A good friend of mine who is a stay at home mom recently went on a trip with some other friends and met a older man on a plane. They had a breif affair and she says that it was wrong but it has giving her a whole new prespective on how much she loves her husband and how much her family means to her. My question is..Has anyone else ever had an affair one time thing and didnt get caught or tell husband or wife and has it jump started your sex life and make you appreciate your spouse more? Please don't write and tell me how wrong affairs are and immoral and blah blah blah because I agreee with you, I just want to know real stories of this happening to people and if anyone else feels the same way as my friend does.
2007-03-20 05:21:22 · 20 answers · asked by mom of twins 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If she could learn from this situation it would be fine. Chances are however that pretty soon down the road, she's going to start realizing that whatever it was that drove her to another man's bed will happen again. Just because SHE has a new perspective does not mean her husband does.
I had a friend once who fell in love with a guy (they never had sex) because her husband couldn't care less about her. She realized what was missing in her married life and it eventually ended up in a divorce because she could not live in a loveless marriage.
If there's some way to suggest to your friend that she gets marriage counseling, that might help, but I doubt it.
I wish your friend luck.
2007-03-20 05:31:43 · answer #1 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure if the "fling" is the reason some feel "jump started". I believe that old saying... " You don't know what you have until it's gone "
When someone is in a position like that I believe they realize just how much they have involved in their relationship and become scared, desperate, longing, and have separation anxiety. (These by the way are all emotions attached with sin.)
Do I think the affair was the cause for a "jump start"? NO.
Do I think your friend is experiencing "guilt of sin" YES
I know that you already agree with me so I don't have to twist your arm to see my point.
But there is relief found in Jesus Christ. Amen.
2007-03-20 12:43:20 · answer #2 · answered by Blueryno 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man, the stink of the double standard - whew! I can smell it through my monitor!
If the women here who are saying, "take that secret to your grave, girl" EVER found out their husbands had done the same thing - they'd cut his balls off and stuff them down his throat. Then they'd watch 117 LifeTime Movies for Women on the topic of cheating bastard men and cry forever about not just the affair but the LYING.
If you'd want your husband to tell you, then you had by god better tell your husband. Otherwise don't be upset in the least when news of his affair leaks out.
"oh honey, I was drunk, on vacation, it was a brief thing, it has given me a whole new perspective on our marriage, it has jump started our sex life, I appreciate you and our family much more now that I've dicked another woman a few dozen times on a cruise ship - isn't that great?"
Like you'd accept that bullsh* t for ONE SECOND from your husband.
If that's the defintion of 'desperate housewife' - then aren't DH's just sl*tty wife-whores who f*ck men they are not married to?
I hope that answers your 'friend's' question.
2007-03-20 14:36:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Your friend is full of crap. Hate to say it, but that sounds like an exscuse to me. If she really felt that way then she wouldn't have done what she did.
That sounds like a combonation of fear and guilt talking. I imagine her new found love for her husband and family is triggered by her guilt from having her affair, and she is probably scared of what she has to lose if her actions come to light, but that's my own personal opinion.
My ex cheated on me and she used every exscuse in the book to try and jsutify her actions, in the end that's all she had exscuses.
2007-03-20 12:29:50 · answer #4 · answered by evil_paul 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have no personal experience in this, but one of my nearest and dearest friends does. She's a stay at home mom that put her kids into daycare behind her husbands back so she could spend all day with another man. She did it for almost a year. She got caught and they're divorcing!!
2007-03-20 12:26:32 · answer #5 · answered by wwhrd 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree - an incident like this - not meant to hurt anyone - is best left untold. Likewise, it certainly can rekindle your marriage/relationship. Quite often we are tempted and act out on something like this and though it's not necessarily the "right" thing to do it can end on a positive note by making us realize how fortunate we are to have what we do at home. No harm done as long as it's over.
2007-03-20 12:26:17 · answer #6 · answered by Dee 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Jeez....I mean, I have heard of this happening. I am being very careful chosing my words, because I WILL NOT EVER condone or recommend it to anyone.
I have heard people say that an affair actually saved their marriage. I sincerely hope I am never in a situation like that.
2007-03-20 13:21:01 · answer #7 · answered by Disco Stu 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know a lot of people who have gone through the exact same thing as your friend. It's too bad that this is what it took, but only God can judge.
2007-03-20 12:34:01 · answer #8 · answered by E! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Everyone that I know had an affair usually ends up divorced.
2007-03-20 12:27:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes your friend having a one night stand for her to realize how much she loved her husband and family. SHE must be some piece of work. There is a word for WOMEN like your so called friend.
2007-03-20 12:29:40 · answer #10 · answered by Monty L 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋