My husband just walked out and packed his stuff. I am a stay at home mom/student and I have no other option but to move back on the east coast with my mom. I am so confused right now. Where do I begin as far as making sure things are done before I leave? He won't even want to see his daughter again because he says it will be too hard and her first birthday is next week. Any advice at all would be greatly appreciated.
2007-03-20 05:21:17 · 15 answers · asked by Mom of Three 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all I would like to say that I apologize and I can only imagine how you feel. Just be thankfull that you have your mom to go to. I don't want you sitting around stressing cause your daughter really needs you right now. This is the time for you to start thinking about you and your child's future. Trust me, in the long run he will regret what he did. And you must make sure of it by going on with your life and doing all you can to make it. The only thing worst than a women who gives up is a woman who doesn't try. I know you probably feel like the world is on your shoulders right now. But prayer, strength, and belief is all you need right now. Go on with your devorce and get all you can for your child's sake and show that man as well as yourself that you will make it. There will be times when you're going to feel like giving up. But, all you have to do is look at that beautiful little girl to see that you have a real reason to keep going. Stay strong and remember that everything happens for a reason. Turn to God and go on with your life, cause he's on your side. When it comes down to the custody part of your devorce, even though he said he don't want to see his child make sure you give him the rights to see her anyway. That will make him feel even more less of a man. You never know what God has in store for you, so don't shorten your blessings by trying to make life harder for him. My God says to love your enimies and to treat them the way you want to be treated. And my God also says that WORRYING IS MORE HARMFUL THAN HELPFUL AND GOD DOES'NT IGNORE THOSE WHO DEPEND ON HIM. My e-mail address is lakenndrabrooks@yahoo.com, if you need any other advice in the future. May God be with you.
P.S. If he tries to come back, it is very important that you reject him. You don't need anyone who's going to play around with your life. A real man wouldn't have walked away the way he did. If he did it once he'll do it again. STAY STRONG.
2007-03-20 05:50:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, stay focused on the important thing in this whole situation... Your daughter. As long as you take care of her, this whole thing will blow over and you will be fine.
Second... why did he leave? Is this something that has been coming on for a while, or was it sudden? If you already know that you have to move to the east coast, the first thing you need to do is set up your move. Find out which bills are in your name, which utilities you need to have shut off, and figure out how you will move your belongings to the East Coast. I'm not sure where you are, but obviously it is a significant distance. If you are moving in with your mom and there isn't much room, it may help you to have a yard sale first. Sell your husbands crap, since he's too much of a coward to face up to his responsibility as a father to even say goodbye to his daughter. Make enough money to move, and then do that.
Make a list of things you have to do, mailing addresses forwarded, utilities shut off, bills paid, etc. Take it one step at a time and I'm sure things will get better.
You can email me if you need any more support, I'm online most of the day with work, and I'd be happy to talk to you more. You will be fine, you and your daughter will still be together, and this could be a fresh start for you. Try to stay positive, and have faith in yourself.
Good luck, and don't forget you can write if you want to talk further.
2007-03-20 12:30:20 · answer #2 · answered by ski4ever1977 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just plan on moving back with your mom asap and take your daughter with you BUT make sure to get something in writing from him before doing so as if he wants to be mean he can get you for kidnapping her out of revenge.. make sure it is notararized and signed by both of you as well. I also would make sure he sees her on her birthday before you leave as well and make sure you have full custody of her before leaving. You need to file for divorce asap as well. Why did he walk out if i may ask? consult a lawyer and see what you need to do about your daughter before leaving and follow their legal and wise advice. Try getting food stamps and public assistance and maybe even a job right now to help support yoursef for the time being and maybe even get a small apartment for just you and your child... This is a start. Good luck to you and here comes lots of hugs your way. Maybe your mom can come out and help you get things together and in order before you move. You will also have to file and get child support for her from him as well.
2007-03-20 12:50:25 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am soo sorry this is happening to you. First, obtain a lawyer and find out what your options are. Especially since it sounds like he was the sole provider.
Second, close any accounts that may leave YOU in a bad situation.
Third, try to finish school and if you cannot, find out what will transfer when you have to move and go from there. Your education will be your most important tool you have to help raise your daughter.
Lastly, stay strong and know things will get better!
You are in my prayers..
2007-03-20 12:48:03 · answer #4 · answered by Noire 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He didn't just leave you he walk out on his kid call your mom if the bill's are in his name screw it just back up and leave that's his problem let your landlord no your leaving but if there's bill's in your name you have to pay them soon and close the account now if your name is on the bank account go get some money right now before he closes the account drain him for everything than when u get back home by your mom's call the division of child support and get his worthless but.it will get better i promise
2007-03-20 12:38:45 · answer #5 · answered by XoAngieXo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Contact an attorney. Your daughter will need monetary support, even if the jerk doesn't want to ever see her again as long as he lives.
Next, get your affairs in order. See if you can get some monetary support for yourself from your family or friends till you can get yourself packed and moved. File for state assistance for food and rent at the very least until you can get things packed and moved. You may need to consider moving your stuff into storage for a month or two and moving yourself and your daughter in with a friend, until you can tie up loose ends and get moved to the east coast.
Good luck.
2007-03-20 12:27:27 · answer #6 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Please consult a lawyer first before you do anything.
It maybe possible to move back home and file from there but I think you need to file for divorce unless there is no chance of reconciliation, did he cheat on you or just walk out?
You need more advice that yahoo answers can give you right now. Good Luck.
2007-03-20 14:00:24 · answer #7 · answered by steinerrw 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm also a stay at home mom-my husband left one day(overnite) When my 21yr.old was here, he took my key's so I could'nt drive her home,I guess to scare me or ?? well, it actually made me stronger!! i DON'T TAKE HIS CR** AS MUCH(STAND UP FOR MYSELF MORE!) LET HIM KNOW- i'LL BE FINE W/OUT YOU! tOLD HIM WENE HE CAME BACK, NEXT DAY-WOULD you HAVE LET ME back??? Please, go to your family, your daughter will be better for it also!!!My mom died in 1997-& if I still had her around, I'd probably take a break, If I could-go to your mom, Thank God she's still there for you! Good luck & God Bless!!!Also, don't know if you know it or not, but He'll have to pay you alimony + child support! so, get an attorney's advise BEFORE you go(on law's of leaving & such).
2007-03-20 14:16:36 · answer #8 · answered by mgle3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to legal aid in the state you're in. Explain your situation and see if you can get help filing for divorce before you leave. Otherwise, you could be stuck for six months or more in the new state you go to, waiting to become a "resident" before you can file for divorce or not. When you do file for divorce, you need to get sole custody of your daughter, and even if his sorry azzz doesn't wanna SEE her, he can STILL help finance her. She deserves it. He needs to pay child support. Also, take half of his bank account. You're going to need it. If there's no money....then that sucks for you, but you can still hold him accountable for your daughter so she can have a decent lifestyle. But I'd definitely get the divorce rolling before I split.
2007-03-20 12:31:52 · answer #9 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, it sounds like your husband has the financial burden, or has had it, so he is probably truly stressed out.
Secondly, regardless of his feelings, you have another problem at hand now, and that is facing life on your own with your child. You have to file for child support as soon as you possibly can.
2007-03-20 12:28:38 · answer #10 · answered by E! 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋