she wasn't only drunk but i think she was high also
2007-03-20 06:23:23 · 29 answers · asked by Brooke_C 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Well she came to my house after staying with me for about 6 or 7 months before this and she really looks up to me and i don't want to let her down by being the one to ruin her for life and even if i do i don't want her to be mad at me
2007-03-21 06:04:46 · update #1
Tell her to stop and that you better not see her like that again... Tell her if you do, then give a warning that you will absolutely tell the parent...
I would be careful about getting her in trouble because she might rebel and do it even more and be more sneaky about it...
2007-03-20 06:28:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Am I on the "Evangelical Forum"? Hehe.
She's 16 for God's sake! 16 year olds drink and smoke! Am I the only one that went to a public high school?
I drank (and drink), I smoked, I did some other stuff too, hehehe. Today, I'm a successful Environmental Chemist with an awesome beach-house in sunny Florida.
Don't mess things up with her mom. That's not your business to butt into someone's life and start trouble. You're not "helping" anyone by doing that. You're just starting family issues and distrust.
Look, everything is OK in moderation. If she gets to the point that she's hanging out with Meth dealers, then maybe it's time to intervene. For right now, she's just being a teenager. If it's under control, there's nothing wrong with a drink every now and again. The legal drinking age isn't set by God. It's set by the US Government (who we all know is infallible in its infinite wisdom! Hehe). In most other countries, if she came home drunk at 16, it wouldn't even be an issue.
Everyone takes our laws to be the absolute Law-of-the-Land...but they change constantly, and are horrifically different than those of other governments.
2007-03-20 10:12:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's kind of hard to say for sure what you should do. It depends on a lot of things. Does your cousin totally trust you? If you tell you can break that bond and she will never confid in you again. Also, is this the first time she has done this? If it is, then don't worry about it too much. Almost everyone experiments some time in their life. If this is the first time, take comfort in the fact she came to you. Perhaps she just needs a good friend to talk some sense into her. Once again, if you tell and it was just a one time thing, you break the bond you have. So take advantage of the opportunity to talk to her and give her advice from the heart. Tell her your concerns.
On the other hand, if this is something she seems to do often, then do tell her parents. Perhaps you can join her parents when they confront her so that she can see that you really care and are concerned for her well being. She will be angry at you at first but when she realizes you are trying to save her life, she will thank you. One way to tell her parents without seeming like you are going behind her back is to talk to her first. Let her know you are concerned and let her know you are going to let her parents know because you are concerned. In this conversation, also give her the opportunity to come clean with her parents. Offer your support in doing so. This will also let her know that you are on her side and not her parents side. She won't feel ganged up on.
2007-03-20 06:42:38 · answer #3 · answered by Sweet 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If she has been using drugs,you have to tell her mom.If she was only drunk and asked you not to tell her mom,if it is her first time getting drunk and asking you about that,you should do it(even just because of the law "Help other people").If she doesn't drink constantly,you aren't doing bad helping her.If she does it another time,you should tell her mom,but as a first time,give her a chance to turn back to the right way.I don't say she is on the wrong way but things like that happen sometimes.After she is sober,ask her not to drink so much again and if she doesn't do it anymore,everything is OK.Of course you know her better and you can say if she is a spoilt child,if so,tell her mom,but if she is usually responsible and mature,give her a chance.
2007-03-20 07:36:41 · answer #4 · answered by Livia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is still the best policy. Tell her mom. She is not suppose to be drinking worst to get drunk at her age. ITs better for her mom to know before she gets into trouble with the police authority for drinking alcoholics below the legal age. The worst thing she can do to you is get mad but at least you saved her from this vice and problems with authorities.
Be strong, remember she is drunk and when you are you lost control of your senses. SHe might be raped, robed, had accident in the car or road, or caught driving under the influence of alcohol, and a lot more problems which you could prevent by telling her mom. At least when any of the above happens you will not be guilty.
2007-03-20 06:40:03 · answer #5 · answered by BigBro Paul 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well she obviously seems open with you, if she came to your home. First ask is this a regular thing she does, has she learned a lesson, if that is not the case, I would throw subtle hints first off to her parents then flat out telling them, if you do this, you may lose your cousin's trust factor, yet if they still don't open there eyes to their child, you must step in. It is not worth her life or the life of another if someone gets hurt..
2007-03-20 06:29:01 · answer #6 · answered by leslieknows 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's okay not to tell her mom this time, but you don't want to encourage her behavior. She may feel more comfortable around you, so now you are in the position to help her.
Don't condone the behavior and let your house be the place to get drunk and high, because now you are going to be responsible.
2007-03-20 06:28:41 · answer #7 · answered by Ms Brown Eyez 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
why no longer wait to marry until eventually you may both stay at the same time? if you're married and living aside, she will be able to apply it as an chance to mock your relationship. Im sorry, your mom sounds like a bully and identity assume a bully to act in that mocking way. basically tell her that you're engaged, you recommend to marry and also you'll construct your existence with the guy you adore. it is your existence and your decision and if she has a controversy with it, then tell her now to not come. also remind her you've basically as honestly suggested no longer some thing, yet she is your mom, you've emotions for her (in spite of those are) and also you experience you should inform her. i imagine that's the in undemanding words way she will be able to well known your severe and question no longer some thing. You not in any respect know, she may wonder you and help it. in my view i do imagine she will be able to opposite it, yet in undemanding words becuase she experience she cant administration or bully you anymore as you may have your guy to 'guard' you and as a married lady you develop right into a spouse earlier you develop right into a daughter. I basically desire you're marrying for the right motives, no longer because he has always been there and also you're used to him. i know you've been by a a lot, yet with the way your mom is and your rocky relationship, apparently to me that you're nevertheless searching the position you want to bypass in existence. if you're particular that your plans are going to be as they're, superb. I basically favor to make certain that your lifetime plans fit in at the same time with his. Marriage in spite of everything is for existence, and it should not be taken gently even if you're 18 or 80. i imagine telling her will be precisely what you imagine it will be. If she receives mad and violent, leave. she will have heard your message and also you dont favor to be there at the same time as she receives used to it. sturdy success. Congrats of your engagement and your new existence. :-)
2016-12-02 07:14:44 · answer #8 · answered by signorelli 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you truly are her friend then you will tell her mom because she came to your house to ask for your help in her drunk way.shes only 16,still in school,and isn't responsible enough to be drinking anyway.if you don't tell someone now,you might not get the chance to tell a second time.she is playing with fire and sometimes when you get burned you don't survive.i have 4 grown sons now but if someone hadn't told me i know for a fact he wouldn't be her today.one day the liquor just wont be enough for her anymore and she will move on to things that are more dangerous then either of you know.i saw it with my own eyes in my son and i came real close to having to bury my 18 year old son.you don't wont that on your conscience.she may be mad at you for a while but she will thank you when she reaches adulthood.please I'm begging you to help her she needs you more then she knows.
2007-03-20 06:36:21 · answer #9 · answered by scooterpie 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Talk to a Grandmother, or other family member. All of you should care enough to help your cousin. You need to make an effort to help her in her destructive ways.
You may lose her trust for a little bit, but hopefully in the end she will see that you are a great cousin and friend because you cared and loved her enough to stand up and make things better for her.
I had the same situation with a VERY close friend. . when it all went down she did not talk to me for about a year. . .after that , she got clean and sober, then thanked me for being such a good caring friend
2007-03-20 06:29:48 · answer #10 · answered by Rocka 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋