My ex-bf and I broke up 2 yrs ago after dating for 3 yrs. I had a suspicion that he was leading a double life in another town but I just couldn't prove it. We made attempts to get back together. I'd just get that feeling again that I was sharing him with someone else, so I'd call it off. That went on til last fall when I began dating someone who I'm still with and am totally happy. The ex emailed me yesterday to say hi and something in my gut told me to go looking. I found his gf's myspace page and discovered that they've been together 4 years, which means they started dating 8 mo after him and I met. They bought a house together while we were still dating. Oh the lies he told!! He begged me not to tell, kissed up, said they'd only been dating for a year, and MANY other lies. I told her. She kicked him out, and is very distraught, and now I'm wondering if I did the right thing. Him, I don't care about. But she never knew about me. The revenge is sweet but...should I have kept quiet?
2007-03-20 06:56:08 · 7 answers · asked by Sandy Sandals 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I admit anger played a large role. I think about all the holidays he said he was hunting with his father and he was with her, the Valentine's Day we celebrated on Feb 15th, how he gave me her old computer, and went home to a woman every night who is 15 yrs older than me and not very attractive, while he told me he was working a part time job to save for "our future", taking "fishing trips" with his buddies that were actually beach outings with her and their circle of friends, i wonder where he told her he was when he was with me and how explained our weekend trips and how he called me around x-mas in a rage that he found out I was dating someone....I think why should he be able to get away with that? Is he entitled to the consideration that he did not extend to me? I do admit take some delight in the fact that he had to finally face the truth, I think of her heartache and it's kind of an empty victory. But I know that I wish someone would've told me and saved me the hardship.
2007-03-20 08:48:33 · update #1
WHy? Good for you!! He's a dog obviously, and every girl has the right to know if the guy is a scumbag!!! I'm glad you did that, just like how you would want to know if the guy you're dating is doing the same dirty thing. Definetly the right thing to do. He's a loser, deserves to be alone!! you go Girl
2007-03-20 07:00:00 · answer #1 · answered by Future Mrs. Hamlet 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have stayed quiet, that would be the graceful way to handle it. As you stated, you don't care about him but now he (and even she) will always think of you as the person who ruined their happy lives together for bringing it all out in the open. Although it may have irritated you to see your suspicions were true, just think of how miserable you have contributed in making this other woman (regardless of what he did, their relationship was past that situation, and you shed light on something that had come and gone). I think it was unnecessary and selfish of you to satisfy yourself by breaking up their relationship. To me, the most important thing in life is to handle every situation the best way that you can, and you handled this situation with emotion (anger, personal satisfaction, revenge...) If he is truly a jerk and planned to continue his shenanigans, his true nature would have been uncovered eventually, and she would discover the truth with out your help.
2007-03-20 14:10:36 · answer #2 · answered by Andrea M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no u did the right thing by telling her because now she wont have to worry about him anymore. and if u didnt tell her and they were together for lets say 10 years got married and had kids...what happens when he slips up and gets cought? it would be worse then what she is going through now u know? who knows maybe u and her could get together and be friends i found that u can make some pretty good friends that way...
2007-03-20 14:02:52 · answer #3 · answered by ashley G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let by gones Beby gones.Yuo did your gut feeling. That's ok for me.
2007-03-20 14:35:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm....Coulda, woulda, shoulda. What is done is done. What you wanted to accomplish is accomplished. Do you think everyone involved is a better person for it? If so, you did the right thing. If not, you didn't.
2007-03-20 14:01:18 · answer #5 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well........ to tell you the truth... you in a really hard place right now. i know wat your going through tho. i understand. ive been through the same thing. its good that you told him cuz it means your honest. but its really bad cuz you may lose him.... and you did.... im sorry...... you'll find someone new. dont regret ANYTHING that you have done ok? any questions feel free to ask. best of luck to you..........
2007-03-20 14:03:44 · answer #6 · answered by renoiluv 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats sounds OK to me, thats not right.
2007-03-20 14:02:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋