is just so much stuff problems with his familly he never defended me and he let them hurt me, he left me alone when i most needed him when my daughter was born i was all alone. I just can't stop noticing other people when they wife gives birth at least they spent a week with them he didn't stay with me not even one day. I spent all my pregnancy mostly alone. It hurt me so much so much things i dont why i keep it inside i forgive him but i can seems to forgive some things are recent but others like 2 to 3 years before and its still hurt. I love him and i dont want this to hurt my relationship. How can i work this out?
2007-03-20 01:51:06 · 8 answers · asked by user 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Since you don't want to hurt the relationship the next best thing you can do is to change your attitude.
2007-03-20 01:55:03 · answer #1 · answered by SGElite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't know where you are hurting. If you just keep quite, he will never know. Best thing to do is tell him what hurts you. It seems like your man is like a child. You have to tell him every single thing at all time. That can be exhausting, however, if you are willing to babysit him for the rest of your life than that is the only way to go. He wasn't there for you when you were pregnant and when you were giving birth to your child...hum...that's not something that you can teach. It should be natural. You cannot force him to be there for you, he needs to be willingly be there for you without any force. It really sucks to hear your story and I feel really bad for you. And on top of this, your man does not defend you from your family...danmmmmmmm....game over. I would get out of this relationship as fast as a race car. Talk to him first and if that don't help, get out while you can. Good luck
2007-03-20 09:07:30 · answer #2 · answered by Victoria78 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know the hurt, my ex took me and dropped my off to have our first daughter and his mother had to call and wake him up to see if I had delivered yet. With the second daughter he dropped me off and did not stay and did not even pick me up to take me home from the hospital. He would not have been there for the third daughter if his battery had not went dead in the parking lot and the guard went by and woke him up in the parking lot. I had to go back to work when my second daughter was 8 days old because he lost his job for stealing. I tried for years to hold everything together. I believed until death do you part. Between the affairs and not working and him not caring after 37 years I called it quits. Don't take so long they will no change. The little things turn into big things. When you feel like know one cares, it eats at your soul. Tell him how you feel and if he doesn't change you will have to learn to live with a none caring person or move on. Just don't be surprised if it does not change.
2007-03-20 09:22:33 · answer #3 · answered by springer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pour it all out. Tell your man everything that is hurting you right now. He is your husband, he has a right to know. Talk to him openly and expect the best. Not a single marital problem be solved by just being quiet. Keep it all to yourself will only harm you both physically and emotionally. Let your husband know the problem. If he cares enough, he'll try to be better.
2007-03-20 09:00:17 · answer #4 · answered by Master M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This doesn't sound like a relationship I'd like to be in. You have two choices...stay or leave. Either way someone is going to get hurt, regardless. Who much pain do you want to endure on top of what your already doing.
2007-03-20 09:13:01 · answer #5 · answered by steinerrw 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are THAT miserable, then leave him. period. and get counseling for yourself. do you want to live the rest of your life this way? always being hurt because your husband will not grow a spine and stand up for you against his family? obviously his priorities are his family, then you. is that how you want to live? always second to him and his other family? then you need to find a way to put yourself first. get counseling, then start to put yourself first. i undestand that you have a child now, but that is still no excuse for you to be sitting there hurting when you could be doing something about it. so....what are you waiting for? get up, get out, live your life for you.
2007-03-20 09:15:20 · answer #6 · answered by cfalways 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would get rid of the fool. if a man didnt defend my from hurt, expecially from his family, he dont mean nothing to me. stop trying to pretend it will work. it wont. you need to learn how to like yourself enough to be alone. stop letting him walk all over you.
2007-03-20 08:56:11 · answer #7 · answered by zsaffireblue2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why do you still love him?? think about that?
2007-03-20 08:58:16 · answer #8 · answered by Jennie S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋