Ok..short story..
Married for 11 years, been together for 13.
3 kids, aged 12, 10, 9.
Wife has admitted to cheating on me with 2 different guys, happened about 3-4 years ago. Thats is not the problem I have today, though, that is a longer story, that I dont have time to get in to.
Recently, in the last 2 months, wife has "befriended" a young man at work, who is single, and 7 years her younger.
When I got our cell phone bill, and noticed she went over her minutes, I looked to see what, who, where was called, as we had a mistale before on our bill. I notice a number which I had not noticed before.
The number was this young man's number. No big deal right?
I didnt even ask a question, just let it rest at, please keep a closer eye on when you use the number , as the bill was 50 dollars higher than normal. Shes says ok.
Now, the last couple of weeks, she has became very irritable and moody. I have tried repeatedly to talk to her..she wont hear of it.
2007-03-20 08:58:46 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
One night ( last Saturday) she calls me and tell me she is over at this guys house watching movies, with our kids. ( I was at work ).
Having gone thru the cheating thing before, with much of the same story she is giving me, I flip out, and ask her to come home right away.
She wont listen to me, and thinks I am accusing her of cheating on me, which I havent put past her yet , as there is not enough evidence to say she is or isnt yet.
I am trying to stay calm and collective, but I feel, Im the one who should be mad at HER, not the other way around.
Is she giving me the classic, Im mad at you for accusing me of cheating because I am , guilt trip?
We have 3 kids....I have lived through HELL already to keep this family together. I just want what is best for these kids.
HELP ! I am tired of carrying the load in this marriage.
2007-03-20 09:02:17 · update #1
What is best for your kids would be learning how to have healthy relationships....and it appears they will not learn this from your relationship with your wife.
I had the same situation with my ex husband; tried to stay and make it work "for the sake of the kids".
What I learned was that not only were my ex and I miserable; but so were the kids.
For the better of the whole - move on, and begin a new life with new possiblities. It will be an adjustment for all, and the kids may be upset for a while.
Don't you, and your children deserve better? I think so. Don't paint a negative picture of their mother. You and your wife can still be a "team" when raising your children. Cooperation is key.
Good luck...
2007-03-20 09:29:56 · answer #1 · answered by Kendra O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay darlin- your wife is being totally dis respectful to you as her husband and man! Even if he is JUST a friend she should totally KNOW this is killing you! She should not be spending her spare time with some guy when she could be home spending it with her husband! Tell her exactly how you feel- let her know why- and how deeply this is affecting you! THIS IS NOT RIGHT! She is being selfish, inconsiderate, and it totally needs to stop now! If she loves you she will end all of this behavior and make things up to you! My heart goes out to you and I totally hope it all goes well for you- u sound like a very caring and forgiving man- but you deserve SO MUCH better than that! WOW a man who WANTS to talk! lol
2007-03-20 16:20:26 · answer #2 · answered by cstinkerbell6969 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you can't handle this any longer. Talk to her, tell her you're not accusing, but concerned because of her past fidelity issues. If she still gets upset, let her go. How long should you put up with being treated like the door mat? Go to court ask for custody of the children, having the grounds of infidelity may help. Let he go be with her boyfriend while you get your life straight and find a woman that knows how to say no to the advances of other men. Good luck
2007-03-20 16:06:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Damn man, I'm real sorry to hear that, but damn..she's a *****. I had one too, not as invested, but close.
This chick I went out with for three years. She cheated on me twice, that I know of, and lied to me a number of other times.
I stupidly ended up living with this chick. Once a liar always a liar. It's not you man. Sometimes these women are just selfish as hell, and would never be happy. I know it's almost impossible to imagine doin it.
But I pulled out of that last relationship, and have never allowed the whore back into my heart.
SHe cried and begged and all that shitt. **** that there's time to be strong, and not let somebody play you for the fool.
Yeah I was lonely for a while, and yeah it kinda messes up my head from time to time, but damn it's way better than living with a damn enemy that's out to just **** me over. Is she your friend, your lover? No she's antagonistic and crossing. SHe considers you an enemy pretty much, and you are getting in the way of her selfish ideals.
**** her, man. Be strong. Grow some damn balls, we get over everything in life, and I mean everything.
There is always a sunny day behind all the clouds, I guarantee it.
2007-03-20 16:16:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So let me get this straight...She has a history of cheating. You've noticed that she has a young man's phone number on her cell phone, and she's mad at you??????
She's probably mad that she got caught and is probably going through some sort of withdrawls not talking to the young buck (assuming she has given it up). And she takes those withdrawls out on you.
Great life, isn't it?
Stick to your guns. You're doing the right thing.
2007-03-20 16:05:21 · answer #5 · answered by Pythagoras 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Out of that whole story, the thing that I think would piss me off the most is that she had your children over at this guys house!!!!!!! Regardless of whether she is cheating (which she probably is), she is taking your children to this man's house when she knows you have insecurities about him??!!!
She has NO respect for you, our your marriage! You have no reason to trust her! In fact, you would be an idiot NOT to question her!!! It sounds to me like it may be time for you to put your foot down - or up her azz!! If you really want what is best for your kids, be absolutley POSITIVE she never involves your kids in her sh*t again!!!
2007-03-20 16:19:50 · answer #6 · answered by Kailey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, you let her get off cheating on you, and clearly while she may not be having sex with this new guy she is doing it again. Emotional cheating is sometimes worse than sexual cheating. You are way to forgiving of her. Did she ever make up for her past cheating, doesn't sound like it. I'd tell her, it's either you or him. If she picks him, then you have your answer.
2007-03-20 16:04:29 · answer #7 · answered by javelin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should NOT be "hanging out" with guys anyway. AND to take the kids around this man, wow, that's really wrong!!! She is totally cheating and you need to end this right now. You took it before and that's why she's doing it again. I do believe in "once a cheater, always a cheater".
2007-03-20 16:46:51 · answer #8 · answered by luvmrtnz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, you are a doormat, plain and simple. No wonder your wife treats you like sh!t and cheats! You should have left her years ago.
My advice - Hire the best lawyer you can afford, get as much evidence of her cheating as possible, and file for full custody of your kids. Mayne if you are lucky you can get out of this without losing everything you own.
2007-03-20 16:04:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, you enjoy being used as a doormat. THis woman has cheated and is cheating. Is this the life you want. Your raising your kids with a woman who has no morals or scruples and yet.....your still there. What exactly is your question because I KNOW you already know whats going on. Cowboy up!
2007-03-20 16:03:33 · answer #10 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋