I tell him that I love him like 5 times or more per day.I buy him things he wants, like movies,cds, etc.When we go out to eat, I kind of just like to stare at him and if he's starring at the floor or at the wall, I ask him like 3 or 4 times that what is he thinking about.I get sad when its time to go to work because I know I wont see him for another 14 hrs.He says I am trying to hard in the relationship because sometimes I say things without thinking if he'll get mad.Example:After we finished eating in my lunch hr, he said if we can leave already, and I replied if he was in a hurry to leave since he goes in to work at 3 it was barely eleven something.I guess I want for him to be the same way I am, but I know I get to him sometimes.How can I back off without being sad.I think we argue because of my fault.Please help!!!
2007-03-20 06:34:36 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
lol, it's okay! It's perfectly fine because there;s nothing wrong wtih being in love! Maybe you should ease up a bit...you know.
Don't be sad...he already knows you love him dearly but he just doesn't need a little reminder every two seconds(hope that wasn't mean) you know?....i hope I helped.
2007-03-20 06:39:52 · answer #1 · answered by hunnybee032001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you already know the answer to your question. But if you need an outsiders point of view, yes I think you are acting obsessive too. I think that you need to find out WHY. Why do you feel the need to say I love you five times a day? Why cant you stop? Why dont you think he feels the same way? It sounds like insecurity on your part. If you dont say I love you at all for a whole day, what do you think will happen? If he were to leave for a week(for a funeral, job, etc)what would you do? Do you have other friends? Are you pursuing your own goals? I think these are all important questions you should be asking yourself. If you continue the way you are, I really do think thats enough to break a relationship. Maybe a therapist could really help you. There is just something in you thats not at ease with the relationship, whether its you or him is hard to say. So I really hope you take it to the next step and get professional help.
2007-03-20 06:47:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's great that you feel this way about your husband, but he married you and only you!! That means that he does love you and cares very much about you. It can be hard to be apart, but you need to focus more on you!!! Find something that you enjoy and do it! Go to a class or hang out with other people. He will not stray and will always love you if you give him some space! (don't smother him or he'll try to escape!) How long have you been married? If it's new then it will pass, but if it's been awhile you need to step back and reassess your actions. Ask him if he needs more space and tell him how you feel, you can work this out together if you truly love each other. Maybe he'll have suggestions on what about the way you act towards him bothers him. If it's insecurity or just infatuation, you can find out what you need to do to focus more on yourself!
2007-03-20 06:41:28 · answer #3 · answered by Elle3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to calm down and quite thinking of this as a bad thing first of all your husband should respect you for the way you feel about him, this is a really good thing. Keep in mind people show love in different ways..
My husband is like you he says i love like every hour of the day even when we are together, he always stares, tells me i'm beautiful ect and that is just his way of showing me how much he loves me.
I on the other hand am more like your husband although i tell my husband i love him alot, i don't constantly stare but i do tell him as much as i can how attractive i think he is..
You really need to sit down and have a heart to heart conversation with him about this, get to the bottom of things. Let him know you do these things because you love him and want him to know it..It has nothing what so ever to do with you trying to hard and he needs to see this..He really needs to be more appreciative towards you and you need to tell him that...
I'll tell you now at the beggining of my marriage i really only said i love you when my husband told me it first, i didn't compliment that much ect..So he sat down with me and told me how much he likes to hear it from me and how often i say it...So the past 8 months or so i have made sure i tell him i love him just as much as he does and i make sure i comliment him ect and things have gotten alot better..
I wish you two the best of luck!
2007-03-20 06:58:00 · answer #4 · answered by Kasja 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obsessed sounds like the correct term. How about you put your strong feelings for him in a journal and then allow him to read it anytime he wants to? That way he won't feel suffocated or that he can't give you what you seem to need from him, and will probably be happier in the marriage overall. Paint his portrait. Invent a new dish for a special supper together and name it after him, that way you two will have a special date on the calendar forever.
2007-03-20 06:41:09 · answer #5 · answered by SodaLicious 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you really love him. Everyone needs a little space, but there is nothing wrong with telling him you love him a lot. I tell my wife that I love her all the time even when we are fighting. I stare at my wife when she is not looking and think I am the luckiest man on earth. Every marriage should be more like that.
2007-03-20 06:52:02 · answer #6 · answered by mojo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Relax. Some guys are just reserved like that, I being one of them. I can say that based upon the way you treat him you will be married for a very long time. Granted, you may annoy him sometimes but I'm sure he knows a good thing when he has it.
2007-03-20 06:40:47 · answer #7 · answered by Pipe Grampa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not obsession. It's really wonderful you love him so much. What is wrong is he seems to not want to return some affection toward you or not enough. You are a giver and he is a taker. Please talk to him about this and let him know you are hurt and that you need some affection thrown your way. Don't say everything is your fault. It's not. It takes two to argue. Your husband is extremely lucky. He better know that.
2007-03-20 06:44:34 · answer #8 · answered by prouddaddy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW... are you pregnant by chance, or hormonal when this is happening? Does this happen all the time??? I think you need to FORCE yourself to leave him alone and give him space. Find a hobby or spend time with friends. Find something else to focus that amazing energy on. There has to be SOMETHING ELSE in your life other than your husband to occupy time. Good luck
2007-03-20 10:55:24 · answer #9 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl you need to back off or you're going to smother him! Try doing things that you like to do. Go to the gym, hang out with girlfriends or something. If you keep acting like this then he will eventually get tired of it and you don't want that. Keep yourself occupied with other stuff and you should be fine.
2007-03-20 06:41:13 · answer #10 · answered by #1 Lucy Fan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋