You've been with a man more than half of your life and now everything seems to fall apart. You want to hold on but you'll feel that although things will look better but deep inside you're miserable and dread for that certain day when you can explode in the point of not knowing what might happen.
And if you chose to separate, will it be a guarantee that you'll be happy? What if you will meet somebody who is more deceiving than he is?
And how can you bear that he moved on and you haven't?
2007-03-20 05:17:40 · 21 answers · asked by finding_answers 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes there is definitley life after fify if you choose to live it and to start new again. Hold on to what you have and do not let go. Seek marriage or relationship counseling if need be and let him know how much you love him and want to make this work. If you seperate then move on with your life and date here and there but do not get serious about anyone unless you know for sure that they are who they say they are. You may also need counseling for how you are feeling and to learn how to get past this and to move on with your life. Life is what you make of it hon.... You can choose to live above what has happened and be happy and content in your life no matter what or you can choose to let this destroy you and ruin your life forever. The choice is yours hon and it is yours to make. Good luck to you and i hope you life gets better and much happier with time. Good luck to you!
2007-03-20 05:32:31 · answer #1 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course there is life after 50!!! 50 is the new 40 and that means there are still options.
Nobody wants to change their life at 50, but this is a bold new world and unfortunately relationships have been ending after what seems like an eternity and then only the one that ended the relationship is ok.
Move on and go get yourself a 25 year old surfer stud! He'll make you feel like a woman again! If you want to settle down again, communicate thoroughly and at exhaustion about everything before anything happens. It's the only way to be sure.
Just don't give up and realize you are resilient and amazing and you don't need him.
2007-03-27 15:50:53 · answer #2 · answered by xmanconti 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are in a bad situation and if you want to be happy, and he is willing to go with you, get marriage/family counseling. Perhaps it's not too late. If he won't go, go by yourself: you may find you're stronger than you think you are and discover how to look for the warning signs of undesirable behavior and avoid them like the plague. Ask yourself what attracted you to him in the first place? I'm betting he has had a deceptive bent all the years you've known him. You wouldn't be the first to enter a relationship with blinders on.
There are no guarantees that you'll be happier...at least not right away...due to your financial circumstances. etc.
Lastly, you need to swallow your pride because you are human and therefore not perfect either. If he has always been a ruthless person, good riddance to bad rubbish and may the next "victim" catch onto his ways. Just because he's moved on does not mean he's happier.
Living well is the best revenge...and that includes living emotionally and mentally well.
2007-03-26 02:50:22 · answer #3 · answered by niteowl716 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The fear of the unknown sometimes keeps us staying in an unhappy situation. Right now you seem unhappy. The choice is yours - stay in a situation that guarantees unhappiness or leave with the hope that you will find a new path in life that could bring you happiness. If you choose the latter, you will need to make things happen to bring happiness. It won't happen on it's own.
Who knows what lies ahead? It is up to you to keep an open mind and heart and embrace what life has to bring - the good and the bad. It has to come from you. What do you want your life to be like? Once you have some idea, go out and get it. It won't necessarily be easy but life isn't supposed to be. Maybe you need to talk it over with a therapist if you haven't already.
And I sincerely hope there is life after 50! I have only 4 years to go!
Good luck
2007-03-20 12:32:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Look at it this way; what if he died instead of y'all separating. I know that is more "final" but end result is same. YES, there is life after 50 (after 60, even). And life is way too short to spend it miserable with someone else, especially when it's probably just a bad habit! Why do you want to hold on? If it 'cuz you are scared of being alone, shame on you...you are NEVER alone; HE is always with you. If it is because you still care, stop thinking about leaving and buckle down to making things work! Either way, good luck and God bless
2007-03-26 11:55:07 · answer #5 · answered by gmabell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been with someone for almost half my life at age 28. I get it. Is everything really falling apart or did you both stop working at it? If you are really that miserable and don't want to work on things to make them better/or him. Then move on. You only get ONE life here. I don't believe that the grass is greener on the other side. I don't know exactly the specifics here. If you feel like you don't want to be with him then move on and don't worry about what happens to him. I'm sure it'd be difficult but is it more difficult then wasting your life?
Good luck!
There is NO guarentee for happiness...but you are the only person who can make you happy! And the only one who knows what that is is you!
2007-03-27 16:09:35 · answer #6 · answered by Apple Blossom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dad left my mom after 25 years together. Then he married the biggest whore in the world 4 months later. My mom dealt with a serious depression for a year or so then after some prodding from me, she started dating. She realized that my father wasn't so great in bed after all and that at 49 she was still young and vibrant. Long story short, she has been married for the past 4 years to the most amazing man with the most beautiful green eyes and she doesn't take any **** from him. You'll be fine. Just remember, God already has it worked out, you just have to make it through to your own happy ending.
p.s. My dad looks really old and my mom looks hotter every year!!!
2007-03-27 00:32:15 · answer #7 · answered by Sweetie 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You bet! I got divorced after 30 years, I was 57! I thought it was the end of my life. I was depressed for about 2 years, then I pulled myself together, took vitamins, exercised and walked, worked and rented my house out, and went to CA from NJ. Then I ended up in Mexico where I bought a house and started a B&B and learnt some Spanish. I'm really enjoying life now and I'm 71 in May. People think I'm 50!
2007-03-27 02:18:13 · answer #8 · answered by Tinribs 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There are NO guarantees in life. But if your not happy where you are in life, you have to change. And who says you have to be with someone ? I know being lonely is hard but maybe now is the time when you do all the things you couldnt do with him. Go the places he didnt want to and live life the way you want .. COMPLETELY ! Best of luck :)
2007-03-20 12:57:25 · answer #9 · answered by dralls4lyf 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
of course!! Don't give up. Would you rather hold on miserably than take a risk, go separate ways and find who you really are again.
There are NO guarantees in life and who said that you need a man to survive!! Well, if you can't beat him, join him!!
Good luck!! and brave on, start living for yourself again!!
2007-03-20 13:25:54 · answer #10 · answered by Celia 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋