What would you do and how would you feel if you friend did the following??

Question

We've been friends now for almost 10 years.... Yes we've had our ups & downs & some REALLY bad downs. But we've always been able to pull through & find the best in each other & move on. Well this last time might have been the straw that broke the camels back. I myself have major issues happening from a separation from my husband, 3 children, & being on the bubble for loosing my job of 5 yrs. I also have other "family" problems that my plate is full!! Well she was supposed to come over last week but told me she had to cancel due to a "support group get together" for a friend that committed suicide. My fault comes in, as I didn't give her condolences or even reply to her message. I'm not a mean person or am I cold hearted. I just have so much going on here that I didn't say anything to her. I do feel for her & I am sorry that she lost someone in her life, but now she will not talk to me, look at me & oh yeah she's my boss!!!!! So now my work environment sucks. What would you do or say???

Answer 1

The only thing you can do, speak with her outside of work as work is not the place for personal issues and candidly tell her you are "SORRY". You should have said something but you didn't because you are too wrapped up in yourself and your own personal issues not that that is an excuse. That you will try to not be so wrapped up in your own issues in the future and try to take hers into account as well. She will either accept your apology or not. But even if she doesn't right then, don't get angry, as you are the one in the wrong here, just tell her you will give her some space and time and hopefully when she is ready to forgive you she will come to you and let you know. If you are truly good friends that work through these things, she will come to you when she is ready. One thing you must remember that just because you finally say your sorry, doesn't mean she has to forgive you dead on the spot or she never will. You have to give people the right to take time to think about what you said. If you have always been a good friend to her, it will again prevail. You must try now to take a step back and as difficult as it may be you cannot make your problems, as hard as they may be for you, the priority of everyone elses lives as well. I understand they are yours and thats ok, however, if you want to keep your friendships, you must also consider what is going on in their lives.

Answer 2

first of all--this person sounds very needy--they do not understand when you have problems..just need attention for themselves--She is your boss? But you said you lost your job?...Hmm....I would let her go--it could be a sign--when you need support she is busy demending more time and attention for herself--real friends do not make issues about petty things over and over--yes--her friend died--and it is a big deal for her--but she should know you enough after 10 years to know that you would not forget that unless you were going through a hard time yourself--it's like she is constantly testing you to make sure you are a good enough friend--well--that is ridiculous--if after 10 years she is still behaving this way--she needs to go--friendship requires some work but not so much--it should be FUN--you choose friends that bring you JOY--not headaches--and who understand your stresses as well--not people who just expect you to cater to their needs...friendship goes both ways...You seem to be locked in these drama-creating scenarios--i would let her go--don't give her any attention--find a new job--and move on--start finding positive people in your life and stop tolerating troublesome people--Old is not always gold--sometimes it is just OLD--you need to keep people who treat you right in your life..good Luck--and I hope you sort out your life situations...Find supportive friends..join your own support group for people going through a separation--and get the support YOU neeed...stop feeling guilty for needing time for YOU....and if she is treating you badly at work--well she is not professional and it also shows what kind of a person she is--utterly selfish...find new friends adn a new boss--soon....The universe seems to be helping you clear out your past--good luck with bringing in better people...

Answer 3

First of all, apologize. That's the best thing one could do, and ask for forgiveness.

But expectedly, the other would not accept your apology; but bare in mind, you did your part.

Even if she wouldn't listen, explain your side, of how sorry you are and what your mistake was.

Both sides got mistakes, and we must admit that. The downfall is just that who would forgive and forget first. Another thing, you could also just be cool about her; because if you start holding anger over your friend, it just makes you same as who she is.

You wouldn't want that. As long as your friend realizes that she's the only one being unreasonable, she'd go near you.

Just do your stuff, and leave the rest to His hands.

Answer 4

You have to apply a little force on her to get her to listen.

Sit her down in her office and say - Look, we are friends damn it, and have been friends through alot of crap. Lets not ruin a friendship to something like this- and explain to her what is going on, and how you feel about your friendship and her loss of a friend, or whatever you feel comfortable with telling your friend.

True friends can handle the truth- that is all they want.

Just tell her and be truthful, and if in the end it doesnt work out- your conscience will be clear, knowing you told her what you needed to tell her, but I bet she is willing to forgive, if you are.