how much affect am i really having on sons life?

Question

i wonder how much affect i really have on my son's life. he is 5 and in school he comes here every other weekend. i happen to work all weekends and my schedule cant be changed as i am in law enforcement. i do pay child support and its about 800 amonth so i know he is taken care of finacially. in onpnion your onpnion do you think any affect of a father is really being noticed by the child. 4 example if the father said to the mother just take care of the child laeve out my visitation how much is the father really being missed . i really think not much at all . just curious what everone else thinks

first of all yes i am in law enforecement i know the effects of lack of afthers thats not what i am saying. i myself grew up without a father and had avery very good childhood all iam asking if a father like myself who really does not really have ahand on raising my son due to mother inability to compromise and i refuse to fight for something as simple a s being a father to my son would he really miss a father. i never lived with him and to be honest i dont remeber anything about being 5 lol . so how much neg or pos affect am i havng on him . i could understand if i ever lived with him but thats not the case here

something else you answers should know i been working 7 days a week due to shortage of officers in my department. and for the guy and anyone else who does not respect my job i dont say nothing to the ones who choose not to work so dont judge what i do 4 a living

Answer 1

Maybe you could find a way to have him during the week for the two day visit. if he is 5 his school doesn't take up much of the day and after that you would be able to spend quality time together
I would not recommend not any visit at all. this is a 5 yr old and when a child loses a parent at that age it would take a toll on his life . at least he knows where you are when he is at your home. he knows your working. but to not go and get him at all would devastate him

Answer 2

Don't belittle how much you mean to your son. At 5 all he wants is to know that you love him and that he's safe with you.
Spend what ever time that you have with him. It will mean more to him than you know. Also on your days off during the week, speak with his mother about picking him up from school and spending time with him take to the park or help with his homework.

Call him everyday even if it's just a 2 minute phone call. Do everything you can . You are already his father, work on being his daddy and never buy into the B. S that fathers don't matter.

Answer 3

Whoa man.............There is sooooo much that your child is missing out on by not having two parents in the household. Your child (especially a little boy) needs his father to show him how to be a man. In this day and age, that starts very young. I don't care what anyone says: Nobody can show a boy how to be a man like a MAN. There is no substitute for a father figure in the home. Your son needs you to a lasting presence in his life. If you and his mother take weeks (on and off) that is fine. I am not saying that you and his mother should be together but you need to be there to support him and to support her in parenting.

I work with kids who have behavior problems and emotional dysfunctions and disabilities. The majority of my kids don't have a father figure at all, don't know their father, or have fathers who are incarcerated. and most of them are Black boys. Any more questions?

You should know this man, aren't you in law enforcement?

Answer 4

Do you remember when you were 5? You may not remember everything, but you probably remember whether or not you were loved, or if anyone cared for you or not. What you're giving your son is knowledge regarding what a father does, so that when he is a father, he will know how to do it. It doesn't matter if it's every other weekend or every night, a man gives different things to his children than a woman can. You *are* making a difference, even if it's difficult to see right now!

Answer 5

You get him every other weekend only? Thats not good time - so when you do spend time with him, you have to make sure its good quality time. You should also call him daily - just to ask him how his day was or to say goodnite. Father's that are not in there childs life can be missed, hated, forgotten, or resented. Fathers that are in there childs life (even in separate households) have input in a positive way on there childs life...even if it seems like it doesnt. ALWAYS listen to your child and offer support . Make him feel like you care. He can have 20 dads in a lifetime but YOUR his father. G'luck!

Answer 6

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Answer 7

You are his father, his role model, especially at such an impressionable age! Regardless of the time you have together! I can't believe that question would even be asked!
It sounds like your son is nothing but a nuisance to you. If that's the case you don't deserve him, and he'd be better off without you anyway.

Answer 8

I think that will affect the child....Especially a boy.....I have three young boys and I am divorce. My ex husband is a Police Officer as well and he doesn't see the children as he used to. This very much affects them because I know they miss him alot. Money isn't everything. It doesn't replace a parent or love or affection, or even time.
I know its hard but you should try to be there when you can..It may not look as if it may be affecting him but it is. If you can serve and protect, you should start with your "OWN CHILDREN" In your case, "SON".............

Answer 9

What days do you get off...Maybe you can pick him up from school on those days, and just take him to dinner and drop him off at school in the morning. More time together rather than having him be at home while your at work. And it may be more work for you, but you son will remember it more than you just paying. ( the kids never see the money, but they see you)

Answer 10

as a father myself and spending 5 yrs away from my oldest son serving in va you may be suprised on what your son picks up on about you and what yhey remember. I felt the same way but after a little thought I see that I was wrong. hang in there and you may have the luck as me.