ok. well i just turned 19 on the first of march. i just found out i was 9weeks pregnant by my boyfriend of 9 months. this would my first child and first time being prg. I don't know what i should do because i have a schlorship for clark alanta and would be attending in August. My mom and grandma are so proud of me because i will be the first in my household to attend college and i don't wont to hurt or disappoint them.
i just don't know what to do.
my boyfriend is so selfish and is no help, and there is no promise that we would be together just because he says he'll be there, its not a guarentee because we are so off and on. and i don't want to be in this alone.
IF YOU WERE IN MY SITUATION WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
i'm scared to have an abortion because of the regret, but i don't want to put my dreams on hold either.
2007-03-20 08:20:53 · 32 answers · asked by shay 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I think that deep in your heart, you know what you have to do. No one on yahoo answers will be able to tell you what is best because you know your circumstances better than anyone else. Please understand that whatever you choose, your parents will always love you and nothing will change the fact that you are their daughter. Good luck!
2007-03-20 08:44:04 · answer #1 · answered by keonli 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is tough. Well, I will tell ya just from what my opinion is..you only have two real choices here...1) Put the baby up for adoption there are tons of couples that dearly want a child but for some reason or another can't.... or 2) Keep the baby & still make your dreams come true...it may take a little longer & it may be harder but I assure you that in the end you'll be all the more proud. I know you are probably scared right now, and although the lack of judgement got you pregnant it sounds like you know that your boyfriend isn't to be counted on. I agree with you on the abortion, I think that you'll live with that decision for the rest of your life & may regret it...I am prolife but everyone is entitled their opinion. Have you talked to your mom and grandma...the most important thing right now is to have the love of your mom and grandma even if its tough love...you won't hurt them and you wont be a dissappointment because of this....you wont be alone because hopefully your mom and grandma will love you enough to be there for you. If I were in your situation I would suck it up...go to college and survive! There are tons of single moms out there that do it everyday, there is tons of resources out there and there is nothing that you can't do...that includes being an awesome mother! Good luck....take care of yourself~emotionally and physically...start taking prenatal & eating good, don't use drugs or drink...the is enough stress already you don't want to add to it by making bad decisions and dealing with a baby who could become sick or have problems health wise....get prental care....lots of hugs.
2007-03-20 08:34:51 · answer #2 · answered by mrs.m 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
All decisions you may take now are difficult. An adoption is not easy, because you will lose face and your opportunity to go to College - a good College, not a lemon. Also, you will have to live with the reality of that separation. Abortion is also difficult because, well, it is not an easy decision either. Marrying your Boyfriend is not a solution. Expecting your Family to look after you and the baby is, on one hand, quite an imposition because this was not planned, and on the other, it does not make you autonomous. A Professional single Mother is not in the same category as a teenage-Mother. There aren't too many teenage-Mothers going to Harvard...So, since you are asking for an honest answer:
I would abort, but make sure never to do it again. But that's me. Good luck.
2007-03-20 09:03:15 · answer #3 · answered by Frederique C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is always the option of adoption. There are many loving families out there that are looking for a baby to adopt and there are also as many different adoption situations.
You could have a traditional adoption or there are even some adoptions that keep the birth mother involved in their lives. Usually it is up to the birth mother to decide what kind of situation they are looking for, then adoption agencies can find a family that would be a great match. There are also choices where the adoption agency finds a home or ones where the birth mother looks through family profiles and decides which family would be best for their child.
If you go this way, you will not have the regret of abortion and it also gives you the full nine months to decide what you want to do.
Also, I would talk with your family. If you want to keep your child, they might be willing to help out so you can still achieve your dreams.
2007-03-20 08:28:57 · answer #4 · answered by Carrie M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not to say this is what you should do, but is I were in your situation, this is what I would do...
I would have the baby, stay at home with my mom for two years and attend community college. Most community colleges have on site day care centers for students to take advantage of while they are in class.
I would make SURE the father paid child support to help care for the child (or at least bought diapers/clothes/food for the baby)
I would get my Transfer AA from the community college. By then the baby would be 1 1/2 and at that point, I would transfer to a University and apply for family housing. I would work my butt off and finish my bachelors degree and take my child to the campus day care while I was in class.
It wouldn't be as fun and I would have to work a heck of a lot harder to finish school. But that is what I would choose to do.
**If you couldn't live with the decision of having an abortion (I know I couldn't) and you can't keep the baby, then I woudl suggest adoption.
2007-03-20 09:07:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would never judge anyone in this situation because it is not my place nor anyone else's. I will just tell you this....At nine weeks of pregnancy, the embryo is more human-looking, about 1 and a quarter inches long from head to butt and weighs about 1/3 ounce. IT HAS A BEATING HEART, and arms and legs with the beginning of fingers and toes. I have 2 children and pregnant with my 3rd. I have a very suportive husband but have had to put my dreams of being a nurse on hold. I have been accepted to Nursing school not once but twice. Both times I had to not accept my place because of my kids. I'm sure I will regret that at times but I would not give back my kids. I love my kids and will put my dreams on hold for a while in order to be with my kids. I know that my going to school will better my family but the timing right now is not good. So it is your choice to keep the baby or not. I just know that it's not the baby's fault and it didn't choose this so you really need to think about that. Adoption is always an option and there are several ways you can go about it. Please think about your options before you jump into anything. And as far as your b/f goes, there are no guarantees that any father is going to be there for the wife and kids so don't worry about him right now. Just you and the baby. Good Luck with your decision.
2007-03-20 08:42:28 · answer #6 · answered by r_u_kidding 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Girl i have been in a similar situation..follow your heart do you really want to have a baby because that is a big responsibility. If your boyfreind isnt going to help you but he got you knocked up and you are trying to go to college than that is so selfish of him a lot of my freinds have had babies and their young and their boyfreinds are not around like they said they were while your pregnant then it all changes when the baby comes out. I think you should take some time and think about it. My freind just got an aboriton, it's really not that bad of a thing i mean if it was a full developed baby and your killing it because you dont want it is differnt but this pregnancy isnt even half way over. you may be able to put it up for adoption but i could never do it, i couldent carry my child then see it & then give it up. but do what you feel is right. If i were you i would get an abortion unless you want to take care of your child on your own because you can do that too you do not need a man to help you but it would be nice..and hopefully your family will support whatever descion you make!!
good luck sweetie~
2007-03-20 08:37:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If your mom and grandmother love you, as I am sure they do, then I would tell them and ask for their support in continuing your education. It is a hard deal to have a baby and go to college, but it is not impossible and it can (and is) done. If they can have them watch your child while you attend class and get your work done. In exchange your family will have the satisfaction of seeing their grandbaby and knowing that you accomplished your dreams. Don't feel pressed to have an abortion. Another option is adoption. You allow the baby to live and you don't have to put your dreams on hold. Maybe you could even have your family take temporary custody of the baby until you are through with college if that is something you are comfortable with. Best of luck and I will pray for you.
2007-03-20 08:48:00 · answer #8 · answered by d4cav_dragoons_wife84 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you need to do is talk to somebody; if you aren't comfortable speaking with your mom or grandma, there are counselors who can help you explore your options. From your description of your boyfriend, it doesn't sound like you can count on him to help (although if you decide to keep the baby, he will be required to pay child support). As others have said, abortion and adoption are both alternatives. I know a girl in a similar circumstance and I believe she ended up going to school close to home so she has her mom's help with the baby.
You should probably talk to your mom about this. She'll be upset, of course, but she can also help you to make the right decision.
I won't answer the "what will you do" question for two reasons: I'm strongly against abortion (but recognize that not everyone holds my views) and this isn't a question that has one answer that applies to everyone; it depends on your personal situation and values.
2007-03-20 08:38:21 · answer #9 · answered by William S 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry that you have such a terrible delema. I am also sorry, but I do not know what I would do in your situation, because I have never been there, and I can not tell you what the right choice is because it is a personal one. What I would encourage you to do is some real soul searching. If you are a religous person, pray, speach to your clergy. Is it at all possible to keep the baby and go to school either at that university or possibly one closer to home so you could get some help form mom and grandma. I know its hard, but you should tell them too. See if they are willing to help you out. Whatever you decide, don't rush into the desicion and DO NOT make this desicion for anyone but yourself. Not because you feel like you are letting anyone down or anything like that. You and you alone have to live with the choice you make.
2007-03-20 08:31:49 · answer #10 · answered by I love sushi 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm was in a similar situation a few months ago. I'm 20 years old, I got pregnant with my boyfriend of a year and in college and didnt know what to do. He was pushing towards terminating the pregnancy but I knew I would regret it all my life so after alot of considering, we made the decision to get married and have our baby (who is due this july).
I start nursing school this fall, only 6 weeks after I'm due. It's going to be hard and no, its not convienant for me at this time in my life, but I dont see any other option for me. I come from an extremely religious family so it made my decision a little bit harder knowing what they are thining of me. But honestly its up to only you and your boyfriend. If you really cant envision your life with a baby then consider adoption. You wont have the guilt of an abortion and people who adopt really want children so you know it will be in a loving enviornment. My now husband loves our baby so much and wouldn't want it any other way.
2007-03-20 09:48:16 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋