He is hanging out with the same kids he got in trouble with. The first offense was stealing gas, so to pay those fines he had to sell his car. The second offense was under age drinking and pot, mind you he was still on probation from the first time when this happened. More fines plus community service and drug and alcahol classes, all completed. He has turned 18 and is off of probation, no job just hanging out. I'm afraid he will do something dumb again. He is on a probationary status to go to college this fall but he has to have good attendance and improve his grade to a C average.
2007-03-20 07:43:40 · 7 answers · asked by lkgardner64 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
o man, a whole lot of trouble huh?...well, im 18 as well, and have gotten my share of trouble and probation. it all really depends on your son if he wants to grow up and be a better person or not. Truthfully, it all depends on him, you cant do much about it. But dont always yell at him when he does somthing wrong, but be patient and not to strict, tell him to try and get a job and work to help pay for bills around the house or to pay for his own cell phone bill if he has one. 18 yrs old, try to treat him like an adult. ALso, you cant keep him away from his frends, trust me, there'll always be there no matter what. RIght now, he's probably just in his "having fun" stage. so it's just a phase that they go through, until they start realizing that things change. but goodluck with your kid, just be patient and dont stress him too much.
and sorry if it sounds like im telling you how to raise your kid, although im only 18 myself.
2007-03-20 09:58:14 · answer #1 · answered by onepowerbboy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Possibly a written agreement and an open honest conversation with your son will help. Let him know you're going to start with a clean slate, and this will help reinforce the idea.
He now has your trust and he must work at keeping it or there will be your own consequences and laws he will have to deal with. Remind him you want what is best for him and he can now have a new start at becoming independent and his priorities need to get in order.
Have him do some volunteer work (start of small just an 1 hr a few days a week and build up from there) encourage the fact that the volunteer work will possibly lead to a salaried job, with the experience and the value of making a change to get and stay on the right path. Any future employer will take him more seriously when the time comes.
You can have the volunteer work written into your contract agreement....
Good luck to you both.
2007-03-20 15:06:36 · answer #2 · answered by Joy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I've been there myself with my boy. Right now, since he is 18 it's not really your concern. There's not much you can do about it now because he's an adult. You should have intervened when he was still a minor, if you didn't. I did but it didn't help. I don't know if you did or not. I don't know what to tell you because mine's 21 now and is still in trouble. Trust is something that is earned it should not be given away freely. If he improves his life you will grow to trust him again. It just make take time.
2007-03-20 15:17:45 · answer #3 · answered by musicpanther67 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm 18, I live at home, and I can tell you that what my parents do works. I can't afford to live on my own yet (car payments, school tuition, etc...) and so if I were to do something like steal gas, the first thing my parents would do is ground me. I know this sounds very juvinille, but there is nothing worse in the world than having to explain to my friends that i've been grounded! He may be 18, but he's still in your house. Your house, your rules.
2007-03-20 15:14:48 · answer #4 · answered by kasi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You chould tell him he needs to get a job and if that doesnt work threatin to kick him out of the house if he isnt already and show what the real world is like, if he doesnt get a job now he will be depending on you for the rest of their life
2007-03-20 14:51:18 · answer #5 · answered by Tinkerbell1932 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it seems to me that you have your hands full. but at 18 , he is old enough to know better and should of learned by the mistakes he has made. next time he gets in trouble, don't bail him out. let him fend for himself. do not give him money tell him he has to find a job. I know that he is your son, and you love him, but as long as you keep bailing him out of the trouble he gets in, he is not going to change . stand firm . and tell him when you see that he is trying to change his ways than you will help but until that happens don't. good luck.
2007-03-20 14:50:47 · answer #6 · answered by misty blue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he were my son, i'd say, "you're 18 now and you're on your own"...it seems cruel, but the best way for someone to learn how hard the consequences to their actions are, is for them to face them alone...with mommy and daddy coming to the rescue (sure, u may have made him pay $$ for it but u still welcomed him into your home again...) he'll not feel the true pressure to straighten up...
2007-03-20 14:50:28 · answer #7 · answered by tiger_lover124 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋