What if my baby is...?

Question

I am currently 23 weeks pregnant with my second child. Has anyone else been experiencing weird "what if" thoughts about something being wrong with your baby? i don't remember feeling them with my first, for some reason i just knew everything would be fine but i think i feel like i won't be as lucky this time or something. I know it is somewhat irrational but last night i dreamt of a tiny little baby boy with an eye in the middle of his forehead, before that i have dreamt of missing limbs, large heads, a deformed nose, etc. and physical deformities are actually the least of my worries! what if the baby is sick or comes really prematurely? all the what if's are driving me crazy!! anyone else? what can i do to not stress myself out? i wanted to have three children but now i am not sure i can even make it through number two!

Answer 1

This is normal. It is normal because although everything will probally be just fine, you are a second time Mom and musch more aware of the problems that could occur, versus when you were pregnant with your first child everything was new and you didn't know what to expect. It also is a normal occurance because when we love something so much we do tend to dwell on what we would do if we lost that or something terrible would happen to it, it's kinda a coping mechanism.

Answer 2

I understand. I am 37 and pregnant with my first child. I am worried that because of my age something will be wrong. I tell myself that worrying will not help and that everything will be just fine and I think positive thoughts and just have faith that everything will be okay. I know that I will continue to worry about it sometimes until the baby gets here though. I have not been having dreams like you have though, I think you should try to relax about it a little, after all, worrying about it won't change anything and will just keep you upset which is not good for you. Just know that you are not alone in feeling that way and that more than likely everything will be fine. Good luck to you!!

Answer 3

First of all, congratulations on being pregnant! As to your worries, the overwhelming majority of children in the U.S. are born without major birth defects. Having regular prenatal care, taking your vitamins, not drinking/smoking/drugs will help to prevent many birth abnormalities... and that is really all you can do. I understand that we all want a certain degree of assurance in this life, but as they say, "life happens". We cannot control 100% of what happens, any one of us could get into a car crash today or find out we have cancer, etc. It is the futile preoccupation with the unfavorable that becomes very exhausting and takes away from the joy of pregnancy. One simple method that seems to work is to have a "script of reminders" whenever you realize you're having these intrusive thoughts. Basically you say to yourself something like, "I'm already doing everything I can, I'm wasting my time and energy worrying about this, there is always a possibility that something could go wrong, but I just have to live my life." Try it a few times, and see if it helps. If not and it is still really bothering you, you can try talking to a counselor, pastor/priest , or your OB on your next visit. Congratulations, again!

Answer 4

Absolutely normal to have these thoughts. The reason is probabley because you are more informed of what can happen this time vs. last time. Try to put it out of your mind, remember in all likely hood your baby is fine, most problems are now found during pregnancy and some can even be treated before the baby is born. Trust your DR. and ask questions to ensure your sanity.

Answer 5

When I was pregnant with my first I had a few weird dreams about the baby looking funny or coming out messed up. The one I really remeber was it was a girl baby and she came out normal except for the fact that she had a tail like a mermaid. I didn't think anything of it, and I did end up having a perfectly healthy little girl.

Answer 6

Ok, I'm sure your baby is perfectly fine .. you are thinking about the worst sooo much, it's going into your subconscious and you are dreaming about it.
Your dreams are way more vivid now that you are pregnant. If you are thinking about something or worrying about something .. its going to come out in your dreams.
You know your baby doesn't have one eye in the middle of his forehead :)
Those dreams are very normal. I've had a few myself .. and we've had ultrasounds that show my baby is perfect.
It's just your mind working over-time. Hang in there and relax .. ** think happy thoughts ** :)

good luck! congrats on the baby! God bless!

Answer 7

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Answer 8

I am 35 weeks with my second and i am more worried now then i was with the first, but i am also worried about how my first is going to act, and or feeling neglected and everything else. all you can do is relax and do what your supposed to do, eat right, stay healthy. there are never guarantees that everything is going to be ok-but a lot of the time it is. as long as your doing what your supposed to do that is all you can do.

Answer 9

That's interesting. You could have fears about something else and are just feeling the fear through your unborn child. Are you afraid that there will be sibling issues? Any issues with work/not work? Relationship problems? Financial concerns? It sounds like you are displacing unknown fears to your child.

Answer 10

It's perfectly normal to get a little nervous about the health of your child. It just shows your genuine concern for your baby! You are a caring person!