Ok so I know that as you get older you and your friends start going your own ways, life takes you onto different paths... but how do you get your friends to understand that you are feeling left behind? I have alot going on in my life right now that I know not everyone understands (Mom is really sick and I have to help take care of her) and as friends they always say... IF YOU NEED ANYTHING JUST CALL... but then when I do call just to talk and vent they don't want to hear all the bad stuff going on or they are too busy to listen because they have things in their lives too... I have major things going on in my life and I feel alone? I think I'm getting depressed becasue I don't care about me, I don't care about anything right now, I feel that the only thing I can do is stop talking to my friends... really I feel like I should just stop talking to eveyone one and hide in my room... What do I do?
2007-03-20 02:35:22 · 11 answers · asked by A Friend 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Just to let you k now my mom is young in her 50's and I'm an only child... so everything lands on me... there is no one else to help in her care... I have to be there at night and the weekends so that my father can work.
2007-03-20 02:53:01 · update #1
sweety that what i call fair weather friends,, they their for you when thing are good an gone when thing get bad,,,,,i cant give you any thing more than a friend,, now if you just want some one to talk to, an some one to listion,, i be glad to help,,,,but i married, an it can only be friend,, i hate to see any one down,,, but i know what you saying,, i got a lot of fair weather friends,, hugs god bless
2007-03-20 02:42:56 · answer #1 · answered by ghostwalker077 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry to hear about your mother, and good for you that you can take help take care of her! The first major lesson you are learning already is, people say things they don't always mean. Just like, "call if you need anything" in this case, they're trying to be nice. Don't fall into the rut of not talking to anyone, that will make you feel even more isolated. You can still talk to them, but just keep things light. In junior high; my friends going their own seperate ways. I didn't try to follow them or what have you. People change and do different things, and that's ok. You're learning two big lessons right now and probably and the worst time but things will turn out alright, even if it's not with the friends you have now =) Best wishes!
2007-03-20 02:43:40 · answer #2 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe my experience might give you some insight. There was one friend I had that I told her to call me if she needed anything. Eventually she would call a few times a day and she only called to complain and cry about how miserable she was. She would not do anything to change her situation.
She also had this problem that if she wanted to go out, she would want ME to pay her way and provide transportation all the time. All of her energy went to me and my best friend. After a while, (4 years) I got sick of it and started to tell her I was unavailable to talk. When I was available, I would limit the call because she would only complain.
So later on I sent her a letter stating that I was not accepting her calls or returning any calls from her. I explained to her how I felt. She would try to manipulate me and try to have me feel sorry for her. She would NEVER ask how I was doing and what I was up to. It was always about her and her problems.
Now, I'm not saying you are doing any of this. I would encourage you to invite your friends over, invite them to go out somewhere for an afternoon. Call just to say hi and see how THEY are doing.
Sometimes we do out grow our friends. Sometimes we do need to find new activities and get involved in other groups to create new friends. Keep yourself busy and involved in other interests and hobbies.
2007-03-20 02:45:29 · answer #3 · answered by Erica, AKA Stretch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek professional medical assistance. sounds like depression.
Also, if you call your friends to vent , then the friendship thus becomes all about venting and negativity. Nobody needs that.
You got problems, sure so does the rest of the world. Try to focus on What is good in your life, what are you happy about. what good luck has come your way, and reflect a positive problem solving attitude, not oh woe is me, why me? that's all crap, don't go there.
You are breathing, you are lucky. There are people with cancer, all kinds of stuff.
Plus, go see a counselor or church person if you go to church, or a doctor, to talk to about your depression.
Good luck.
2007-03-20 02:43:49 · answer #4 · answered by A Military Veteran 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes, most people are to concerned about their own lives.
my best friend has parents that are going through the same things my parents went through..so when i tell him about what we did or did not do to handle their situation...he does not seem interested...and both of my parents died in 1995 so our family had to make a lot of decisions and i was just trying to tell him that his parents should be tested for AD and Dementia as there is treatment for them ..but his parents are 78 or so and it seems he is offended that i would suggest that maybe its time for some treatment and maybe think about a nursing home as his brother (only brother) does not want him taking care of his parents...all this stuff i went through with my family.. we had five of us kids and three of us were always fighting with the other two or vice versa..but things get real mean when you try to take care of your parents..but just try to understand that people mean well when they say "just call me" but few ever really mean this... I have nieces and nephews that if i would visit them...they always have something more important to do ..even if i call ahead..i guess i too am not that important in their lives...how sad...
2007-03-20 02:46:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Friends are overrated, for the most part people only think about themselves. You need to find a way to make yourself happy with out anyone else, and find out which of your friends really cares about you listens to your problems and gives you advice. As far as all your other friends, take it how it is.
2007-03-20 02:43:12 · answer #6 · answered by Looking for the REAL answer! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take some "me" time. treat yourself to a little something or other. Caring for a loved one can be very lonely and tends to lower one's self-esteem at times. Be just a little selfish and have just a little fun, even if it is just taking in a movie or a fast food treat. Some of your friends may actually be trying to help by giving you space. Don't give up on your friends and, more importantly, do not give up on yourself.
2007-03-20 02:41:26 · answer #7 · answered by fangtaiyang 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Think about it for a moment, if a friend of yours called you, would you really want to hear them go on and on about everything bad going on in their lives? Of course not.
This doesn't mean you don't have some valid needs in venting. I know what you're going through (I took care of my 88 year old mother for about a year.)
Have you ever considered a nursing home?
2007-03-20 02:42:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you need all the help you can get. Tell your friends that you need help bad and that you are calling on them now. See if they really meant what they said about calling if you need them. If this fails you need to get professional help as soon as possible.
2007-03-20 02:47:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that your friends are not more thoughtful. I know that I would handle it so much differently if I were your friend. Have you tried just telling your friends " I really need you right now".
2007-03-20 02:42:17 · answer #10 · answered by Jacqueline M 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋