with him, he is sligtly younger that me an is 20. We are both very much in love and we have often talked about the future together. He often says things to me like I am going to be with you forever, I want it to be true. I really believe that he is the person for me. I have dated many guys but something about him feels right. I know that we have only been together for 9 months but I don;t want anyone else.The other day we were joking and the subject of marraige came up. I joked with him i am not going to ask you to marry me or anying thing- and he said ohhhhhhhhhhh and pulled a sad face. I want that though more than anything. I really want to tell him how I really feel, but i am scared as to how he will react because he is only young. What shall I do- please help
2007-03-20 01:50:42 · 22 answers · asked by Pixie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I agree with other posters that 20 or even 22 is kinda young to settle down. Stranger things have happened but why not just enjoy this euphoria without the pressure. Enjoy this time for a few years before being so quick to set sail into the future being married. Marriage tends to change things irreparably for those who don't prepare for it effectively.
2007-03-20 01:58:15 · answer #1 · answered by Devdude 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been with my boyfriend for 7 years and I feel exactly the same as you. We both do. I knew it was right from the start and I know I want to marry him and spend the rest of my life with him. We live together and have a mortgage. However, we're both 22 and we don't feel we're ready for marriage yet. There's a lot we both want to do and experience before settling down. However, it will happen eventually. Maybe late 20 or 30. If you've found some one you want to be with then that's great but you can still be together without being married. Don't rush things. You have your whole lives to get married. what difference would it make to your lives if you got married sooner rather than later? Enjoy yourselves and have fun!
2007-03-20 03:05:35 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you both should remain together but wait just a little longer before you go to that level. I don't believe that love has a time limit, but I do believe that you really should think things through before you begin to make that kind of comittment. I got married at 23 years old after being with the man for 3 years. I knew I he was itwhen I was 21, only a year after meeting him but I waited to get my life in order financially etc. So, again, wait a bit and think about all of the things that are invovled in marriage other than the "love" part. You love each other!! But, what about your jobs, where will you live, what are your ideas on kids, how does your family feel about him? All of those things are important too. Maybe become enaged to him to soldify the committment, and then wait a year to get things organized! :) I hope this helps! Congrats on finding Mr. Right!
2007-03-20 01:56:27 · answer #3 · answered by *~Cam's Mommy ~* 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it Pixie, I got married at 21 [had been with him for 4 years] had kids etc.
I love my children more than anything, BUT I really wished I had waited, as now I find myself hitting 40 this year and regret that I settled for the comfortable option.
My ex husband was a abusive control freak, and totally restricted me from attaining my own goals. I'm not saying your b/f will act in a similar way BUT marriage is a very serious commitment and despite what they say divorce is not as easy as it is portrayed, especially when children are involved.
My advice is simply to tell him that you love him very much and hope that you will remain together forever BUT your not ready for marriage YET.
GOOD LUCK
2007-03-20 01:59:42 · answer #4 · answered by Lizzo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know him better than any of us, so who are we to tell you he is too young. But tread carefully and keep talking to each other all the time about how you're feeling. He may be very sincere and you should obviously try to develop the relationship as much as you can, for as long as you can. That may be for another year, another 5 years, 20 years or life. Who knows?
But don't allow insecurities to come between you and what looks like a beautiful relationship. They can and will mess things up if you allow them to get the better of you.
2007-03-20 02:04:10 · answer #5 · answered by Stealthbong 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would advise be honest. if your sitting there and you suddenly look at him and think how much you love him, tell him you love him. if you miss him when he's away, send him a text saying your looking forward to seeing him cos your missin him. see how he responds. if he replied in similar fashion, then it sounds like you really have met your match.
love isnt bounded by age - you can never be too young or too old for love.
however, also remeber to take things a day at a time. i understand how much you love him and want to be with him, but perhaps try not to make too many plans in your head because however wonderful he is, he shallnt be able to live up to them all
9 months is lnog enough to know how you feel and if you love him, dont let other people tell you you cant, your too young, hes too young, its too early etc. its your heart - beleive in it and be honest with this guy about how you feel and im sure he will return your affections
good luck
2007-03-20 01:58:09 · answer #6 · answered by hazei_2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps after you said "I am not going to ask you to marry me or anything", you could have added "because I would like you to ask one day when you are ready".
Even if someone is young in physical age, sometimes they are mentally mature. The fact that he seemed sad after you comment of not going to ask him to marry, is in the right direction.
How did the subject of marriage come up last time? If he brought it up, it shows he is not afraid of the subject, which is a good sign.
I hope everything goes well for you two. Good luck!
2007-03-20 01:57:36 · answer #7 · answered by Lilliana 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first rule in every relationship should be to (be honest) if you aren't honest with each other then your relationship will be built on a lie. Better to tell him how you feel now than wait untill you are involved even more deeply. If it scares him away then he wasn't commited to the relationship to start with. Sit down and share your feelings and don't keep secrets from one another If the relationship withstands the discussion the you have a good foundation to build a better relationship on.
2007-03-24 01:36:59 · answer #8 · answered by dogcatcher 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't feel that you can tell him how you really feel and talk with him honestly about this then how can you say this is the 'right person for you'.
You're worried about what he would think, if you knew him that well (which takes longer than 9 months) then you'd know you can say whetever you feel and not feel silly.
Honestly, if you can't talk openly about feelings with each other then things are not that serious between you.
2007-03-20 03:14:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well girl i feel the same and im 28 !!
i understand how you feel and even though its only 9months i believe you know that they are the one .. age dont matter and also i would like to say dont get too carried away with the marriage thing as men can get scared !! annoying!! as long as you have each other thats the main thing !! marriage will alwa\ys be there !! do you live together /? you can drop hints saying aww can you imagine us married one day !! so he knows !! if its true love it will happen !! xx
2007-03-20 01:58:41 · answer #10 · answered by clare w 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋