MY EX AND I SEPERATED A YEAR AND A HALF AGO AND WE HAVE 3 SMALL CHILDREN.WE NEVER WENT TO COURT TO SETTLE ANYTHING BUT HAD VERBAL AGREEMENTS ON THINGS FROM FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY TO VISITATION. ONE OF THE REASON WE SEPERATED WAS HER TOTAL LACK OF RESPONSIBILITY AND SHE WAS KNOWN TO DO SHADY THINGS(EX.OPENED A CREDIT LINE USING MY FATHERS INFO AND NOT PAYING)SHE ALSO WAS HOSPITALIZED FOR A TRYING TO COMMIT SUICIDE DURING OUR TIME TOGETHER.THESE IS JUST THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG WITH HER.SHE SEEMED TO BE ON THE RIGHT PATH WITH HER LIFE AND WAS GETTING COUSELING AFTER WE SEPERATED.SHE ASKED FOR THE KIDS AND I DIDNT PUT UP A FIGHT.(REALLY REGRET IT NOW) SHE SEEMS TO BE UP TO THE SAME THINGS NOW AND ACTUALLY IS SPREADING RUMORS ABOUT ME BEING A DEADBEAT AND SHES ALL ALONE IN TAKING CARE OF THE KIDS.THATS REALLY ALL A LIE.I RECENTLY FOUND OUT FROM MY OLDEST SON THAT SHE LEAVES THEM AT THERE GRANDMOTHERS FORM SUNDAY TIL THURSDAY AND PICKS THEM UP FOR THE WEEKEND.I WANT CUSTODY,CAN SOMEONE HELP
2007-03-20 05:58:41 · 19 answers · asked by chi_latin_daddy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Save up some money & get a lawyer. You have to take her to court to have custody granted to you. You can prove her unfit under mental instability, since she's suicidal. That bis good grounds to stand on.
2007-03-20 06:14:37 · answer #1 · answered by J Doe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When Dealing in matters of custody you have to have undenieable proof that she is unfit or else she could end up with full custody. Right now what you want to do is consult a lawyer and ask if the is a good chance that you will get custody but before you do that try the obvious thing and ask for the kids tell her you know about them being left at thier grandmothers for days on end and ask her what she is doing that so important that she can't take care of her kids. Just my opinion but do what you think is right.
2007-03-20 06:36:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband's step-father is going through this right now with his 2 kids. He originally shared custody with the mother, even though he was awarded full custody in court. Now they have found out that there have been incidents at their house where the police have been called out to deal with her, and she is drinking heavily all the time. Because the kids are in a potentially unsafe situation when at her house, it is not going to be difficult for him to re-gain full custody.
However, it's not a simple situation. You will need to talk to a lawyer and go through the court system, which can take a while. You may also need proof that she is unfit, and that may be difficult to get. It may take a while and be expensive, but if it is the best thing for the kids, it will be worth it.
You should also be prepared for her to try to turn the kids against you. My husband's step-siblings are 12 and 13, and they don't understand why their father is trying to keep them away from their mom. They love her, and don't see that they are not safe are her house. I'm sure she is talking bad about their father to them, as well, which is not helping the situation. Just keep in mind that your kids will probably be angry with you for quite a while. Be as honest with them as you can, but remember that what you are doing is for their own good. Hopefully one day they will understand. Good luck!
2007-03-20 06:41:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Illinois baby Custody rules - Illinois baby custody rules take under consideration the main suitable pastime of the youngster. The courtroom will come to a call custody after finding on the needs of the mummy and father and the needs of the youngster. different issues that the Illinois baby custody rules look into are the academic placing of the youngster, the youngster's well-being and welfare, any abuse or violence in the direction of the youngster, and the mummy and father skill to cooperate with any visitation scheduled with the help of the courts. Joint custody in the state of Illinois is resembling many different states. on condition that there is abuse happening in the divorcing domicile, they're going to supply joint custody to the divorcing mom and father. Illinois baby custody rules will recommend joint custody each and every time the courts discover that this is in the main suitable pastime of the youngster. The courtroom additionally will take under consideration the guy mom and father place of residing and life form till now assigning actual custody. Required with the help of Illinois baby custody rules are the get right of entry to of the two determine to all archives with regard to the youngster. those archives incorporate scientific archives, dental, and faculty archives. on condition that a determine is against the regulation with the help of a courtroom order will they have the skill to maintain the different determine from viewing the youngster’s archives. between the main unusual Illinois baby custody rules is that the courtroom might come to a call that the mummy and father take a type on the outcomes that youngsters have after the mummy and father divorce. The courtroom can require the mummy and father to attend this academic software. some judgements may be made on how the custodial determine will boost their baby. judgements on training, self-discipline, faith, and psychological well-being themes will all be blanketed in this technique. baby help is set with the help of a share of income. in case you have one baby, in Illinois you pays 20% of your income for baby help. based at right here Illinois baby custody rules the courtroom ought to make a written finding if their primary technique of determining baby help isn't used. Illinois baby custody rules are nicely written intimately besides the fact that if it rather is often maximum suitable to envision with a sturdy lawyer. do no longer forget approximately to take a itemizing of questions on your lawyer and make advantageous that the lawyer has your maximum suitable pastime in strategies.
2016-10-19 04:19:07 · answer #4 · answered by lipton 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you will need to get a and hire a good lawyer and file and go for full custody... BUT first you will have to prove her to be an unfit mother. really leaving them with the grandmother does not make her unfit though as they are being watched by someone even though she is not with them. I have to wonder though why she is leaving them alone so long and why is she not with them? At least try going for joint custody though. Good luck to you. If she is not a responsible mother or parent you will need to prove this in court to be able to get these kids.
2007-03-20 06:29:25 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go get them and keep them, since there is no court order, then file the papers for full custody,, find out about free legal aid, get your stuff clean,, no problems,, have a decent place to live and income,, check out state medical care,, the courts will make you take a parenting class, so get it done and over with to show the court how serious you are,, get the medical papers in order, the courts love to see all this,,verbal agreements dont fly in court,,stop paying her anything and go get the kids,, now,, if grandma refuses then tell her you will call the cops,, if there is no court order she cant keep you from the kids
2007-03-20 06:26:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I know it's very hard to prove her as an unfit parent with documentation and possbily harder evidence like video or recordings. You can however get her for fraudulently opening up an account in someone else's name. Right there is great proof. Documentation I understand is key. If they get her for fraud; she'll do some time on that, and she will lose custody of her kids. Contact an attorney before doing anything else.
2007-03-20 06:14:41 · answer #7 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You gave her a chance, and she tried to change- but we are who we are, what can I say, right?
I suggest getting a lawyer- verbal agreements- they don't even count these days. You should get her to sign a contract or form stating all of those "verbal agreeements" and the grandmother may be of help in the courts.
Divorces can be messy, and I have a feeling getting custody of the kids won't be easy. Try to talk to her first, if it sets off an arguement, sorry- this one's for the legal brains to handle.
Good Luck and All the Best!
2007-03-20 06:05:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Contact A.D.A.M. (an advocacy group for father's rights.) They can give you good legal referrals and some encouragement. Things vary by judges and jurisdictions so no one can for sure predict the outcome for you. Be sure to get the services of a competent local professional who is well informed of your true circumstances. Courts are more receptive to dad's custody than in the past. I hope for the best for your kids.
2007-03-20 06:09:47 · answer #9 · answered by ozzman 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with everyone in your answer box get proof that she is unfit and then you can see a lawyer about the situation. Also just for the record do not live by verbal agreements EVER! They are not binding and unprovable in court.
2007-03-20 06:30:34 · answer #10 · answered by hendersonswoman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋