My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. We've had rocky moments, and it looks like we're on our last. But I can't let it end.
What can I do to keep the spark? To save our relationship? He is open to counseling, but where can I find good helpful counseling for cheap? And any ideas on how not to be jealous of the time he spends away from me?
I just don't know how to live without him, and I don't want to find out how.
2007-03-20 07:34:14 · 8 answers · asked by V 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have made an appointment to see someone tomorrow to discuss myself.
Does anyone know what else gets covered in counseling? Or is there anything else?
2007-03-20 14:14:24 · update #1
As far as counseling, you won't find anything cheap about it. You won't get your answers in just one or two sessions. It takes sometimes weeks to actually make any progress using counseling. Counseling is no more than listing your problems and assigning each of you a plan of action to resolve each of them. If you have common sense, you can list your problems and the solution for each. The effort and follow through on the solution by both of you is the key to getting your relationship back on track. You both went to school so it's no different than solving a problem back then.
Each of you sit down alone and list the good and bad things in your relationship and about each other. Also list what you expect from each other. This takes a concentrated effort from you both(don't just list "he makes me mad sometimes" that is not detailed enough!). Pick a time when you both are rested and relaxed and sit down to discuss one or two of the major items on each of your lists. Don't try to resolve everything in one night - you will fail miserably. After discussing(not arguing) the items come up with what effort each of you will try to improve in to resolve these four problems on both of your lists and give yourselves a week to see improvement. after that week sit down and list what you did and/or didn't see in each others actions and sit down for another discussion. You keep doing that for each problem and in time things will improve. It all comes down to communication and affirmative action. This is exactly what you would do with a counselor without paying for it. Now do you understand why you be seeing one for awhile? Resolving a problem takes time and commitment just as anything else in a relationship. Just remember, there is no such thing as a quick fix.
2007-03-20 08:04:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have health insurance your health insurance provider can recommend a marriage/couples counselor. If not, contact your local health department and ask for the mental health division (marriage counseling falls under this division). You can also talk to the pastor of your local church or the Catholic Church often has counseling services. In order to revive your relationship you both must know that any relationship is hard work and will die if you let it. Put notes in your b/f jacket pocket or his lunch bag (say "I miss you" "I love you" I need you" or "kisses" anything simple and sweet). Give him a hot oil massage (warm baby oil on the stove or in the microwave) or massage his feet at night while you two are watching tv. Ask him to go for a walk after dinner and hold hands and walk without talking or snuggle into his shoulder while walking. Find a place near your house that you can go park and watch the sun set (bring some drinks and cheese for a snack). Good luck and God Bless.
2007-03-20 07:43:39 · answer #2 · answered by tersey562 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it seems that you are the one with the problem not him. this is a problem you brought into the relationship. you should be the one looking for personal help if you are that jealous that is causing your relationship to end. if you can't stand the fact he has to do things by himself, than you better find someone who's willing to be controled by you. First, you should admit that your insecurities are the ones that cause your jealousy and then visit a psychologist or go to a church and find a group for support. if your bf sees you are trying hard, if he really loves you, then he is going to show support and things will get better.
2007-03-20 07:47:25 · answer #3 · answered by chikis 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are clearly having some confidence issues. Why are you so afraid when he is away from you? Has he done something to make you distrust him? If he has not, then you need get yourself together woman! Your putting too much focus on him, and if you do not change it then you will be very unhappy. Love yourself and never settle for anything but respect (you have to reciprocate). If it is anything but respectful then you have to toughen up and move on. Good luck!
2007-03-20 07:48:14 · answer #4 · answered by dry2th 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, if its been three years and he still has not proposed you have to say goodbye. Maybe he will come back. If he does, say the only way we can be together is if we get married. If he doesn't come back you have to get that soultie broken. A soultie is formed if you have sex with someone. You need to go to a Pentecostal preacher and have it broken and you need to just accept the breakup and then you will be able to move on.
2007-03-20 07:54:31 · answer #5 · answered by Kendra H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-19 09:51:09 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes being apart brings you closer together...i hope you understand that. i was with my husband for five yrs before we got married we actually broke up for a almost a year then we both reliazed we wanted to be together we've been married for two years now it's great ...the time we spent apart(which wasn't easy) did us both alot of good...good luck!
2007-03-20 07:45:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
As far as being jealous when hes away...... Be happy when he has an opportunity to go do something he enjoys, isnt that what love is, wanting your partner to be happy?
2007-03-20 07:41:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋