How do build my trust in him (my long-term boyfriend) again? I've caught him looking for other chicks online and he uses the excuse that me yelling and him over stuff is the reason why. But what I don't understand, the last 4 times I've caught him, he tells me the same day that he loves me knowing he did it. We've been fighting about this for quite a while and just had a big argument that lasted a week and just ended. We said our sorries and I know that when he told me he was sorry and wouldn't do it again, he meant it, but it's hard for me to believe. How do I rebuild my trust in him again? I have no idea where to begin or anything. I think about it constantly and can't get it off my mind. I know I need to change my attitude, but there's a long story behind why I act the way I do. I feel like I always have to have a defense up. How do I mend this relationship or how can we both mend this relationship? It's tearing me up emotionally, physically, and mentally.
2007-03-20 07:42:47 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I don't want to break up with him. So, please don't give me that answer. I'm trying to save this relationship. He means the world to me.
2007-03-20 07:44:31 · update #1
Omugosh, u 2 shuld totally go to jamba juice! lyke the juice is so good yu'll be SUPER JAZZED! like...buy a jamba or sumptin'. love your hairrr! your avatar makes me SUPA DUPA JAZZED!
2007-03-20 07:46:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I understand you believe you have a problem. I would like to address the very foundation of your belief.
When I married 35 years my wife got jealous because my eyes sometimes wandered. My hands and other body parts never did, have or will. I told her I intended to look until I was dead and when I stopped looking to shovel the dirt in the hole because at that point I would be dead.
My question is, do you really have a problem or are you trying to force a man into a mold he won't fit into?
This is not meant to beat you up. Don't misunderstand, I am not saying you have a problem only that you might want to take a look at the situation from a different perspective.
Do remember, trust is like love, you either have it or you don't. To trust a person half way is to not trust them at all. I suppose it is like being half dead or half pregnant, trust doesn't come in pieces or percentages.
Good luck.
2007-03-20 15:02:38 · answer #2 · answered by gimpalomg 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, you can't force a man to love you. You're clinging for an unhealthy reason. If a man really cares about you, you're the only one he notices in a room full of people. The fact that he's looking at other women, or looking for them is a signal you have to accept. If you force him eventually he will hate you and you'll be in bigger trouble. Don't look for an answer that you want to hear. Look for the truth and get the courage to live it.
2007-03-20 15:02:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you don't want to break up here are some suggestions about staying together.
1-Whose computer is it? If it's yours you can close him out of it. If he's sincere he shouldn't be bothered by it.
2-Couples' counciling. It might help you communicate and work through your differences. My parents did that and it worked very well for him.
Good luck.
2007-03-20 14:54:06 · answer #4 · answered by ambr95012 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some beards like to fly away but in the end they have only one nest so i think you are that nest if it is only on line chating so don't worry but if he meet them this will be the problem some times men like to feel free so don't capt him this will cost you nothing and don't ever give up your true love it is your fight
2007-03-20 14:53:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't. get rid of the dude.
2007-03-20 14:53:56 · answer #6 · answered by J 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋