My ex-husband does not love his wife. He only married her to have someone to help take care of our children and him. He is still in love w/ me & when he comes to visit it as if we are still married. Should I tell her? And if so, how?
2007-03-20 07:57:13 · 44 answers · asked by confused1211 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
yes tell her but give her proof. she probably won't believe you
2007-03-20 08:00:00 · answer #1 · answered by Carly 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Why ask us if we think you should tell her? Think of it this way....How would you feel if your husband was cheating on you with his ex wife and still loved her and basically used her to help with the kids?? I bet you would be pissed i sure as hell would, i would be more hurt than anything, and i'd rather his ex wife tell me then to think this man loved me and would never do this you know..
That would be the proper thing to do and your doing her a big favor, she obviously did nothing to deserve this from him..
Might i ask why your even doing things with him if you know he is married to another woman no matter the circumstances? I mean c'mon woman this is wrong, You know how much this is going to hurt her? I mean she has helped him take care of your kids ect and by paying her back you guys are having an affair behind her back!
Please do the right thing and tell her no matter how much it will hurt, not telling her is going to hurt her even more and if she doesn't believe you then oh well at least you tried, right?
2007-03-20 08:52:56 · answer #2 · answered by Kasja 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you shouldn't tell her. You know why? Because you think that if you tell her that your husband will come back to you and this will get her out of the picture. If you really cared about her, you would have told her that your husband still had feelings for you before she got married to him and you would have NEVER slept with him. This is about you. You are correct that your ex does not love his wife, but he doesn't love you either. Don't you find it funny that your ex can all of the sudden shows you the attention that you wanted, but still goes back to live with his wife. And don't tell me that he's not sleeping with her because we both know that he is.
You want to let her know how her husband feels about you, here's what you do: Tell your ex that he needs to tell his wife that he is still in love with you and that he doesn't want to be with her anymore. If he does it, then you know that he does still love you and I am wrong. If he is not willing to do that, but still wants to sleep with you, then you know that this has nothing to do with love.
2007-03-20 08:11:54 · answer #3 · answered by writeroftheyear1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound confused.
You are obviously the ex-wife for a reason.
He is cheating on his current wife, but at the same time you are being used as well.
What benefits are you getting by sleeping with him?
Do you want him back?
It sounds like you should back off and get someone of your own. You could be putting yourself in a dangerous situation if the new wife find out what is going on.
2007-03-20 08:01:44 · answer #4 · answered by Ms Brown Eyez 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
YES!! Tell her immediately, and be able to prove it because he will likely deny it. And why did you two divorce if you're still in love? Maybe he is playing you too! Perhaps he isn't getting enough sex from his new wife and is telling you he doesn't love her and loves you for the sex?? Better do some heavy thinking on that one while you're calling his wife!
I'm only sayig this because I am married to a man who is divorced and has 4 kids that I care for when they are over and I would want to know right away so I could kick his azz out to the corner with the trash! But I know my husband wouldn't touch his ex with a ten foot pole!! he can't stand her....but good luck with whatever you decide.
2007-03-20 08:06:53 · answer #5 · answered by Incognito 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You and your ex are a prime example of everything that is wrong with our society.
Your deception is deplorable. it is even more disturbing that you are flaunting the fact that you have the morals of an alley cat and posing this question as though you are on the moral high ground. You have no rights in this case. You are disgusting and I only hope that SHE is raising your kids in the way that YOU will never be able to.
You should do the decent thing and tell her that your husband and you are both scumbags. Then you should put your pants back on and get therapy to address your need to degrade yourself in this manner. Hopefully, with professional help, you will not end up influencing your children to live lives as messed up as yours.
This question is nauseating.
2007-03-20 08:39:46 · answer #6 · answered by mufflerbearings1967 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell him, not her! Explain to him that your relationship is over, and there is a reason for that. He should not come to your house to visit, as he should have visitation with the children in HIS home. Why he married her is none of your business. Be clear to him that there is no future between you as long as he is married.....just because you are his ex doesn't give you immunity from being the "other woman", nor does it give you the right to be involved in any of his relationships.
2007-03-20 08:33:15 · answer #7 · answered by Tangled Web 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mind your own business and let it go. What good are you going to get out of this by telling his wife about your affair. You are being used and I guess you think it is cute that you are hurting the new wife. What is it - since you don't have him you don't anyone else to have him. Your ex is your ex for a reason. Get on with you life and stop back tracking.
2007-03-20 08:36:10 · answer #8 · answered by like it is 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
here's an idea. Stop being a whore and realize why you guys got divorced. There was definitely a reason why (as with most divorces). Respect his marriage (no matter WHY you think they are married) and have enough respect for your kids to not have them involved in this roller-coaster of a whore-show you have going on. Let it go........... or at least have enough respect for yourself, his marriage, ya'lls kids, to wait until he divorces her to come back to you, and not screw him while he's married to someone else. You sound like someone who was not happy with him, so ya'll got divorced, now you are jealous of the new wife, so you are probably coming onto him to make yourself feel better about him marrying someone else.
Grow up, and realize you are an adult and you have children to take care of, and get a life.
2007-03-20 08:07:33 · answer #9 · answered by it'sjustme79 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You seem to be so sure as to what your ex-husband is thinking and feeling. You should remain open to the possibility that you are wrong. He seems to be man with the plan who is playing you both. Clever guy!! Consider what you are trying to accomplish by 1) continuing to have a physical relationship with him and 2) wanting to disclose the same to his wife. Has he even made an effort to reconcile with you?! I'd bet the same problems he had when you left him remain.
2007-03-20 08:01:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
first im not going to totally make u feel like an asshole because i know what u mean. i was still sexually involved with my ex when he was with his girlfriend but i never thought about telling her. There is no need, if u two love each other y arent u two together.....he loves u right. what u need to do is leave him alone all together because he is playing both of u. he is using her finiacially and u sexually. if he lovd u so much y isnt he with u. if he loved u then he wouldnt need her, u could b together and take care of ur own kids. no dont say nothin to her, let him, tell him that he has to choose.
2007-03-20 08:05:21 · answer #11 · answered by Rygirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋