I am a newleywed. I am 18 years old and my husband is 20. He has never cheated on me and never did anything to make me think that. I had a rough past with my ex, which makes me think that everyone will wind up hurting me. My husband treats me so good but if we have a little argument i am scared that he will leave me. He does assure me that he married me until death do us part. He is in the marines, in another country. I will be moving with him within 2 months. I am not sure if i am just frustrated and want to be with him or what. Please help! I can never find an answer. I want to stop worrying about this. Why am i so worried?
2007-03-20 08:44:44 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i would say you got married way too young and that could be the reason why you feel the way you do..but it doesn't mean leave him, you have to work through your issues. Men are easily pushed away, if you keep worrying about if he will leave you, you will not enjoy your marriage, just go with the flow and let it be, don't worry about the what if's, just concetrate on what you have with him. You said he treats you well then that's good , it means he loves you and cares for you. Stop worrying of what has not happened...sweetie i'm married to and i can tell you that we do argue, the difference is, we apologize to each other and move on, try that and move on..don't just say i forgive and not mean it. Enjoy your marriage. Another thing that might help is if you have someone you can confide in, someone you trust not to smear your business out there, it helps to talk to someone, maybe someone who was married young like you, or someone mature, and regardless of the advice you get, you make the decision and decide what you really want and that's good for you..i say enjoy your marriage and spouse and i swear communication is key to a succesful realtionship tell him how you feel, but remember get over the insecurities!! good luck and if you need someone to confide in you can talk to me, i got married young too
2007-03-20 09:10:03 · answer #1 · answered by lovely 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Put your mind to rest. You can't change anything by worrying about this. One time many years ago I had the same problem as you. My dad left me at a early age and I felt there just wasn't any reason for a man, through high school had been hurt by several that I felt I could trust. Met my husband through his sister and we married, now for almost 2 years I drove this man and myself nuts, him saying the same as yours. This man ended up being the love of my life and I lost him 14 years ago through death, if he was still alive we would still be together. Now, granted later on in years he would tell me that he didn't know if I was trying to get him to leave or what but that he had taken his wedding vows seriouly and had no intentions of leaving, myself I felt it would be a matter of time until he left, so now I think back and what I put him through those for first 2 years because of my foolish thinking was crazy. Trust is something you earn, if your husband has earned that trust then honey go live with him and enjoy every minute because we aren't promised tomorrow.
2007-03-20 09:18:14 · answer #2 · answered by Krinta 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he has never given you reason to mistrust him, then the problem definitely sits with you and its up to you to work thru it. Part of it could be missing him and the uncertainty involved in his being away, etc. Plus you are both very young (I was your age when I got married, if this is your true love, stick with it - marriage is a lot of hard work, but a "job" with great benefits - I've been married 25+ years now). Try to keep yourself busy, get a part time job, volunteer at the local animal shelter, hospital, hospice, or library (volunteer to read to the blind). And whenever you start to think of your husband and what he's doing - remember he is serving his country in a very heroic way (and thank you to both of you for this sacrifice) and when you think of him, just him a note or an e-mail or a card (or keep a diary so he will know how often he is in your thoughts and prayers). Good luck and God Bless.
2007-03-20 09:05:33 · answer #3 · answered by tersey562 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Calm down, sweetie. Those little arguments are a good sign if they're easily resolved. Every healthy relationship needs them.
Explain calmly to your man what you wrote here. Make sure he knows it's your problem from your past, not him, and ask him to remind you a lot of his faithfulness.
Of course you want to be with him. You will heal from your past wounds, don't worry. It'll just take time. Remember, every time you have a little spat, and he doesn't leave or stay mad, you have taken one more step on the road to healing. One more step closer together!
2007-03-20 08:53:51 · answer #4 · answered by skunkytruck 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie you are still very young and vulnerable and insecure. This is what happens when one marries young. You are living by fear and thats not good. Fear is not from God. You need to turn to God and let him lead you and guide you. You need to pray for your husband every day. I think you might have suffered some kind of rejection earlier in your life that has caused you to become jealous. You need to address that now while you are still young. My suggestion is that you go seek the help of your pastor or a woman who serves God and whom you know yu can trust. Let her pray with you and show you how to operate. My advise to you is not to live by your negative feelings and emotions but to start being positive. Everyday tell yourself your marriage will be successful. Speak life over your life, your marriage, your husband and future children. DO not listen to negative thoughts. CHOOSE to override them and become confident and sure of all your footsteps. If you choose to walk wih God, you walk upstream but you are always in His company. He will guide your path and your way. Pray for your husband daily. Buy the book THE POWER OF THE PRAYING WIFE and pray the prayers daily for him. Prayer even though you do them actually can bring about the right things. They really work.
Right now you are still finding your feet and they feel wobbly but with time you will grow from the small seed that you are into a beautiful plant bearing the most aromatic beautiful flower, drawing people nearer to you because you smell so good. Be strong my child and be confident. Give all your fears to God and ask him to replace them with love and joy and peace and kindness and goodness and self-control and patience and endurance and faithfulness.
God bless you on the journey through life and keep you and make his face shine on you and be there through every test that comes your way. May he lead you through the furnace of the refiners fire and bring you out of it radient and blooming and beautiful.
2007-03-20 09:24:45 · answer #5 · answered by uniquechild 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have no longer any administration over something yet what you your self do, no longer over all of us else. If somebody is going to cheat they'll, yet you ought to understand that in case you have achieved each and every thing you could to make a satisfied marriage, and it nevertheless fails, understand that he's the priority, no longer you. in case you attempt to exert administration, it is going to in effortless terms push others away. the terrific ingredient you're able to do is stay calm and satisfied. people gravitate to satisfied people, they exude a self assurance thats very captivating. in case you behave this sort instead of insecure your husband won't prefer to lose you. Insecurities push people away, happiness draws. basically be extremely impressive for the subsequent whilst and thoroughly pleased with your self and he will observe. If he is going to cheat then he will, there is not any longer something you're able to do to offer up it. communicate what makes you satisfied in existence and persue it, do no longer enable your happiness count on your husband, in effortless terms you factors your self with protection from harm. i might besides the shown fact that still recommend you go purchase him a sparkling wedding ceremony ring in the previous he is going, and supply it as a modern-day with a small love word.
2016-10-02 11:18:58 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably are frustrated at being apart and it is stressful to be away from your husband. It does take alot of trust to live away from each other. Please try to relax, by being afraid all the time and worrying about it you will be looking for the hurt. If he is going to leave you he will and there isn't any precautions you take to prevent that so don't worry about it till it happens.
2007-03-20 08:54:06 · answer #7 · answered by Trisha 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you keep worrying because of unresolved issues in your past, that u have not gotten past yet. u have a low self worth, and your insecure, u need to get help for your self worth, u had a difficult time before and expect the worst from the new husband.
2007-03-20 10:25:34 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ANYONE who has been hurt, cheated on or lied to in the past is going to have major trust issues! so, you are normal....BUT, dont keep bugging him about it or you will drive both of you nuts...
relax, if he has NOT given you any reason, try to ease your mind in that fact and that he loves YOU.....
you have a long hard life ahead of you marrying so young (i did too).....and alot more to learn about each other....
take it 1 day at a time....cause life is too short not to be HAPPY......
good luck and GOD bless....
2007-03-20 09:23:13 · answer #9 · answered by STARZ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You got married way too young. This is what happens when children pretend to be adults.
We keep getting questions like this
2007-03-20 08:49:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 4⤋