Why is happiness in marriage so fragile and fleeting for so many yet so abundant for others? Why does the resulting train of heartache and suffering have to be so long and have so many innocent people on board? What are the missing enriching ingredients in so many marriages that began with such happiness and so many high hopes??
2007-03-20 03:52:30 · 13 answers · asked by Angie 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Lots of reasons:
1. People go into marriages expecting too much
2. They marrypeople with whom they have little in common.
3. They don't know each over very well
4. They have no idea what marriage really is
5. They have had no practice in negotiationg differences, and end of arguing over nothing
6. They have children before their bond is solid
7. They marry before their education is complete, meaning that theyqualify for poor jobs. Money problems = marriage problems
8. Many women trap men with pregnancy, and wonder why the guy leaves in less than 5 years
yadaydadadayayday
2007-03-20 03:59:18 · answer #1 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been reading a lot of self-help relationship books lately and wondering why people bother! It's like when I watch Super-Nanny and wonder why anybody has kids.
Relationships are very difficult and maybe people stay after they shouldn't. I think in marriage there are deal breakers and many people stay and try to make things work and instead they are just bitter and without direction.
2007-03-20 11:03:29 · answer #2 · answered by Me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a marriage is like a job there are good days and bad.The more work you put into it the more fun it can be and if you stop working and start putting negative to it will slowly fall apart until you quit. for 4 year i did not put much into my marriage and i almost lost my wife but after putting her first in my life again are marriage is stronger then ever. but it dose take two to make a marriage work. Talk, Show love and be good friends .
2007-03-20 11:02:11 · answer #3 · answered by celticdragon 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that it is all in your mind. Tons of people believe marrage is going to be this fairy tale and everything is going to perfect....IT'S NOT. Some people think when reality hits, that they married the wrong person and head off for divorce. A marriage is HARD work, it takes commitment and honesty to make a marriage work. It takes a give and take relationship....but in the end it is worth it.
2007-03-20 11:01:58 · answer #4 · answered by redsoxxgal04 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Angie, it all depends on you. We get the realities we create for ourselves, and what is reality but a perception? Everything is in how we perceive it to be. Are you determined to be a happy person? Are you grateful for the morning sunrise and the lilting song of the birds? My advice to you is to go visit a children's leukemia ward and spend an hour. Read some stories to the children. I promise it will break your heart, but it might do something else as well. It might bring you out of yourself. It might make you grateful. In the end it might change your perception of the world. And that is what you want. Everything is in how we perceive it to be. Good luck to you, sweet Angie. You wouldn't be asking this question if you weren't a decent person. I wish you happiness.
2007-03-20 11:00:09 · answer #5 · answered by John Timothy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once trust is lost in a marriage, it's all downhill from there. I have to be able to trust with my life if necessary. Anything else will not work for me.Lies, deceit, unfaithfulness....all kill marriages. If you want happiness in marriage, abstain from "all appearance of wrongdoing". If not necessarily wrong, does it LOOK wrong? Could it be taken wrong? I had a woman at work to ask me out to lunch once, and I declined. She wanted to know why since there was nothing going to happen. I told her that it "looked wrong". She didn't understand, but I also, didn't go! When married, you have to live clean, above-board lives, to maintain happiness.
2007-03-20 11:03:51 · answer #6 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Anyone who sees a Happy married couple, they work their butts off to get and stay that way. That's your missing ingredient, HARD WORK. Nothing worth doing is easy. All the butterflies and giddy feelings eventually have to settle down and two people have to face real life together, its joys and tradgedies. Ups , Downs. without real commitment and hardwork a relationship just cant stand up to everyday real life.
2007-03-20 10:59:40 · answer #7 · answered by EGOman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is hard work and so many people don't put the time into it.
2007-03-20 10:58:11 · answer #8 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guess they have to be honest and open with each other and give each other space and have trust.
Alot of happy couples leave small notes around stuck on things.
2007-03-20 10:57:47 · answer #9 · answered by sunflare63 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Familiarity breeds Contempt"
This is an expression that explains most marriage
problems....
Once married, people start taking their partner for
granted and get lazy...The no longer treat their spouse
in the same manner as they did when they first began
dating...Marriage takes work, from both parties...
2007-03-20 10:57:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋