Our marriage is going on two years now, and I love her so much. But I am having a problem just thinking about pen s. I am not gay I know I am mostly straight, I know for sure I LOVE my wife, but I still think about men and their manhood. I haven't acted any fantisies or anything like that but I do prefer to look at a "Playgirl" rather that a "Playboy." What is wrong with me and how can I LOVE my wife 100% all the time?
2007-03-20 07:05:28 · 10 answers · asked by sir_ninjarafiki 3 in Health ➔ Men's Health
You are probably just curious and questioning yourself. Everyone does it and it's perfectly normal. If you aren't gay than you aren't gay, so you are fine. Don't really worry about it, unless you get to the point where you are thinking about guys during sex with your wife, than you might be gay. So just really evaluate your thoughts and you should be fine. Good luck!
2007-03-20 07:52:20 · answer #1 · answered by Jyse 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The honest answer is that you could honestly be bisexual. However, the constant thoughts as well as your statement about prefering to look at a Playgirl rather than a Playboy proves that you may be leaning more towards men. Sounds like you want to have your cake and eat it too. You love and feel comfortable with your wife and like the security it provides. Yet you like the fact that you can secretly desire men without 1) others know it, and 2) it making you gay. Sounds like you know something already but denial and societies negative protrayal of homosexuality have forced the realization deep within your subconcious, which it in turns manifests itself as constant thoughts and fantasties envolving men and more specifically their manhood.
Honestly you need to sit down and think about things and hopefully self-realization will follow. I would recommend thinking about: 1) what attracted you to your wife in the first place, 2) have you always been more attracted to men than women, 3) Are the thoughts you are having purely sexual? 4) Communication is essential, now this is the tough part, you love your wife obviously and do not want to see her hurt. However if you do in fact want your cake and eat it too, communication is the key. I'm not saying she will be able to accept it or not be hurt, chances are she's not going to accept it and be hurt deeply, but realize that the pain she would have by finding out that you lied or covered it up, especially if something were to be happen with a man would cause her to be hurt exponentially. I wish you the best...
2007-03-20 07:23:28 · answer #2 · answered by jay k 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well what you are experiencing is normal. Most guys go through a period in their lives that they have doubts about their manhood and if they are gay or not, each person differs with age so this will not happen to all men at the same age.
You can truly love your wife and still have these questions going threw your mind creating doubt and confusion.
Alot of men would never admit to this and acknowledge this, let alone ask it in yahoo, making it public, but the facts are most guys go through this, sometimes they will experiment with another male and have a homosexual act, some ignore these tendacies. If they do have a female partner (wife, etc) it does not mean that they can not love them.
Some times these feelings go away sometimes they do not, and then you become haunted with confusion and doubts about yourself.
If you decide to experiment with same sex activities then you take a chance of ruining your relationship with your wife as she probably would never understand this, basically you would be cheating on her, no matter if you act out with another man or with a female, it is sexual activities out side of the marriage.
You can continue feeling like theres someting wrong with you or you can come to terms with life, because men and women both have a time or time(s) in their life when they find themselves attracted to the same sex. Not everyone will act out on these impulses, and some turn to counselling for proffessional help.
2007-03-20 07:19:22 · answer #3 · answered by Roman S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seems like these are things you should have worked out before getting married.
You might need some counseling to help you sort this out, but what ever you decide to do, don't hurt your wife in the process.
She did not ask for this, and I believe you should have been honest with her before you married her so that she could have made a decision to be with you or not.
I am not a homophobe, but I do think that people who have
bi-sexual or homosexual tendencies, should be honest with those they get romantically and intimately involved with.
Unfortunately, you did not resolve your issues with your sexuality prior to marrying your wife, but now do the right thing and get some counseling so that you can find some answers to your questions. Eventually, your wife must be told, particularly if you determine that you are homosexual or bi-sexual.
I wish you both well.
2007-03-20 07:18:28 · answer #4 · answered by Seldom Seen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not go as for as looking at just men. However, I have asked myself that queston because I love anal sex. I have no desire to do a man, only my wife. Our society have deemed that all men must only look at women naked if you don't then something is wrong with you. I say if it does not effect your marriage, and you are not on the Down Low, and you still come home and do you wife, then you need to seek your soul for the answer to your question. Seek what is inside you, before read anymore comments.
2007-03-20 07:11:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems likely that you are bisexual. This means you are capable of loving and having a sexual relationship with men and women. It does not mean you can't choose one person to stay with. In your case, in many ways, you have the best of both worlds - you have so many more potential life-partners. But you also have a problem most people don't. People who are bisexual frequently find they can't have a completely fulfilling sex life with just one partner - whichever sex the partner is, the joys of sex with another partner of the other gender is very seductive.
Kinsey proposed a scale from 0 to 6 of human sexuality, recognizing that most people are somewhere between the two extremes (0 is completely heterosexual, 6 is completely homosexual). Few if any exist at either extreme. It is not uncommon to meet people who are around 2 or 4 on this scale - from your description, you most likely are around 3.
If you really want to stay in this relationship, you'll have to work at it. Depending on your wife, you may want to tell her that you are in fact bisexual, and then ask if she would like to join you in watching group porno videos, or find other outlets that will appeal to both sides of your sexual nature.
2007-03-20 07:22:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
loving your wife has nothing to do with what sexually attracts you. you like looking at a beautiful male body- ok. that is no reflection on your relationship. take it easy on yourself, stop worrying, and enjoy loving your wife. besides, she probably benefits from your turn-on!!!
2007-03-20 07:10:37 · answer #7 · answered by shar71vette 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you are bisexual... that actuaslly turns some women on .
If your wife is open minded you might consider joinning in !
2007-03-24 01:40:35 · answer #8 · answered by Leah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it sounds to me that your in depp sh*t! you realy should talk to your wife about your feelings OR go to a therapist! Your probaly bi...have you ever thought of that??
**GOOD LUCK** GOD BLESS**
2007-03-20 07:14:54 · answer #9 · answered by °♥BeautyQueen1192♥° 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as long as you stay completly loyal to your wife I dont see any problem.
2007-03-20 08:41:33 · answer #10 · answered by TheJesterTwist 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋