She hasn't had much of a libido since our child was born a year and a half ago. So I try and add more foreplay and stuff to help her get in the mood, but when I start to go down, she stops me. She'll give me an excuse like; (I only like that right after a shower, or I don't feel like it, or just say I don't know)
Ladies, what changed, she liked it before?
2007-03-20 07:09:13 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, she doesn't smell (never has) and I wouldn't know, but it's been 18 months or so since she had the baby. I would think everything should be back to normal, I mean physically.
Oh, and she's back to her pre- pregnancy weight.
2007-03-20 07:23:34 · update #1
Sometimes things change after children. She may be tired or she may not feel as sexy as before. If she only likes it after a shower then give it to her after she showers.
2007-03-20 07:14:02 · answer #1 · answered by Inez 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm, I don't know what changed. It seems it would be for her pleasure...
I think you need to pick the right time to talk to her about it. Not in bed! Is it possible that she is just too tired most of the time? Do you pitch in and help? Is there something she is unhappy about?
A very likely possibility is post-partum depression, which has absolutely no roots in either your or her intentions or behaviour. It's just an hormonal wild ride. It is not a myth, it CAN be seriously debilitating, and it is treatable. Look it up on the web and see if it sounds like it might be the problem.
Also, some men and women find their sexual needs and preferences change somewhat after the birth of a baby; sometimes it is a temporary thing.
Let her know you are concerned for her and want to help in any way possible. That is intimacy of another sort and may open the way to discussion, understanding and hopefully a solution for both of you.
2007-03-20 14:34:04 · answer #2 · answered by and_y_knot 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a shower with her and get her in the mood for this lol. Maybe she is a little self conciense now that she has had a child. She may have to learn to be comfortable with it again. She used to like it yes but sometimes we all change and maybe she is uncomfortable with it now because she may not be happy with her own body after having the baby... Have you asked her why she feels this way now? Try going there with low lights or no lights on and see if she is more comfortable this way.
2007-03-20 14:21:17 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't force the issue, she's probably overwhelmed physically and emotionally with the responsibility of being a mother. She may subconsciously be thinking that she has to stay alert in case your child needs her. She may fear that surrendering herself to sexual ecstasy may distract from her duties as a mother.
If you have the means, leave the child with a trusted caregiver and go out for a romantic evening followed by an overnight stay at a nice motel. A change of atmosphere usually helps women to relax more. If you can't afford a motel room, make arrangements for the child to stay overnight at the caregiver's home so you two can have your home alll to yourselves for a night.
2007-03-20 14:22:09 · answer #4 · answered by susandiane311 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is probably scared that it may smell since she is spending more time running after a one and a half year old then before. I am the same way with my husband. I don't want him to go down on me unless I know it is clean.
2007-03-20 14:21:09 · answer #5 · answered by Debbie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did she have an episiotomy? I know with my 2nd son I had one.....a big one, he was over 9lbs!! I didn't want anyone going 'downtown' for a long time. It took a while but once I felt comfortable again it was all good again =) And thankfully my husband loves traveling!! lol
Talk to her about it, be open, honest, and tell her how you feel. Make sure you listen to her and reassure her. Could be she is tired or her hormones may be out of whack. Talk!!!
Good luck to you!
2007-03-20 14:31:03 · answer #6 · answered by Incognito 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm a man but I'll answer anyway. Some women lose it after they have a child. Probably she is not too confident about down there anymore. Try to reassure her. I enjoy it immensely, but have always felt that if she is not confident about it, that means she knows more than me, why.
2007-03-20 14:23:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anthony F 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is not much happening downtown at night. All of the shops and restaurants cater to the lunch crowds. So you might want to try going downtown during the day.....
2007-03-20 14:14:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
She may still be super sensitive down there and it could actually be painful. Just ask her. She could also have a problem with leaking urine since having a child and that may make her insecure.
2007-03-20 14:14:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Has she put on some weight? Maybe she is insecure about her body right now. You need to tell her how beautiful you think she is. Give her compliments, help her to get it back.
2007-03-20 14:16:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋