do you like my poem?

Question

What am I?
It's seems to me that the world is new
As if I am the only one without a clue
People seem to know what they are
Yet my expectations of me lay afar
What was I thinking from the start?
Thinking I was a beautiful work of art
Yet I don't know what others think of me
What am I even supposed to be?
Am I the painting or the frame?
Am I the dice or the entire game?
Am I the shore, or am I the sea?
Am I the thing that lies far from me?
Am I the dove or am I the crow?
Do I have the rhythm or do I have the flow?
What am I?
That’s what worries me the most
Am I the guest or simply the host?

Answer 1

Your poem is good, but try to stray away from the rhyming a bit. If u worded it a little differently, it would sound less like Dr. Suess. Other than that, the poem sounds really good. I wrote one recently about wanting to be gone because of felling like you do. Here, you can read it if you want.

I can feel death...
Can describe medusa's poison,
And I can tell you the cause for knowing conviction.
I can tell you death.

Thoughts of ebony fill your head
And the cause of tears plague your mind.
You wait for discrete reason,
Through sharp pains of sharp demise;
Feelings of a crimson rush
Bring me to an answer

You left by choice
When seas of blood rush from me
Death will have set me free from this world
When you decide to return,
I may be in paradise,
paradise, that only eradication can bring about

Paradise, created by my soul
which wanders ceaselessy through life
while i rest endlessly in death
Please return to me, dont leave me forver
For abandonment is always the problem
It is always at my hand, on my mind, ending it all

If you leave me, no matter how
I will leave
I will leave this galaxy and go far far away
To a place where I can be jubliant
without a forced smile
Paradise


I hope this helped!!! KEEP WRITING!!! you're actually a really good poet! :)

Answer 2

Who are you?
It's seems to me that these words are new
As if with poetry you have a clue
By the answers people seem to know what you are
Yet another expecting poet from afar
What I was thinking from the start
Is that your poem is a beautiful work of art
Yet I don't know what others might see
When it comes to what you are supposed to be.
Are you the painting or the frame?
Are you the dice or the entire game?
Are you the shore, or are you the sea?
Are you the thing that lies far from me?
Are you the dove or are you the crow?
Do you have the rhythm or do you have the flow?
The people here will now let you know.
What are you?
Not to worry, for I’d say most
Would gladly be both your guest and your host

Answer 3

I have to admit that I don't know a whole lot about poetry, but it seems pretty good to me. It seems like you are trying to find yourself in a world that is so much bigger than you. Good luck!

Answer 4

Nice but a bit simplistic, I'm not really into the rhyming scheme and the poem doesn't capture my attention. So many questions with no answers as well.

Answer 5

It's as fast as one-two-three,
it's as far as eyes can see,
you were born to poetry,
and as good as you can be.

But, however, don't forget:
count the syllabes so they sound
as the great poems around,
and don't show until it's set.

Answer 6

It's really quite good.....good subject and put together well.

Answer 7

I think its reeaally good :)