What would you do if this were YOUR sibling in this situation? (See Details)?

Question

Last week my ten-years-younger brother (he's 10, I'm 20) who is in the fifth grade was put in time out for an hour because some kid chased him with a freshly sharpened pencil threatening to stab him with it. When the kid caught my brother, he really did try to stab at him but, thankfully, my brother had on a very thick jacket so the pencil never pentrated. My brother retaliated and when the teachers saw this, they put both boys in time out for an hour. My parents and I congratulated my brother for standing up for himself and me and my mother will be having a very strongly worded talk with the teachers (and possibly the principal) about this event.
When asked why my brother was put in time out, the teacher said "he should have come to us instead of reatiliating. We had to punish him too". Do you agree with this? What are some things you would tell the teachers/principal? Do you agree with punishing both parties of a "fight" even though one started it because no one told the teacher?

My brother and I have always been told by our parents that if someone started a fight with us and threw the first punch and we didn't fight back, we would get another butt-whooping when we got home. Which is something I truly agree with.

I asked this in the Education category and only got one answer! That place is SLOW!!!

As for HOW my brother retaliated, he did so the only way he knew how: he punched the kid square in the jaw (I taught him how to hit and for a scrawny ten year old, he can pack a mean punch)! What else was he supposed to do?? He was about to be stabbed with a pencil! He was scared! What would you do if someone was coming after you with a weapon like that?!

Answer 1

I agree with you. As I teacher, that would not be handled like that in my classroom. One of The Rules is about weapons, and a pencil was a weapon in that case. I would always start off each year making it very clear what I expected and the consequences. Zero tolerance of violence. My students always knew that I expected to be contacted if someone tried to hurt them. And that is NOT tattling, although that seems to be the case with many teachers.

This shouldn't have happened in the first place, because obviously it was in a supervised environment. Those teachers should have been doing their jobs.

I would have spent as long as it took, to talk to each boy separately, and then witnesses. Sometimes those "meetings" had to be done in the Principal's office. My principals have always been supportive of helping me to grill students to get the truth. (No corporal punishment.) By the time I had the truth of your brother's situation, the naughty boy would have called his parents on the office phone and told what happened. Then I and/or principal would have talked to the parent about proper punishment. I would have probably written a note to your parents to explain what had happened. Parents do NOT like surprises, and sometimes kids have a hard time explaining.

After an apology to your brother, he would have gone back to his class, and the culprit would have had in-school suspension. At least a day, and longer if a repeat offender. Just keep using your good common sense with your brother, but things are getting bad in so many schools. And it makes me mad. It's important in these days, more than ever before, to stay in close contact with the school and teachers and administration.

Answer 2

Well, I have children and I too tell my kids to defend themselves. The fact that the kid try to stab him with a pencil, that would be considered a weapon. Point that out to the teacher and principal. That kid is suppose to get suspended. I don't agree with your brother having been punished, but when two kids act up, even in self defense, the teachers are told to punish both. This is so that next time any problem arises, your brother will tell the teacher so that she could handle it. I know it s*cks but, they're trying to teach the kids that violence is not the way to deal with things. That's a good lesson I must admit.

Answer 3

Being a Teacher myself I would've put the kid with the pencil on a time out and told your brother that he should've come to me for help but not put him on time out, since he was the one that was being pursued and did what he had to to protect himself, basically, his was in instinctive reaction, which shouldn't be punished.

Once both kids are calm I would sit them together and ask the kid with the pencil to apologize to your brother and your brother to say he was sorry too, only to let the other one know there are no hard feelings anymore.

As for what to tell the Teacher or the Principal, I would say that they should look into why the other kid is being aggressive and if they already know he is in some kind of trouble then he should be sent to counseling; as for your brother I would KINDLY ask the Teacher to explain to him why he too was put in time out, so that he understands why he was being "punished" for protecting himself, cause quite frankly I don't think that the Principal or the Teacher will say they are sorry.

Remember that when speaking to Teachers or the Principal you shouldn't be angry or threatening...speak calmly to get your point across and make them truly understand what you mean rather than fight them. Your brother will continue going to that school, and you don't want his Teacher to have a bad impression of you; trust me, that is never good.

Answer 4

I had a similar situation with my son...some kids on the bus were teasing him and they pulled some books out of his bookbag and actually threw one out the window. I was highly pissed off since he was sitting right behind the bus driver and he did NOTHING. I went to the school and do you know the asst. principal had the nerve to tell me that "Your son shouldn't have his book bag open so that things like this wouldn't happen." WTF!!! I was outraged. I asked him if I left my purse wide open with money sticking it out would it give anybody the right to come by and take the money out without my permission?? I think not. The way they deal with "bad" kids in school is a joke. The good kids get punished or are too afraid to tell the teacher. Nobody wants to be known as a snitch....and the consequences of being one are usually far worse than not saying anything. I don't think both parties should be punished but that's how it happens and until adults learn to be adults instead of letting the bully kids run the schools this is how it will continue to be.

Answer 5

Things like that used to happen to me all the time in Elementary school...It's really hard to swallow your pride and get the teachers invovled, rather than handle things yourself, but thats what today's education system has come to. Gone are the days where if students had differences they were encouraged to settle them after school. Normally if you dont throw the first punch, you are allowed to defend yourself, and not get in trouble. The teachers should not have kept your brother..but then again, teachers do not have eyes all around their heads, and it's hard to discipline fairly and justly when you do not have reliable eye witnesses, or if the teacher in charge didn't actually witness the event. In these cases it becomes kind of like a "He said - She said" ordeal, and in the end its just better to give both boys a small safe detention..If the teacher actually saw this event happening, your brother would have had a better chance of getting out of getting the detention... He did the right thing, he just got caught in the wrong circumstances. Hope that helps.

Answer 6

I absolutely do not agree with that. I would go to the Principal first and then have them bring the teacher in, to talk with you and the principal. I would do it as soon as you can get in there. I would also want to have the principal to call the other child's parents and let them know about the whole situation so that it doesn't come as a surprise to them . I would also demand that the principal tell that child's parents that the next time anything of that nature occurs that the child will be suspended. You can't expect a child to not do anything when they have been attacked by another child.

Answer 7

What exactly did the teachers expect him to do, run all the way to them whilst being chased by the other kid? Sometimes there aren't enough teachers around to deal with everything, and if you're little brother was being threatened, h had every right to take the action that he did. The staff were wrong to give him the punishment, although if it was a case of his word against the other kid's then I can sort of understand why.

Answer 8

There's a change among utilizing ample drive to guard your self after which following it up with retaliatory drive. If your brother most effective used ample drive to push the child off him and break out then you might have an drawback with the college and the lecturers. However, in case your brother driven the child off after which threw a few punches and/or kicked him they each deserved what they acquired. Since you are saying your loved ones taught you to battle again otherwise you'd get in predicament at dwelling, I'm inclined to guess some thing just like the moment situation is much more likely what occurred. Now if that is your condominium rule, whilst I do not agree, I could guess he isn't in predicament at dwelling. But that rule does not paintings in faculties hence: now the child with the pencil has been harm and will have to battle again. If faculties enable him to have this rule the next day he will have a knife and tomorrow your brother will convey a gun. Basically, the variety of escalation this rule could enable could ultimately harm no longer most effective the 2 children combating however others round them. Talk to the lecturers and the primary to ensure they understand to observe this child seeing that it feels like a longstanding feud however do not count on them to ask for forgiveness for handing out in college punishments whilst each boys broke the college's regulations.

Answer 9

This keeps happening to my youngest nephew in his class. The other day they were watching a movie and he asked a girl to move over because he couldn't see so she hit him. My nephew hit her back. Then the girl's brother told my nephew that he was going to bring a gun to school and shoot him. Next, a boy who is in an older grade who had nothing to do with it hit my nephew. No one got into trouble except my nephew. The administrators at that school always pick on him and never discipline other kids who are involved in the situations. And just in case anyone is on here who is reading this from Jacksonville, Florida, the school is R.L. Brown Elementary which is a sorry, sorry school to have a Gifted Program. These are kids, they don't think to go tell a teacher when someone hits them, they just react first and tell later. Adults do the same also, that's why the crime rate skyrockets in certain areas.

Answer 10

No, I don't think it's right a child to be punished when s/he is trying to protect his/herself. But, that's just one example of the twisted logic of the education system.
Of course, they say it's because fighting, no matter the reason, is wrong. But, for the school, it's simply easier to punish both than to try to figure out the actual issue.
Education is so very important, and it's a shame that the majority of educators don't work to promote a positive image. My son is in all of the honors classes at his school, but the teachers don't work to truly interact with students. Most talk AT the children, not WITH the children. They have forgotten what it is like to be a child.