My bf and I are both 16 almost 17 and have been together for 2 yrs. I am on the pill and we use condoms but I want a baby with him so bad. I know they are a lot of work because i have twin neices and a nephew but i still want one. I would love to have a baby that we made together. It would be so special.
2007-03-20 08:50:42 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
DON'T DO IT!!!
I know that you care about him and that you want to share something special. . . but you might one day change your mind and a baby is permanent.
The hard truth of it is, if you have a baby now, you're going to end up sacrificing so many things. You're never going to have fun with your friends while they're out experiencing partying. Forget about being able to experience "normal" college life, because you'll have a baby at home. While the rest of your friends are having opportunities open up for them left and right. . . you're going to be struggling with working a minimum wage job because of a lack of education with a baby at home.
On top of that, you have to consider what's best for the baby. Are you going to be able to afford to take care of the child? What about medical insurance? Do you or your boyfriend have a job that offers medical coverage for a baby if it gets sick? What happens if there are complications with the pregnancy and your baby requires special care? What about food, clothing, daycare (which gets REALLY expensive -- especially for an infant). . .and then later, school. You'll have to pay for school lunches, field trips, books, etc.
Chances are, you and your boyfriend won't work out in the long-run. Most of the time, these relationships that begin as high-school sweethearts don't end up working out. Even though you may not agree because you're "different", it's better to wait and see and be safe.
I had my son when I was 18 and although I was a few years older than you, it was EXTREMELY difficult. Although I wouldn't give up my son for the world, I do think it would have been easier if I had waited until I had experienced more of life and gone through the usual steps that people go through. Life will happen. Don't rush it. Enjoy it.
2007-03-20 09:04:06 · answer #1 · answered by Sylvan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have NO idea what's in store for you w/ a baby! I thought I knew everything there was to know about babies b/c, like yourself, I had nieces and nephews, but once I had my daughter at the age of 21 (I was 20 when I got pregnant), I was completely clueless! It was so different b/c I was the one the had to provide daycare, clothing, food, diapers, wipes, medicine, dr's appts, all while trying to work full-time w/ no help at all from the father. (He has yet to ever see her, but I could care less about that.) My s/i/l is also 16 and wants a baby, but I told her the same thing I'm gonna tell you. Wait until the age of 21 or 22. It's still young, but at least you'll be able to enjoy your freedom as a teenager now and even get in a couple of legal partying years before you make such a huge commitment! Have you thought about college after high school? Do you know how hard it is to balance work, school and a job on your own? Don't count on your b/f sticking around or being the wonderful father you envision him to be. Babies make all young guys (well, most of them anyway) to act like jerks and you'll be lucky if you can get him to buy you a pack of diapers let alone make him take the baby for his own visitations! Not to mention that you're going to have to provide health insurance for this child and w/o a full-time job that offers those benefits, you're not going to suck out my hard earned tax money to pay for YOUR child! I didn't do that to you as a citizen and it's not fair for the rest of the population to do the same! Sorry, went off on a tangent a little.Also, don't be so sure that your parents will be willing to babysit a child that you created w/o doing the research. Yeah, babies are cute and cuddly and they love you forever, but have you thought about what if you get a tough baby? My son was 18 mos old before he slept thru the night and he's going on 3 and he STILL has some problems getting to sleep and staying that way! Enjoy your independence now and have fun being a teen! Don't just make a stupid decision b/c you want to have a baby! It's not fair to the baby if you bring him/her into this world w/o a solid game plan and can't provide for him/her! It's not THEIR problem, it's YOURS!
2007-03-20 16:08:34 · answer #2 · answered by sweet libra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I thought the same thing when i was 14 but i was doing it for the wrong reasons i wanted to runaway from home and school i felt if i had a baby it will fill that lonely part of me..I went withh my boyfriend at the time got pregnat and had a child at 16 i never thought in my life that i was going to run back to my parents now as a 20 year i do not regret it because i have a beutiful 5 year old but at the time when i was trying to get to the first three years i wished i never done that.....and now i am pregnat with my second baby married and in love with my son...but unfortunaly my relationship with his father did not work out he does not know his dad....why don't you do sometime more special like get married buy a home...and when you have alll this luxouries bring a baby to this world in reality it does not matter how old you are at any given time having and raising a child is hard......
2007-03-20 16:03:14 · answer #3 · answered by mommy2be 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, it wouldn't.....it would be the end of school, probably your relationship and will totally limit your future. The fact that you are only 16 shows that this is 'doll syndrome'......I wanted a baby too. Now I have 4...trust me, wait until you have lived. I know you don't want to hear this but you're still a kid yourself. Who I was at 16 was so different from who I was at 19....and then at 22.....and then at 25 and so on....
We keep growing and changing but if you have a baby now, that won't change....it will be there FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! At 16, all you see is how cute they are...you can dress them up in cute clothes and take their picture, shop in the mall with a cute little stroller, etc.
What you are not seeing are the sleepless night, sicknesses, frantically trying to work and raise a child, worrying every day for them, providing food, shelter and medical insurance...and then eventually worrying that they will decide they want a baby at 16 too. This is a phase and it will pass. Enjoy your young life before you bring someone else into it.
2007-03-20 16:04:29 · answer #4 · answered by Clarissa 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ever have a puppy? how well did you take care of it ?
did the b/f ever have a puppy ? how much interest did he
take in housebreaking it. Do either of you pay for the dog
house or puppy chow , or trips to the vet ? would you and
bf quit making out in the car if the puppy howling at the moon?
Manify puppy a bunch and call it baby, add diapers, formula,
staying up all night with colic (Both of you) and having to
go to work in the morning -- you'll probably both be working
out to pay rent, groceries, gas etc (or were gonna live with
mom and dad ?). Think bf is gonna be burpin a brat when
the boys wanna go out for a cold one ? In your opinion,
at this age should he ?
No doubt you'll do it your way -- To everything there IS a
season, and kiddoo this is a little early in the year for you
to be thinking baby --- it WON'T be a niece or nephew
GUARANTEED
May God Bless and GUIDE you
2007-03-20 16:12:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you need to wait a little while longer. You are to young to have a baby. By no means am I trying to tell you what to do I am just making a suggestion that you dont have to listen to . I dated a guy in high school all 4 years. We where engaged to be married and everything. I thought that I wanted his baby to, we tried and tried and tried but never got pregnant. Good thing we broke up the day before graduation. Had I had his baby I would be raising it all alone. Just give it a little more time like maybe two more years are so. Good Luck in whatever you decide.
2007-03-20 15:59:25 · answer #6 · answered by spold_qt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Special. Hmmmmm, let's cover some ground here:
nieces and nephews GO HOME at night, so you aren't up taking care of them. you don't buy their diapers, formula, food, medicine, vitamins, baby ointment, wipes, clothing, detergent, faabric softener, furniture or transportation seats. So that sounds like a deal, until YOU pay for those things.
you are both underage for full time work, so that means NO INSURANCE for the babies (and they DO get sick). It is no guarantee that your "flava" of the month is going to stick around once you make him "yo baby Daddy".
He will more than likely run like a rabbit from the responsibility. Sex is one thing and it sound like you are giving him all of that a teenage, immature boy could want.
what if the baby you want SO badly arrives and is HANDICAPPED? I know for a fact caring for someone who is disabled is hard, not only for you the caregiver, but for them because they can't do for themselves. Frustration levels are ENORMOUS.
When was the last time you went for a week on virtually no sleep because someone who totally depends upon you and can do nothing for themselves is sick?
And if "mr. wonderful" decides to stick around, where will he come up with the money to pay for the needs of this "special" child you have created??
HE HAS NO SKILLS!!
YOU HAVE NO SKILLS!!
Babies aren't toys.
Find out if Mr. Wonderful is ready to play Mr. Mom because I get the feeling that once reality sets in, YOU will run away too and leave that poor baby with anyone whom you can dump it on.
Just because you can have sex doesn't make you mature enough to care for a child that you brought into the world for selfish reasons.
And surprise - kids don't "love you unconditionally".
I'd love to call your folks and tell them...I'll bet they will be so proud of you...throwing your future away on a whim and throwing theirs away as well. No retirement for them, they will have to take care of your bundle because - oh yeah - you are not a high school graduate, you have no skills and you are just plain ignorant.
2007-03-20 16:08:23 · answer #7 · answered by stonechic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your going to do what you want all we can do on here is give you advice and hope you take it... being 16 is hard your still in school why would you want to do that I would wait until you were done with highschool and then go from thier, I was 17 when I got preg with my son it is so hard yeah I still was with my boyfriend but he had school too.. I had to put him in daycare at 6 weeks I wish I was home with him and not having some one else watch him.. then thier are other things you have to think of girl. diapers are not cheap. and other things are not cheap. daycare now is over 100.00 bucks a week... so thnk about it 500 a month in just daycare cost crazy.. I understand that you want a baby thier cute you can dress them up so on so on but you have to thnk of well who is going to watch the baby who is going to support this baby be smart.. and if this is what you want then dont depend on the system or any one else they only help for so long then your on ur own .. I hope you make the right choice good luck
2007-03-20 16:03:26 · answer #8 · answered by nicole23wa@yahoo.com 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you are crazy! Don't you want to go out and hang with your friends when ever you want? That is not going to be an option if you have a baby. You will have plenty of time when you are older to have kids. It will come faster than you think. Also you are thinking to much about yourself and your wants and not what would be good for your baby and your bf. Is he wanting to have a baby? I would guess not. Its not fair to give him that responsibility. Its one thing to get pregnant on accident at that age, but a completely different thing to plan it. Think long and hard about this, it isn't like having a pet fish you can flush down the toilet when you are tired of feeding it. It takes a lot of time, money, and energy to raise a kid.
2007-03-20 15:58:05 · answer #9 · answered by Blipp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that what you're saying is very sincere and geniune. I admire your love and I wish that I could feel the same. But, if you really love each other then you know that you will be together for a long time. I think that you should wait at least until you get yourself money and a legitamate place in the world. (like a job,a house, and a car) If you really love yourself and your man and your baby then you will make sure that you can provide a good life for yourself and them, with the help of your man of course.
2007-03-20 16:27:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋