I just found out over the weekend that my boyfriend has apparently been telling his family and friends my entire life story. I would not care that much, as it is apparent I guess he loves to talk about me and that shows that he cares ... but, a week before we decided to be together I had broken off an engagement with someone.
It only lasted two weeks, and it meant nothing to me and I have chalked it up to a very big mistake and don't even think about that guy anymore, but I am being judged by my current boyfriends family members because I was engaged.
The ex-fiance was a complete jerk, used me and then cheated on me with his ex. I never even mourned over this guy he was such a loser. I'd really like to drop the memory of it from my life, and here is my boyfriend telling people about it.
Should I really be so peeved about it? Should I just let him tell them whatever he wants, and deal with their judgements? Or, tell him to stop telling people?
2007-03-20 04:17:26 · 12 answers · asked by ♦ Tiff ♦ 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Have been with him for 3 months. He's 36 years old, so I doubt he's just being childish.
He also could've told them that is what actually got us talking, me being ticked off at this guy.
I know for sure that he doesn't care what his family thinks of me.
2007-03-20 04:37:38 · update #1
First, you can feel however you feel...you can't change that. You are valid in feeling annoyed that he told his parents. Try to understand that his telling them wasn't with malicious intent. He was just probably talking about the person that you are. If they cannot accept the fact that you made a mistake in the past, that's their problem. You can however mention to your boyfriend that it makes you feel uncomfortable that he tells his parents such intimate details about your life and would just prefer him not to tell them because you don't want them to think any less of you...and you can even change it around that the reason you're worried is because you care about him and don't want anything to get in the way of your relationship growing.
2007-03-20 04:22:53 · answer #1 · answered by ljoc421 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long have you been dating this guy? I think he should tell them about you on the basis of how great you are, what type of person you are and why you guys get along so well. The stuff about a previous engagement is really none of his family's business. Plus, like you said you no longer have ties to this person and you no longer talk and there is nothing keeping you attached to him (children), so why does your current boyfriend's family need to even know about him.
God forbid someone in his family makes a mistake and then expects everybody to forget about it. Just remind your boyfriend that your past is exactly that your past and you love him now and you don't want to rehash old and bad memories. If he truly wants a relationship with you he will drop the previous engagement story and be happy that you are his girlfriend now.
2007-03-20 04:33:20 · answer #2 · answered by Important 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down with your boyfriend and discuss with him your concerns. In the future, you need to be very specific if something you tell him is not for publication to anyone else. Best rule of thumb: do not tell him anything you don't want his family or anyone but him to know. If you later marry you might need to alter this but for now he is your boyfriend and you do not know what the future holds. Your past is your past and being engaged is not that big a deal. Had you been married before it might be a bigger deal. Think seriously about your future with this person. Do you want to worry about everything you say or do being reported to his family? Do you want to be part of a family that judges so harshly? This is a small thing, how would they react to a truly big thing that truly does matter?
2007-03-20 04:27:30 · answer #3 · answered by curious74432 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i say just talk to him about it. if it really makes you uncomfortable, tell him and he should understand. he could be putting you in a good light with his family. if you think they think you're not such a good girlfriend or a bad person just because you got engaged to someone that you regret being engaged to in the first place, then talk to the actual family about it. if you really dont care that much, then dont say anything. but it sounds like you do. if i were you, i dont think i'd like that my boyfriend was telling his family my life story when its not exactly something i'm proud of.
2007-03-20 04:24:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You also know that your boyfriend is telling all about you because he is proud of who you are. If he was ever ashamed of your situation, he wouldn't dare tell anyone.
It's because it would also cause his reputation, because you are his girlfriend. I mean, if his girlfriend is bad, it means that his taste is bad.
But he didn't care about such and told everyone, which makes him a proud person of his girlfriend.
If his family judges you, would your boyfriend's love change? If their judgments are harsh, prove them wrong. Prove them that you really deserve this guy and show them who you really are, and what you're really made of.
Plus, feel lucky, you have a man who is man enough to give himself just to you who is worth him. If I were you, I would love him alone and forever...
2007-03-20 04:24:19 · answer #5 · answered by Pseudosophy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to him that in a relationship there must be trust. Although you are fond of the fact he talks about you that there is a time and a place for everything. Your past is your past, if you share it with him thats your business, but it is not his business to share your life story. You need to set some boundaries in your relationship.
2007-03-20 04:23:10 · answer #6 · answered by MJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get over it! Their not judgeing you by this, they have become concerened about him and if he's going to get dumped!
You can ask him to please keep some things to himself, it won't hurt.
But don't feel judged. If you really care, let them know yourself about what the ex did to you. Also show this new guys family how much you care for him.
2007-03-20 04:23:29 · answer #7 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to keep his mouth shut!!! He has no business running around telling everybody he sees your life story. That would really bug me, he is probably blabbing about your sex life too, it doesn't show he cares, it shows he has no respect for your personal life.
2007-03-20 04:23:16 · answer #8 · answered by Stuck in the middle of nowhere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, he broke the trust barrier. I would have a heart to heart with him, and if he does not take it serious, then I would break it off, and find a man, not a boy that has to brag.
2007-03-20 04:21:21 · answer #9 · answered by Common Sense 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to leave the personal stuff out...like about your ex, that's nobodys business.
2007-03-20 04:23:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋