Should couples concidering divorce stay togeter for the sake of the children?

Question

It would really help me if i had some religious view points on this, namely catholic.

Thanks.

Answer 1

if people get on, but the love has gone, then they should see about an open marriage...

if things aren't good, they should split...

Answer 2

As stated, I don't think the Catholic religion allows for divorce under any circumstances, based on the notion that "what God has united let no man tear apart". However, annulments are permitted.

From a practical standpoint, this is probably a good idea that may go too far. I think a lot of troubled marriages today may be redeemable, but since we are a people of quick fixes, we choose divorce rather than the long process of reconciliation. If children are involved, I think the idea of staying together and trying to resolve differences is a very noble goal. A couple should do everything in its power to remain together.

However, there may come a point and time where all of the effort has not worked, especially if there is abuse involved. Under these circumstances, it may be best for everyone involved (children included) to seek a divorce. It may be a sin from the Catholic viewpoint, but if it meant the difference between the happiness and well-being of my children, then so be it.

Answer 3

You probably know that the Catholic Church does not recognize divorce. If the reason for seeking a divorce is physical abuse, sexual abuse, or drug use, or other issue that would jeopardize the health and well-being of the children, then a separation is advisable. Note that separation is distinct from a divorce. A separated couple, as far as the Catholic Church is concerned, are still married, but just not living together.

If the reason for wanting a divorce is due to one spouse's previous marriage (from which there was no divorce decree), a false identity (spouse is not the person claimed), mental illness (i.e., spouse did not have capacity to consent to marriage), spouse's criminal past of which the other spouse was not aware, spouse's communicable disease of which the other spouse was not aware, lack of consummation, or other reason that would legally prohibit the marriage, the Catholic Church would probably grant an anullment (again, this is not a divorce, but a way of stating that the marriage was invalid.)

Any other reason for wanting a divorce needs to be reconsidered. Infidelity or incompatibility, poverty, etc, are not reasons for separation or anullment.

So, to answer your question, should a couple stay together for the sake of the children? If there is a valid reason for separation (as outlined above) then the answer is NO. If there is a valid reason to grant an anullment, the answer is NO. All other reasons, so long as the couple can be civil and can love their children, then the answer is Yes.

Answer 4

Fizzle, regardless of your religion staying together for the sake of the children is selfish and wrong. Children are not stupid and they know when their parents are fighting and not getting along. Its not just words but its the feeling and vibes they get when the parents are in the same room. If for whatever reason two people no longer love each other and there is no hope for the marriage and counseling and prayer doesn't help then those 2 people should do whats best for the children and staying together and pretending by lying everyday gets pretty thin. You won't be able to pretend forever. I don't believe in divorce but not all marriages are perfect and just because 2 people decide to get married doesn't mean that God meant for them to be together. For better or For worse are words that are suppose to mean something not just lip services. God knows your heart and HE knows your situation. HE will forgive you. Children deserve to be happy too.

Answer 5

hmmmmmmmm... tough answer here...
I'm in a situation that falls under this question... (minus the religion) My wife had a 3 year affair years back... we've gotten past it. But the love has definitely dwindled out... We both want what's best for our kids. But at the same time, we don't know what the better choice is???
My wife and I both came from Split families, and we wanted something different for our kids... to try and start something new again, a new era so to speak, the idea of not quiting or just giving up, like society has gotten so good at... I believe that people are to eager to just throw marriage away to quickly... I understand that if the 2 are fighting and yelling all the time, that's not good for anyone to be around. We don't have that... we're very civil, and try very hard for our kids sake... who knows, the day may come that we need to just finish it, but until that day, we'll keep trying for our kids, and each other...

Answer 6

I'm christian and no well enough that the catholic church or any church for that matter is strongly against divorce unless it is for a strong valid reason. For instance if the husband is abusive, controlling, and when there are issues within the marriage that may be considered irreconcilable. I do believe that God wouldn't want any of his children to be unhappy in life and that includes being unhappy in marriage. If these are problems or issues of concern for you I do believe God would forgive and bless you for having the courage to stand-up for your happiness. It is never right to stay married just for the children because if you do then you will just take resentment out on the kids for having you stay in a dead marriage. It is better for you and the kids if you divorce because it will allow you to be a better mother and a happier parent.

God Bless and Good Luck.

Answer 7

the catholic church doesn't believe in divorce..but it all depends on how happy or unhappy and the level of love you hve for each other. If you see yourself been able to stay because you love your spouse then i say seek counseling from a father or a therapist...if you are done with your spouse beyond return the by all means don't stay in a marriage because of your children. My mother did the same thing and i remember me begging her to leave my dad because i was sick and tired of them fighting everyday. She left two years ago and it affected her in a big way, i on the other hand as the child of the parent who stayed picked the bad habit of staying in a relationship just because tht's what i grew up knowing...but i had to stop and say no..so it does affect your children either way in the long run...think anr evaluate real hard for the sake of your children talk to your spouse about it if they are sensible enough..i hope all works out for you!!

Answer 8

If there is no abuse, physical or substance, you might stay together temporarily for the kids sake if it would be best for them. If the situation is bearable for all parties. Until one or both parties is able to be on their own or in a different situation.

It has to be said that when people make the decision to have kids, they might have to do things they might not be totally happy with for awhile. The rule of "whatever floats my boat" is fine when you have no responsibilities, but when there are kids involved they deserve consideration for their best interests.

It has been a long time since I have had any experience with the Catholic religion but it always used to be, once you are married, that is the end of it until the lid is nailed down on someone's coffin.

Answer 9

I know that staying together for the sake of the children, hurt the children in the long run. You might want to check with your priest on this due to they don't believe in divorce. Good luck and may GOD bless.

Answer 10

Why make the kids suffer too? Kids are way smarter than we think, they will know something isn't wrong between their parents. Divorce isn't easy, but they will adjust, just like the husband and wife. I'd rather have my parents divorced than see them fight in front of me, etc. I'm Catholic, but don't practice, but the Catholic church doesn't allow divorce, right? But you can't always live by what the church wants. Do what is best for you, your husband and the children, even if it means divorce.

Answer 11

Catholicism states that divorce is wrong but a marriage can be annulled (need Vatican approval). That is an antiquated and ridiculous concept that hurts the children. Two people who do not want to remain together and who stay married are a bad influence on the kids.