I'm pregnant and he tells me that I'm going to make my baby stupid or retarded because I'm stupid? I'm educated and have held a job since I was 16. He just keeps calling me a b*tch and crazy...
I have enough to worry about with the baby being healthly but how do I deal with feeling like my husband likes I'm going to ruin my childs life?
2007-03-20 06:47:45 · 52 answers · asked by ERICKSMAMA 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well first CONGRATS on the baby, now for the husband, you need to get some counseling for yourself and move out until h can go to some life training but with the way he is talking to you I am afraid it is time to call it quits. Good luck.
2007-03-20 06:54:36 · answer #1 · answered by eeyore6838 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never is a woman in a more vulnerable state than when she is pregnant. Your husband is being a real asshole. Can I say that here? The only way you are garunteed to "ruin" your child's life is if you decide you can let him treat your child the same way he is treating you now. I know it's hard to think about things like this when you are pregnant, but NOW is the time to make some vital decisions about you and your baby's future... you will have enough to deal with without this kind of emotional abuse coming from someone who's supposed to love you. You may feel like you can take this from him and live with it, but, will your child be readily equipped to do the same? If he has so little respect for you, what makes you think he will have respect and be nurturing toward that baby? If I were you, I'd seek out the company of people who are emotionally supportive...right now. Do it for yourself and for your child. You both deserve better.
2007-03-20 06:56:31 · answer #2 · answered by It's Ms. Fusion if you're Nasty! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How in the world did you end up pregnant by this jerk? Ok...a little late to be asking that. Hmmmm....well, it sounds like maybe your hubby is a little overwhelmed with the whole baby thing. Maybe he is lashing out at you as a way to express his feelings of uncertainty and fear of becoming a parent. Are you guys young? Does he have a good paying and steady job? Your hubby may be dealing with issues that he doesn't know how to tell you he is dealing with. That is NO excuse for him to be talking to you like he is....but we all know how men don't talk about how they REALLY feel.
Try talking to him. See if he is harboring any fear or anger towards this pregnancy. Did he want to have a baby in the first place? Hopefully he will soften up and talk to you about some things. If he admits he really didn't want to become a family in the first place you may want to look into raising the baby on your own. A child growing up in a house with a dad that didn't want him or her is not a healthy place to be.
Blessings
2007-03-20 06:57:21 · answer #3 · answered by guatemama 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What kind of stupid jerk are you married to? You should divorce him. But I know it is hard when you are pregnant. Why is he saying things like this to you? At the least --you should go to counseling with him before the baby is born. You don't want to ruin the baby's life. Children get very confused and hurt if their father is mean to their mother. It is not an environment you want your child to grow up in.
2007-03-20 06:53:52 · answer #4 · answered by Audrey C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow girl, if you have to deal with this type of treatment now while your pregnant I can not imagine what it'll be like after the pregnancy. That is such bad emotional, verbal abuse. I guess you could say the honeymoon is definately over. Have you tried talking to him about how the way he speaks to you makes you feel? Let him know you dont like being treated as such? You need to be open and see if he will try and fix this situation. Other wise you may need to examine your other options. Emotional abuse is even worse I feel then physical abuse. Good luck to you with your pregnancy.
2007-03-20 06:52:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your husband is worried that he is not going to be a good father and is trying to bring you down to cover his
concerns. I would tell your husband that if he doesn't start treating you with some respect that you will request a divorce and he can just pay child support for the rest of his life. Also tell him if he has any concerns for the health of the baby he would stop putting added stress on you by calling you names and treating you like crap.
Congrats and Good Luck
GOD BLESS!
2007-03-20 07:00:00 · answer #6 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm.. i'd probably say stuff like "yeah, i'm so stupid. so stupid that you probably don't wanna be with me. what the **** is wrong w/ you, why'd u marry me? i'm SO STUPID why'd u marry me huh? HUH HUH?????!!!!"
i cannot handle bullsh**. he is dishing you BULLSH**. if you are really that stupid, then why is he with you? THINK ABOUT IT. he's just trying to bring u down. he wants to be in control. you cannot let him do that if he makes bad decisions and is a bad husband.
if i were u, i'd pack all of my stuff and move to my mother's. or a friend's. and tell him if he doesnt' go to counseling with you, it's over. u want a divorce. because the more he makes u feel unhappy, the more u will harm the baby. a mother's happiness is very important when she is pregnant!!!! it has to do with hormones and chemical balance and stuff, as well as physical problems that can stem from stress. can he take a class or something to learn about pregnancy, my Gosh!!!!
don't return unless he agrees to go to counseling w/ you.
good luck
2007-03-20 07:08:15 · answer #7 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hes not in his right mind, if it were me and you aren't exaggerating about his frequency of name calling I'd get out. What hes doing is out-and-out verbal and emotional abuse. Can you imagine what he could do to a young child by using those same words? Its not you who would damage your child, its him.
Get out, baby and all, some men hate the responsibility and what they see as the end of good times that a baby represents, while I wish you had found this out before the pregnancy, it is what it is and this guy is bad news.
2007-03-20 06:54:22 · answer #8 · answered by justa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's being verbally abusive. Of course, you know that the only person who is doing potential damage to your baby is HIM. By stressing you out, by upsetting you, he is compromising the health of his child.
You need to NOT let him strip down your self esteem. I have been in a verbally abusive relationship before, and if you don't set up a boundary and let him know it's not right for him to say such things, he will keep saying it. Most importantly though--even if he still says unfair and hurtful things to you and you decide to stay, do NOT start to believe those things. Do NOT begin to question yourself and wonder if there is any validity to what he is saying.
If you are intent to stay with him, and can't work out an agreement where he ceases to say such things to you, you just need to tune him out. Don't become a victim of his words.
Turn the tables.
Trust me...I know.
2007-03-20 06:52:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Either dump the loser or get a very big frying pan. Verbal and emotional abuse, more often than not, lead to physical abuse. You don't want to subject you or your baby to that. You tell your husband that either he stops with the verbal abuse, RIGHT NOW or he can come spend sometime with me. most women are given the gift of nurturing to care for their child and your concern for your unborn child's health tells me that you will be a great mother but, you need to tell your husband to back off or step off. Good Luck!
2007-03-20 06:58:04 · answer #10 · answered by dadof7n2001 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋