Sounds like a story right out of a day time drama. I don't know what to do. My exboyfriend contacted me a few months ago through myspace and we have been talking ever since. We are both very much still in love with eachother. The problem is that I am married with a 1 year old baby and he is married and expecting his first child. I have never cheated and neither has he. Basically we were high school sweethearts, he was a few years older than I was so when he went off to college we put things on hold. I then met my husband and 2 years later we were engaged. When I told my ex about the engagement we decided to sever all ties. But now he has come back into my life and all of the old feelings have come back. I love my husband and baby very much but i feel as though i am falling in love with my ex more and more everyday and regretting every decision i have made in the past concerning him. What do I do?
2007-03-20 06:26:31 · 22 answers · asked by Shelly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
STop talking to him....
Your not giving your marriage a true chance. You made the choice to say vows with this man....to leave him and take his child without even giving him a fair chance its just not fair.
Now if your marriage has been bad from the start and not getting better...then think about it. But don't hop from one man to another...its just not healthy.
When we reconnect with our highschool sweethearts...something is there and always will be...but those are memories of a younge and often less mature you.
You are basing your feelings on that time. Do you really want a man who will leave his pregnant wife for you...then who knows ten years down the road...he'll decide he really did want her and not you...and bye bye.
I don't want to be harsh...but people walk away way to easily these days...think of your child and the trama you are causing them as well.
I dont say stay in a marriage if its not worth it...but give it a decent chance...and your not doing that by having an online afair(thats what it is).
Good luck to you...
2007-03-20 06:31:06 · answer #1 · answered by ste.phunny 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's just a fantasy land you are living in right now in my opinion. The grass always seems greener on the other side. It's completely unfair what you are doing to your husband. I'm sure you would be devistated if the table were turned.
Did you have these feelings before he contacted you?
If you love him so much more than your now husband, why did you get married? Why did you have his child?
If you and your high school sweetheart were meant to be, again, why did you both marry other people, and have children with them?
I think you need to say your goodbye's to him, close your myspace account and go do something special for your husband. And any man that would go starting up a relationship with an old love while his wife is pregnant is a dirty dog indeed! I would bet money that it wouldn't work out this way.
2007-03-20 06:47:29 · answer #2 · answered by occasionallyweird 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you need to stop lying. If you really loved your husband and baby like you say you do, you won't be talking to your ex.
Nothing good can come from even talking to him, stop it. And why would a grown woman and mother have a myspace site? That is something for kids and people with too much time on their hands. Grow up and start acting like a wife and mother. Otherwise you will be posting how you had an affair, lost your child, lost your husband, and are miserable living with a guy who just cheated on you.
2007-03-20 06:35:12 · answer #3 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should stop talking with the ex so much, that is just adding fuel to the fire. Get into therapy with your husband. If after you have done everything to reconnect with your husband, and it still isn't working then take some time for yourself to figure out who you are. This isn't about you falling bcak in love with your ex, it sounds like you have no idea who you are and what you want. I bet you anything that if you both left your spouses to be together that things would fall apart within a year. You both need to figure out why you are trying to relive the past, if it's really about love or the need to want what you do not have.
2007-03-20 06:34:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you walked down that isle, you said I DO. For better and for worse. You need to ask your self how important that vow was that you made? And if it isnt very important, why did you do it in the first place? You sound as though your mairrage isnt a bad one. Do you want to throw it away over an old flame? Do not speak to your exbf any more.
Major problem with mairrages today is that people do really not understand the weight of the mairrage vow and how much it ties you to another person. I am not religious, but it is a matter of honor to your word. Good luck with your choice, make the right one for you, your husband and your baby's sake.
2007-03-20 09:28:14 · answer #5 · answered by Shootsscores 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For one thing, SLOW DOWN! If you really love your husband, then think about how you'd feel if he did this to you. Plus, you are "in love" with the person you remember from high school, and this dude has grown up now, and so have you. You've both changed. Things would not be "the same"! I think it's just fantasy.....it's just that "first love" thing that really never leaves you. Don't leave your husband over it! It's too late to regret the past, Honey. Hind site is 20/20. I think it would be a d*mn shame for you to do this to your husband and your kid for childhood fantasies. You never forget your first true love...but that doesn't mean you need to relight the fire. I think you should BOTH live up to the committments you made to the other people in your life. It's the respectable thing to do.
2007-03-20 06:34:51 · answer #6 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you say you love you boyfriend but if you did then why do you have feelings for your best friend? If you both have or had feelings for eachother then why are'nt you both together. I think it is too late let him get married and you stay with your bf. What you both had is over. Once you both got with different people. Things change. so stay with your bf and let your bestfriend be a father to that baby. Hope this helps Good Luck and god bless.
2016-03-29 08:40:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love your husband there is no reason to even considering leaving him. We all go through stages of thinking what our lives would be like with someone else especially after just having a baby.
My advice would be to stop the contact with your ex and consentrate on your life with your husband and baby.
Just imagine if it was the other way round and you found out your husband was speaking to another women.
I know it will be hard to start with because the attention is nice but trust me you will miss what you have got more if you go ahead and start a relationshio with your ex again.
2007-03-20 06:36:08 · answer #8 · answered by laurie d 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are ridiculous--Why are you talking to your ex-boyfriend? You are being really sleezy adn so is he--if you get together--it is not romantic--it is 2 sleezy people getting together--I hope your husband finds out and gives you the boot...If you straighten out before that-well--I hope you've learned your lesson--other than that you have no sympathies--you sound like a desperate bored woman--yes--ahving a child is a bit tiring and can be boring--but I don't know too many people--not decent anyway--who try to spice it up by trying to get together with their ex-boyfriends--you should be spending whatever time you ahve strngthening your bond between you your husband and your baby--how sad that you are wasting your time fantasizing about an ex--who will probably never leave his wife...you need to wake up pronto before you ruin your life--Since you are irresponsbile with My Space--you need to stop using it...I wish your husband the best of luck--he needs it with a wife like you...and stop pretending you love your husband--you are deceiving him and betraying him and if he knew he would be PISSED....A really loving wife would never humiliate her husband the way you are doing--you would never BE in a situation that would lead to where you are now--It's very sad...You are being selfish and childish--please get some help before you destroy your mariage...
2007-03-20 06:48:44 · answer #9 · answered by Shay 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Reread your question a number of times and you will see the answer. You made your decision more than a year ago.
While you still have feelings for your ex, you are both married. You had a reason for marrying your husband and he for marrying his wife. Therefore you both need to remember that you had a reason for believing that your relationship should end or be put on hold and not resumed.
If you had both truly believed your relationship was forever than you would never have put it on hold.
Take care,
Troy
2007-03-20 06:35:41 · answer #10 · answered by tiuliucci 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋