i wondered do they sign a petiton under oath or doesnt it matter these days. can they think of anything even though she left a family home it is me who will end up paying and i am to old to get a mortgage.they are both out of work .he was bankrupt,so it seems they are pushing me for a divorce so i will have to sell our house to pay her off.they are moving to spain on the 27th march to rent a place .she text me saying she was going because our son &daughter who both are still at home want nothing to do with her.we have not seen or spoke to her since she left ,not even to try and sort things out.so because of her deceit ,lies and betrayal from two people i thought icould trust iam the one who has got to pick up all the pieces and get our lives together and pay because she packed in her job and moved away to live with him and claiming legal aid.so why should i we suffer when it was them who have torn our lives apart.there should be a law against what they have done for thier betrayal.
2007-03-20 02:49:49 · 26 answers · asked by lostinspace 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you need to get yourself a GREAT divorce lawyer to ensure that she does not get ANYTHING. Since the kids live with you, you will have more rights than her. Fight her a ss, don't give in.
2007-03-20 02:54:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a terrible situation and you have my sympathies. I've been cheated on before and it was bad enough when we were only dating--I can only imagine how much worse it must be after 25 years when there's children and a marriage involved.
The bitter truth of the matter is I know nothing about this situation, and the possibility exists that you were perhaps abusive or in some way drove her to this point. Perhaps that's the case, perhaps you truly are the victim here--I'll never know. What I can suggest is that you get a good divorce lawyer on your side who can fight for your side, because odds are that's what your wife is going to do. You don't want to be at any more of a disadvantage than you already are.
I would suggest that you attempt to get into contact with her and try to remain civil on this whole matter, without dragging the supreme ugliness of the courts into the mess unless absolutely necessary. Remember that there are children involved, and you don't want them to become collateral damage.
2007-03-20 02:56:31 · answer #2 · answered by P.I. Joe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I couldnt imagine a judge making you sell the house seeing as though you still have your children. They have to have a stable place to live and that is what is consered most in any divorce case.....get a good lawyer like the first answerer said, but I think you have a better than good case to keep the house. Im sorry this has happened to you, but she has made her choice and as hard as it is going to be, you have to move on. You would be filled with bitterness and anger at being betrayed by your wife and your so called "friend". Your wife will find out soon enough that she has made a mistake....leaving your spouse is one thing....leaving your children is a total other......she will end up a very lonely woman in the long run.
All you can do is pick yourself up, brush yourself off, do your grieving, then get out there and rejoin life again.
Take care and try very hard not to be bitter around your kids. They may not want anything to do with their mother right now, but with time, emotions change.....yours will too, so they may want to have something to do with their mother...they are hurt, but they still love her....just keep that in mind.
2007-03-20 03:01:54 · answer #3 · answered by rightio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the laws were only fair!!!!!!!!If you want out of a marriage . Okay. then walk away with the clothes on your back . You are left with the kids to raise. I know I been there my ex walked out for my youngest sister. In the US there is no penalty for cheating. I proofed adultry and it means nothing. My kids sitll love there dad and did not want to believe what he was doing so they were angry at me for a while till they final see what I was saying was true. It hurts to know one of your parents is a bum and a jerk. Hope you do not loose everything. Get a good lawyer and ask her for support. Maybe that way you can keep your house instead of her paying support for the children. Good luck and God Bless. Until the laws change and give the cheaters nothing when they leave . The good people will suffer. But the judges and the lawyers are even bigger cheaters and liars. So what hope do we have.
2007-03-20 02:59:03 · answer #4 · answered by springer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
only thing I can suggest is get yourself a really good lawyer..... don't do it out of spite of her....I have been through a divorce and they are messy at best.....do it to protect yourself and your children's home. It might be useful to get some counseling for yourself. Divorce is a loss....sometimes grief counseling can help.....it is normal to feel all the emotions you are feeling......just don't let them run the divorce for you. What she did was absolutely awful and you're right you should not have to suffer and pick up the pieces......but sometimes in life it's the decent people who do the right thing that have to hold things together....... but holding it together and picking up the pieces doesn't mean you have to pretend that you're doing OK......she betrayed 25 years of marriage.....maybe a divorce support group would be good for you.....they are not a place to look to date other divorced people......but one where you can heal from the pain of lies.....betrayal.....and the loss.....I don't know what area you live in but sometimes local churches offer these kinds of support groups
2007-03-20 03:10:04 · answer #5 · answered by Mum3grls 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to see a divorce solicitor, and quickly. It is very unfair that she can move away, join her assets with another person and yet claim half of yours and probably half your pension too. The law really should be changed to reflect 'unfair' conduct. You are not too old to get another mortgage, don't worry about that, and it is possible that she could claim exactly 50% of the house value and of your pension pot; however, I woulnd't make anything easier for her. If she's claiming half of the assets, then she should be paying half of the costs, council tax, water, repairs, etc. Keep a list of everything that you have to pay for and if she pursues you for half of the house then ask her for half of the upkeep of it - worth a try.
But get yourself a specialist solicitor and don't give up without a fight. The law should really be changed to reflect this sort of thing.
I wish you luck - be strong and fight this and don't let her fleece you.
2007-03-20 02:57:50 · answer #6 · answered by gorgeousfluffpot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get all wound up yet. If she left the home, committed anything adultery while in the marriage, the courts have changed drastically when it comes to this. If there moving to Spain, then they aren't that bad off and you should be able to contest any court decisions with the truth and paperwork.
There is a law called adultery. Works both ways, and if its over then you wont have any problems braining this up in court or to her to tell her to take a hick and don't look back.
2007-03-20 03:15:37 · answer #7 · answered by steinerrw 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a FAMILY LAW attorney. Make HER pay child support. Make her pay alimony as well. Document ALL the happenings, dates, times etc of her betrayal and continuing betrayal to you and those kids. She will get hers in the end of all of this and it won't be good. Make sure she signs off on all property while you can. Do it before she leaves to Germany. Sounds like a real loser she is. Sorry that happened to you guys. Take care.
2007-03-20 03:15:24 · answer #8 · answered by MOM OF ONE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you still have 2 minor kids at home, sometimes the judge will rule that you don't have to sell the house until their both 18. Since you have the kids she must pay child support! Make sure you have a great lawyer!
2007-03-20 02:55:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm with you matey..!
Why should you and the kids suffer because of her actions.
I wouldn't divorce her. Not yet anyways. Let her stew.
Why sell the house to pay her off? You and the kids need it.
She walked out on you. She shouldn't be getting a thing. If you'd have walked, d'ya think you'd have got anything?
I'm trusting everything comes out in your favour.
2007-03-20 02:58:03 · answer #10 · answered by Moorglademover 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for your situation. Right now it may feel that you are paying for what she did, but in the future it will be her that will regret her decisions. I can't imagine a mother not having contact with her children. I'd contact a good divorce attorney and fight to keep the house since you have the kids. Good luck.
2007-03-20 02:55:06 · answer #11 · answered by 2Beagles 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋