Ladies, need some input from you?

Question

Wife complains about me climaxing to quick during sex. So I used some desensitizing spray to last longer for her.

Wife complained about me using the spray. What gives? Can't women be happy with anything?

ICING ON THE CAKE!!!! She doesn't orgasm from penetration. So what difference does it make if I come too quick or not?

Thanks for all the input. Here are some other things to think about.

Most of the time I do take care of her first.

I tell her that if she wants me to go again, she has got to help me get it up. She won't do that, it's "dirty".

And finally, we only have sex about once a week on average. So of course I climax quick, it just feels so good.

Her response, it is my fault I have no self control.

Answer 1

Wow...sounds like there's more going on here than sexual dissatisfaction!

I would say it might be time for some intervention in the form of a marriage counselor. Probably not what you want to hear, but its probably also exactly what needs to happen.

Good luck.

Answer 2

Foreplay is ALL it's made out to be....try fooling around with her for 10-15 minutes BEFORE she even touches any part of you. You would be surprised at how much stronger you climax after waiting for it. If she doesn't climax from penetration, change positions to enter at a different angle....and think about football or something else until YOU can't stand it any more. The desensitizing spray you use not only desensitizes you but her also and can be irritating. Good luck and God bless

Answer 3

Well if you are climaxing too quickly then are you even giving her a chance to climax herself or when you finish is the whole thing over? The desensitizing cream may be bothering her and she's probably not doing it to annoy you but it's just not a good solution to the problem because it creates another problem. When you feel yourself getting close, stop and wait until you can continue again without immediately climaxing. Keep practicing this technique and it should help the problem. Otherwise see a sex therapist for other ideas.

Answer 4

Most women don't orgasm thru penetration. But its still a bummer to want more and hubby is already done. You could try pleasuring her in other ways even after you are finished and see if you can go for another round. Or if you know that tonight might be a nite of romance, you could take care of business on your own beforehand so that you won't be too excited and see if that helps you last longer.

Are you frequent in your love making? Sometimes the problem is that it's too long inbetween that causes the men to finish too quickly. Or you could also try to control it more. If you feel you are close, stop and focus on her for awhile, i'm sure she'd love that! Good luck!

Answer 5

It almost sounds like she's a little selfish. Stop trying so hard to satisfy someone that won't be pleased. Talk to her about it. Let her know you just want to satisfy her, and ask how you can better do that....but personally, I think she needs to think of you too. It's a two way street, and I don't think she's doing her part.

Answer 6

even she doesn't come from penetration, she still has fun from it so it matters. tell her that her complaints bother you while you trying your best. talk to her nicely and make a firm point so she gets it. talking about how and what to do with sex is not an easy topic though. so it's possible she's using complaints to hide her shyness or so. good luck!

Answer 7

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Answer 8

didn't you post a question about your wife loves you but don't want to have sex? now after reading this question, I think I understand your problem better because I too am married husband and have same issue. I know you post this question for ladies to answer, but had to butt in.
First ladies, we men have needs too. Many of you think we have control of our man thing and we can climax when we want or last as long as you want. NOT TRUE. We have no control of our male organ. It does what it wants, when it wants. We need your help to last longer and stay harder. Our performance greatly depends on you ladies. We men too are emotional animal. When you initiate or foreplay, etc. we get arouse more, get our heart pumping and DO PERFORME BETTER!!!!! Don't think that initiating sex or foreplay has to be done by men alone. You too have to do it for your own pleasure. (Dude tell your wife what I just wrote and hope she understand)

Second, for your part, do you smoke, drink, or do drug? these things will hurt your performace. Also you need to exercise. Erection, length and hardness of your erection depends on blood circulation to your penis. Remember the physical education? Penis erection is cause by increase of blood flow to your penis. Stop smoking, drink or drugs with increase of exercise will help your performance better.

Third, as you have stated, she needs to help you also. There are two parts to this. Part One - try to set it up. What I mean is plan a special occuation. Go out and get a hotel room one weekend (different environment will help you and her) and plan a nice dinner. some wine (not for you because alcohol will decrease your performance), flower and other things that women find romantic. Then when she is all sappy and feel romantic, she will be more willing to do more. Second Part - I always find that my wife tends to be interested right after she had her period. Believe me this is natural animal instinct.

To end this note, she does love you but she is just not interested in sex with you because there is no fun/pleasure for her. It is just chore to her. My wife at most time is like just like your wife and I too am just like you but instead of wanting to every other day, I want it everyday. But there is solution to this but it has to be work out by both of you. I have not yet work it out with my wife, because she, after explaining her just like I did here, still will not participate in helping me to help her. But that is just how women are. Some ladies who post the answer said that you are selfish, but it is they who are selfish. They do not want to help there partner to reach full potential, and yet they expect you to performace at peak all the time. IT IS JUST NOT FAIR TO ALL MEN.

PEACE

Answer 9

I have no idea. Ask her what difference does it make. Sounds like she may just be a complaining type.

Answer 10

Hello, it's still important for both people to enjoy the show. Maybe she's complaining because you're not icing her cake!