Married Ladies?

Question

My husband will never make the phone calls that concerns service to the house, i.e. cable disruption, phone service not working. What would happen, if I died tomorrow? Would he be able to get on the phone and solve these problems for himself? I'm beginning to wonder, since I work more than he does and he says he just doesn't have the time. Is this the way of all married men, or am I in a small minority? And if you have had this problem and resolved it, PLEASE, tell me how you did it.

Answer 1

I've been married 17yrs. & latley I've been ill-need a hysterectomy-can't get 'till july!(pre-existing) well, once I said"What would you do if I did'nt do that"in regard's to taking care of abill or something- HE said" I'd figure it out, I'm not an idiot! So, I've found we've enabled them to seem helpless in what to do!! so, I don't do it ALL anymore-he can figure it out!!Unless, it's something that will effet me & kid's, I'll fix it-His remark to me is"your better on the phone(talking to people) than I am"He STILL can't figure out how to fold clothe's!!! your deffinatly NOT alone!!! I've found on this sight, we're the majority!!!

Answer 2

There is only one way to find out what will happen. Don't make the calls yourself. When your husband complains that such and such is still not working and asks why you haven't taken care of it yet, just tell him matter of factly that you have not had time to deal with the problem. Make no explanations or excuses. Simply state that you have not had time. In the same matter of fact tone, with no blaming and no anger, suggest that if the problem is bothering him that much, perhaps he should deal with it, because your schedule is booked solid and you don't know when you might find any time to handle the problem. If he persists, simply keep gently reminding him that you are too busy, and since he's so bothered by the problem he had better find a way to deal with it. Sooner or later, as long as you remain calm (no whining, no theatrics, no excuses) and act like the mature grown up you are, he will figure out how to handle the problem himself. And if he doesn't this may give you a chance to open a dialogue with him about why he feels it is soley your responsibility to deal with home maintenance.

Answer 3

This is a very familiar problem with the majority of married women, I think. I know that my husband would not be able to cope or do anything if I wasn't here to do it. I left town a few years ago for a week of vacation, and every time he called, I knew it was for something crazy, like, how do I do this?; or when do I have to pay this?. It drove me nuts. I have to say though, after 8 years of doing it, I'm fairly used to it.
Also, every time he gets on the phone with someone, he just gets stuck. So since I'm the people person, I just handle it myself. That way I know its getting done right.

Don't worry, if its something he's worried enough about, he'll do it. And if not, well, like he looks at it, thats why he married you. And if you or I were to die tommorow, they'd wind up living either with mommy to take care of it, or they would just manage.
Good luck, and don't give up hope. :)

Answer 4

Well, my husband is very much like this. I end up making the calls that HAVE to be made. But the ones that really don't matter to me....like when our DISH SATELLITE quits working for some reason....I just let it go. (I love to read or get on Yahoo Answers! So I don't care if we have TV or not.) It drives my hubby NUTS! He'll go for a couple of days nagging me about it. Asking when I'm going to call. I just keep telling him that I have to take care of all the other stuff and this is one thing that doesn't matter to me so if he wants it done HE can do it. Eventually he does. But you'd think he was getting a ROOT CANAL!!

I also call people without regard to cost!! This has gotten him in the game a little more as well. I've had an expensive wrecker service pull his work van to his shop simply because I was tired of it taking up space in the driveway and he wouldn't move it or leave me a key. I told the driver to just take the bill into the office and they could pay! (My hubby just LOVED that one!)

I also call expensive exterminators, repair men, and have even hired a lawn service when my hubby kept putting off mowing the lawn. He came home to 2 huge lawn mowers going up and down his yard and 2 other young fellows weed eating around his trees. When he asked what it was costing him I said "You don't want to know!" He mowed the next week.

I've had to be creative....and it has cost us. But, I've managed to keep my sanity. And to be honest....just betweem me and you....it's a little fun to see his face when he sees a realtor put a FOR SALE sign in his front yard as he comes home from work because he kept putting it off and I decided enough was enough and I put the house up for sale. Those precious moments are worth the aggravation! : )

Answer 5

Some people find it very difficult to talk on the phone to strangers, even if they need things to happen. Sometimes one partner just does a better job at dealing with calls for repair people, etc. I tend to do most of the calling because I deal better with the people on the other end. And to comfort both of us, we have an agreement that I am allowed to ask him to do something once, and remind him three times. If, by the third reminder he still hasn't done it, and I do, he's not allowed to complain about it. This comforts both of us-it's something we came to after a lot of discussion and frustration with just getting things done, and it means we both know that things will get done in a timely fashion, without fighting over who should do them, or getting them done.

Answer 6

You need to set up stuff that if they do not get done the it affects only him. Like picking up drycleaning, meds for him, i do not know think here. he needs to call and make an appointment for the doc or dentist or something that is just for him. stop doing for him he realise on you too much and you do it for him or have in the past and now are stuck with a mommys boy. so what if you have no cable do not pay the bill. no phone for him just keep your cell going. not all married men are this way just the lazy ones and mommys boys.

Answer 7

No honey, it is just the opposite at my house. As a husband, I do all of those things. I maintain our home A-Z. My wife does the cooking, interior design and general housework. I handle all bills, maintenance, yard work and vehicles.

I think men that do none of these things that I do are either lazy or mentally challenged or both.

Answer 8

If you don't do it, then he will HAVE to right? He's not doing it now because he knows you will. Just don't do it. When he gets frustrated with not having cable service or phone service...trust me, he'll make the calls.

Answer 9

My husband is the same way. If it involves calling someone, reading, or writing, I have to do it. If you died tomorrow, he would have to move back in with his mom. He will never solve problems for himself.

Answer 10

I love my husband..but he's just like this too.....If I leve it up to him it's not gona get done this month...maybe this year.
Another thing is how they just can't seem to find anything.
I asked him to go to the car for my glasses...he looked and looked and looked...said they were not there. So I searched the whole house...no where...I went bak out to the car....hmmmmmm there they were...right on the front seat.
Men....love them...thats all we can do....love them and there inability to look, hear, make phone calls, change toilet paper rolls...and put the seat down:)