Im a 37 m, I just left my fiancee three weeks ago,we
have a baby 11mth, I been trying to get her to go counselor about are problems for several months,she already has a lawyer after just 3 WEEKS,I found her getting e-mail from guys,she has a my space account and talk to many different guys on this site,telling them she unhappy, I confronted her about this and she deny everything,even tho i had proof,so i left,Im dieing inside not seeing my kid,yet she tells me she loves me,we been together for 7 years, I never cheated on her,tho i have had my chances to,also it had gottin to a point were she didnt want touch me and rarely told me she loved me, but now that were spilt we had more sex in the last two weeks then the last 2 months,I thought by this point in my life that games were over HELP
2007-03-20 08:38:28 · 9 answers · asked by mike n 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The fact that you are having more sex pretty much indicates she is NOT seeing anyone else but lacked adventure and spontaneity in your relationship. Things must have gotten stale and now this seems to be a shot in the arm. You need to start dating her and wooing her again. It's easy to get into a rut. Now's your turn to see if she still has the sparks for you. Stay where you're at for now and just date the hell out of her and show her how much she means to you. If it works out, then lay some ground rules about the Internet sites. You can even start sending her dirty emails for a change. Good luck!
2007-03-20 08:46:51 · answer #1 · answered by blutoadmirer 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You know a lot more is going on here than just the fact that you guys are having more sex now than because you've split up..Listen, what do you hope to gain to gain from being in relationship with a woman like that? I have two suggestions. YOU get yourself some counseling to help YOU understand that you have to make YOURSELF #1 priority right now.#2 Talk to a lawyer. You do have rights as the babys father and you sure don't want the baby's mother playing games or whoring around while she's raising your kid.Do you want sole or shared custody of your child?The thing you need to be clear about is that she won't stop
playing games.This woman loves and thrives on danger and excitement.Unless you want to live your life driving yourself crazy about what trouble she's getting into ( and she will find trouble acting like that) then get help with moving on without her.As far as the sex I'm sorry to say but I think she's just using you. My advice? Get therapy and talk to a lawyer.Join a codependents anonymous group. Support groups are a great way to keep your brain going in a positive direction. Good luck.
2007-03-20 15:57:56 · answer #2 · answered by Yahooanswerssux 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry,
Yes, she is playing games by sleeping with you, but honestly, if she says she is unhappy in the relationship then you should listen. What is what makes her unhappy?
She is looking for attention outside the relationship. This is a sign that she is lacking emotional affection, attention and adventure. Is she younger than you?
My advice to you is to go to councelling together and give it a try. However, if she has a lawyer already, the decision has been done to leave for good.
Good luck
2007-03-20 15:48:45 · answer #3 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have been played. Sadly, the way our court system works, she will most likely wind up with full custody and you will be paying her 40-50% of your income in child support until the kid is 22 years old.
Your best bet - Get the best lawyer you can afford and gather as much evidence as possible regarding her cheating behavior. Maybe if you can show the court that she is a lying
b!t@h, you can at least get joint custody with no alimony
2007-03-20 15:46:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in a very similar situation...I even had more sex with him after her left. I think it happened because it was my way of keeping him around. Honestly, it hurts to hear (believe me) but being with a cheater is the wrong decision EVERY time....once a cheater, always a cheater and that's held very true for me. You need to move on with your life and try to get custody of your child. Like previously stated, gather evidence to show she is/was cheating and that should help your case.
2007-03-20 15:51:49 · answer #5 · answered by NikkiWy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is not much anyone can say at this point but sorry to hear about theses things going on in your life and sorry for the kid having to go through this as well . but if she got a lawyer then you better be ready for what is about to come your way . and you need to have proof of the things she did even on-line things and what she said to those guy's .its not your life that is falling apart . but it will be the child's if this is not taken care of soon . best of luck to you ...
2007-03-20 15:49:50 · answer #6 · answered by patti_buffkin2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well one problem is that your still just fiance's after 7 years and a baby. she probably wonders why you don't want to marry her, and has begun to withdraw from you, emotionally sort of in self-defense. you definitely need couples counseling if there is any hope for your relationship at all. to bad you had to bring a innocent child into it.
2007-03-20 15:51:00 · answer #7 · answered by JEANNE B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She didnt sound as committed to the relationship as you were. You two need to sit down and talk and see if the relationship is worth salvaging.
2007-03-20 16:00:56 · answer #8 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take your problems to the Lord Jesus. Pray. Talk to God. He will listen and he wants you to be happy. He loves you. You cannot fix it on your own.
2007-03-20 15:46:39 · answer #9 · answered by me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋