when things are really going your way, we blow it. is it true that sometimes, we just don't want to be happy?

Question

well, it occured to me, every now and then, through people's experience and mine. i was just wondering- i can understand why people whine when things are bad and start saying the "if onlys" but why they keep whining when things are good as in really good?

Answer 1

In my case, yes, because i find life to be a lot easier if there is chaos but we soon realize our mistake when we lose something most important to us because of our chaos. Unfortunately, we dont neccessarily learn from our mistakes, we actually learn from peoples mistakes around us, so i hope that maybe if you go into chaos mode that you have someone around you makin the same mistake so that you may learn from their failure.

Answer 2

No. I believe that we all want to happy. However, our thinking and beliefs, generated by past experiences, become blocks to the longevity of our happiness. No every moment will not be "peaches and cream". Still, the good can out weigh the bad. It becomes a matter of "mirror time", if you will. Take a true and honest look at our lives. Were there times in our lives that chaos was "normal"? If so, we are more comfortable when things are not going well.
This is particularly true with ACOA (Adult Children of Alcoholics). Please, by no means am I saying you are product of such an environment. This is an example.

Again, we all want to happy. It is unfortunate, however, we all don't know how to be happy. We have not had enough modeled behavior and experience, etc. Like having babies, happiness does not come with a book. It is a learned behavior. As babies, we are either happy or sad, by innate factors and interactions of relationships, we are empty diaries waiting for entries. As adults, we are either happy or sad, by innate factors and interactions of relationships, we are diaries with entries. Relationships are not specific to a chosen companion that provides sex. Relationships are specific to parents, siblings, friends, teachers, etc. In addition, some of us are dependent upon others to make us happy because we don't believe happiness can exist without another person. Low self-esteem. Co-dependency. If willing, read up on codependency. It can't hurt. It can expand your knowledge base.

Believe, you are worthy of love and happiness. Try looking inside. It is very possible you will find a terrific person that is full of love and caring. When you do-"Don't worry. Be happy"

Answer 3

Yes , most of the time I am like this . It just pain , suffering , difficulty although make me sad , but they make me think more , learn more and gain more . Let say I am happy , thing going my way , I will feel proud and think I am so good ha ha . But later I will think that it just too perfect for me , it is only my luck and I may not going to have this again next time because I don't know how it will act like that . Thats why at this point I prefer learning from fail .

Answer 4

I think sometimes . .yes, we don't want to be happy. However, when things start going your way you normally think about how other people feel and you tend to let other people get in the way of your happiness so that you aren't happy. For example, lets say you like someone a lot and you finally start dating but then you know someone who likes this person a lot, too. So you aren't truly happy because you know your happiness is putting someone else down.

Answer 5

Wow! Your question really made me think...
I think it is true, we sometimes cause sadness to ourselves. May be it has to do something with the kind of life we have led. If you are used to pain and disappointment you become negative. If things are going well you become anxious as you are not ready for good things to come you way and you want to destroy it. Your sub-conscious pre-programs it to failure.
You have to snap out of it and believe that good things happen too and it can happen to you too. May I ask what made you ask this ques?

Answer 6

Yup, some people just go out of their way to screw up a good thing. A lot of the time, it's just subconscious. They think they don't deserve the good things that are coming their way. It's called a Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: If you believe it enough, it will happen that way.

Answer 7

Sometimes you sabotage yourself. I used to do it all the time. Most of the consequences of your actions are self inflicted. If you feel this is happening consistently maybe its in your best interests to see a therapist. You are on a path to self destruction

Answer 8

no i dont think that we dont wanna be happy but what we wanted after we get it, we figure out that we really didnt want it from the beginning so it jus puts us back at square one.. we always want something different and i know myself make such a fuss about it till i get it then once i get it, it really wasnt what i wanted at all.. i think its something we have to figure for ourself and we are looking for other people to make us happy so we tell them this and this will make us happy when really it has nothing to do with them things but rather us making ourselves happy and not relying on anyone else.

Answer 9

ya, we humans are stupid. A lot of people like the drama and bullshit. It's not that we don't wanna be happy. We want to go thru the challenge to gethappy then start over. Aren't we stupid?

Answer 10

No.
If you really do feel like you don't deserve to be happy, you need counsoling.
Red Cross, Salvation Army and others do it for free.
Don't give up the chance to be happy.