Lets just say the boyf is addicted to something he shouldn't be, its been ongoing lies from him, and now he's trying to preach that i'm a liar. Says i'm cheating on him, etc etc. And last night for some unknown reason, i blantantly lied, knowing he knew i was lying. Now he says he doesn't trust me and i have to earn it back. HELLO - what about the years of your lies and mistrust! I think i subconciously just lied to prove him right cos i've had enough. What happens next?
2007-03-20 07:23:29 · 23 answers · asked by raptureinkisses 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Addiction makes people do some seriously ****ed up stuff. Lying is usually #1 on the list. #2 is taking any responsibility, blame or attention off of themselves and onto everyone else; especially those who are close: girlfriends, boyfriends, family, spouse. Doesn't matter. More than a few times, I have had people screaming in my face, accusing me of: you name it. It can reach totally outrageous, ridiculous proportions, not to mention how enraging it can be.
It helps to have an understanding of addiction. If you love this guy and you are serious, look into what addiction means and what it does to people's lives. Not just the addict's, but those around the addict. Information (and support) is power. I'm not going to push any one "group" to look into or go to; however they are out there if you look. With this info/support you can be more clear to make a decision.
What does NOT help is game playing and perpetuating the situation by purposely lying to him...you are only fueling the fire and getting nowhere fast. His addiction is not about to let him see his years of lies and mistrust. He's blinded.
If you're not so serious about him, this may seem cold but it might be best to get away as soon as you can. This has the potential of getting very ugly and painful for you.
Aside from your confusion and frustration, I can't tell where you stand w/him. Regardless, either choice will be very difficult. Sending positive thoughts your way...take care of yourself.
2007-03-20 07:42:02 · answer #1 · answered by Maudie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-07 17:29:25 · answer #2 · answered by Melisa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all get in messy situations at times but it's how we deal with them which is the important thing. Allowing him to lie to you for years is not good and has obviously taken it's toll on your self respect. However, telling a lie which he knows is a lie sounds more like you're scoring points off him. It's kind of a bad path to go down - playing games and scoring points of each other. I think you're a better person than that.
Confront him about his addiction, every time he tries to change the subject, tell him not to change the subject. Get the truth out of him calmly and know that you have the power in this situation.
If you get in to lying to him you'll just be feeding him ammunition for later arguments and causing them too. Getting revenge will be more harmful psychologically to you.
2007-03-20 09:34:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next??? Swettie dont worry about next you need to realize what is going on now. Well i am not sure if he is addicted to drugs or porn or what ever and i dont need to know either but what i want you to understand is that a relationship is never going to work if one of the people is not stable with themselfs. What you need to do is let him get his life together and then see what you can do about your problems together. I know that is so much easier said then done but trust me if you just stay where you are all you will do is waste you life.
Hope i helped...Caroline
2007-03-20 07:31:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You two need to sit down and have a mighty forthright conversation, clear the air, fess up and decide where to go from here. As with any addiction, look for avenues to assist in overcoming the addiction. You are right, it does sound as if you lied on purpose, but that doesn't make it right. Good luck and God Bless.
2007-03-20 07:29:37 · answer #5 · answered by tersey562 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
YOU FIND SUMONE BETTER!!
becuase you deserve better than that... even tough if your the type that stays wit a ***** because you "love him" ....he is obviously not into the whole relationship as much as you are.. and you dont need to stay with sumone like that... tell him how you feel and that he has no right of accusing you ...like he does.. then see if he is willing to change if he dont then obviously you can move on and do so much better..just try he'll come to you sooner or later.. and thats going to make you feel better about your decision makin
2007-03-20 07:59:18 · answer #6 · answered by iiSABEL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you will never have an easy life with someone who is a drug addict, sorry. Do you really need the problems? I cannot be sympathetic to him since drugs are self-inflicted, and give you more problems than solutions, and addiction is something he created for himself. He didn't think about your needs and wants in this, and now you're on the receiving end of his problems.
Move on, you really do deserve better than someone who's out to ruin his life and try to ruin yours in the process.
2007-03-20 07:58:55 · answer #7 · answered by gorgeousfluffpot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are trying to give him a reason to get rid of you. You know, so you dont have to be the bad guy. Happens all the time. I'ld be worried about the drug abuse, and not the lies.
2007-03-20 07:29:55 · answer #8 · answered by longbeachczar115 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What happens next is you two go your separate ways and grow up. Relationships are based on trust and honesty as well as faithfulness and intimacy. Sounds like you have none of the above. Find someone who is like you, like you for you, doesn't lie and treats you well.
2007-03-20 07:28:29 · answer #9 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me like he's dragging you down & trying to screw your head up... why would you let him do that? just put your hands up & say: "Know what? I've had enough! Either that stuff, or me. Your choice. Which is it going to be?" When you know he's lying- don't listen- just go in the opposite direction! To save yourself & your sanity!
2007-03-20 07:55:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋