confidence has gone. I feel ugly, useless and not like a man at all. I just cant see a way out of all this. Any advice would be so good right now. Thank you.

I will not rate any of these answers or the ones to my other question. For no other reason than I am so greatful to all of you. I thank you so much and I hope I can move on. Just gota try I guess. Thanks again to all of you. And I hope you look back and read this. Your good people.

Answer 1

You have all the symptoms of a victim. I am sorry you have had to live through a relationship with both physical and emotional abuse. Moving on is hard but very possible. Find a good therapist - see if there is a domestic violence chapter in your area - the local police can let you know - contact them and start seeing them. Her treatment of you had nothing to do with you or how she felt about you. It is hard to believe that after being put down for several years but that is the truth. It wouldn't be wrong for you to seek some help in the form of anti-depressants as well if a psychiatrist thinks it may help. I would recommend that you start exercising daily - some type for 30-60 minutes as this will help you feel better and believe it or not, is a great self-esteem booster.

You are going to have to step out and get help from others to get through this. This was your first step - congratulations - it's out in the open and the denial is gone. Please call a counselor and start dealing with all your feelings. You'll be fine, I know. Really. Been there, done that.

Answer 2

Unfortunately, there is no easy solution to your problem. It is going to take a lot of time to get over this person but I sense that you first have to fall back in love with yourself. Remind yourself of what you have to offer someone in a relationship. Are you a good provider, a good listener, compassionate, funny? Also remind yourself of what you think is acceptable treatment of another person. If you had a son, would you want to see a woman treating him in the manner you have been treated? My guess is that you wouldn't like to sit back and watch that scene unfold. All of this leads to wanting the best for yourself.

You can love that woman all day long, for the rest of your life even. Pray that she finds peace with herself and can find the help/counseling that she needs. There are issues within her that she has to fix herself before she can be in a relationship with someone else. She has finished playing a role in your life. It is not a bad thing, it is just that she has played her part and must move on. You are now to learn from it, accept it, and grow from it.

I hope that you find the peace you are looking for. Remember, it is first about loving yourself again and then opening yourself up to be loved by another.

Answer 3

Oh man you are a friggen mess! Hey Dude move onnn! You have made the most important first step of your life! Now I suggest you get as far away from where you lived together! Consider it a new adventure in your life . Go out and do those wacky things you always dreamed of doing but didn't have the b's . Man I envy you with your new life ! I wish I had a second chance like you !

Answer 4

From above i can tell, "you're waiting". no you could actually assume destiny yet adventure is the ideal instructor. fairly the undesirable ones. this is predicated on your writing " i think like i'm over my ex, i don't omit him, i'm not disappointed we've chop up up &i opt to pass on with my existence. i want a typical relationship with a outstanding guy, yet am nervous that besides the fact that if i think ok now, how the previous violence and cheating will result on any new relationships. How do i understand while i'm waiting"?! No discomfort no benefit, you could desire to participent to be sure, what's on your destiny. So take a plunge. With open eyes and luxuriate in a minimum of the business enterprise and robust companionship. No hazards no beneficial factors. You wrote you opt to pass on which includes your existence so do this, pass ON. No regrets, merely extra adventure. you besides mght wrote, "how the previous violence and cheating will result on any new relationships". this is going to result you in case you permit it. that's as much as you to stay at the back of the previous, do not communicate approximately it or perhaps recollect it yet be wiser because of adventure and if it occurs lower back then do not tolerate it realize it and placed an end to it precise away.

Answer 5

Just keep telling yourself you'll be fine without her. Life does go on. If she were to die instead of break your heart, you'd have to go on...just think positive about yourself and keep an open mind to going out and having fun. The more things you do to occupy your time, the faster you'll get over her.

Answer 6

just move on dude if she loved you she wouldn't hurt you just get another girl there is a right person for every one and i've found mine so just keep searching and you will find her if u really try ;) good luck ;)

Answer 7

as with any traumatic situations....get some counseling even when you feel things are better getting all of that negative energy out of you system is what you have to do.....ask yourself what is love?

Answer 8

You need personal counselling.