help but please dont judge?

Question

a year and a half ago i done sonethin really stupid and had sex with my best mates fiance and she found out and forgave me,any ways her fiance is now trying to blackmail me into sleeping with him again iv told him in no uncertain terms to get to hell but he is saying unless i sleep with him he is gonna tel my mate that i have been sleeping with him anyway im not stupid enough to do it again i just want him to leave me alone especially as my friend is pregnant with their second child please help dont judge me

Answer 1

hi sweetheart,

i think you are gonna get judged on here by a few people but ignore them!!

I think you should try and talk to your mate about it maybe tell her what his saying or maybe be devious and record him when you 2 are alone???

You can get little recorders that you can easily put in your pocket i know it means buying one but if it means saving a friendship then i would!!!!

I know its devious but its the only way your mate is going to believe you because of whats hapened in the past

Answer 2

Hey, I'm sure we all do things we're not proud off, so no judging from me. You do right to tell him where to go, your best mate deserves better than him. I doubt he would go ahead and tell his fiancee that you have been sleeping with him because that would mean that he has admitted cheating on her (even though the hasn't) and most men (not saying all) would not want their other half to find out, let alone admit it if that was actually the case. I think you should call his bluff, but before you do, I think some of the suggestions already made about recording a conversation would be a good idea. I do think your friend needs to know that he's been blackmailing you and It may result in losing friendship, but may not. Good luck.

Answer 3

The only way to continue to rebuild your relationship with you friend is to be honest with her. You need to tell her what has been going on before he makes the first move. Given the previous situation and the fact that she's pregnant with his child, if she hears this coming from him - more than likely she will believe him. You need to tell her what he's been saying and ask her what she would like you to do. If she says stay away for awhile. As hard as that may be, you need to honor her request, because it may be for the best in the long run. She may not believe you, and that's always a risk you take when discussing something like this, but risks or not - she deserves to know the truth. If you have anymore mutual friends, maybe nonchalantly ask them if he'd ever said anything out of line to them. Maybe you're not the only one he's doing this to. Best of luck!

Answer 4

Your friend has forgave you so you can forgive yourself too. No body should judge you as all people do things they regret.
If I were in your position I would tell this pest that if he continues to harass you you will inform the police. Your friend deserves to know what kind of creep she is engaged to. I really hope you get this guy off your back as I feel empathy for you , being blackmailed is a living nightmare. good luck .

Answer 5

This is going to be hard, But you are going to have to tell your freind what has been going on and hope like hell she belives you and not this things she is with. This is a horrible situation to be in and I dont envy you, especially with your freind being pregnant. My suggestion would be tell her staight you will hurt he for sure in the short run, but in the long term you are saving her for this jerk. If he has and still is trying it with you he will find somewhere else to go. And trying to blackmail you into sex, well thats just low. Your freind is so much better off with out this loser draging her down.

Answer 6

Firstly no one has the right to judge you. Only we are present in that moment in time, and we make choices ( some wrong for us) in those moments, taking into account all the factors which surround us. Situations, Emotions, environment etc etc . I agree with the poster above who suggests recording the conversations he has with you. Make a copy and give him one. Tell him that if he ever approaches you again you will be the one informing your friend, and possibly the police. Hopefully your friend will come to her own realisation in the future of what a loser her partner is and opts to find the courage to get rid of him.

Answer 7

Talk about a no win situation, huh. I would guess that he is bluffing about telling her that he nailed you again, unless he plans on breaking up with her and wants to break up your friendship as a parting shot. Otherwise, what does he gain? If he did tell her he is just shooting himself in the balls, right?
The levels men will stoop to to get laid are pretty amazing aren't they? You friend has a real prize there.
As to telling her: that is a tough one. Your friend may resent you for telling her, even with evidence. She may think your telling her this to break them up so you can have her hunky man. After all, you already sampled the goods. So your going to have to decide, can she handle the truth and is it a friendship without total honesty?
Good luck kid.

Answer 8

Are you ever between a rock and a hard place. He is counting on you not saying
anything to your friend. I know that you said she is pregnant, but she needs to
know that he is up to no good. Be honest, even if it hurts. You need to decide
if your friend is more important than the jerk who is trying to blackmail you. Don't
let him back you into a corner. Is there someone you can go to for help? I feel
really sorry for you.

Answer 9

Tell your friend first what a scum bag her fiance is and that he is trying to black mail you into sleeping with him again, he just wants sex while his finance is fat and pregnant (lowest kind of man, it makes me ashamed to be a man sometimes).

I know you do not want to split up your friends relationship, but if he is trying to have sex with you, he might be doing this with other people to, so your friend has a right to know what is going on.

Good luck in what ever you decide.

Answer 10

Tell your friend the truth - it's going to hurt her that that is what her fiance is saying but at least you can say you side of the story and tell her what he is saying ISN'T TRUE and that you would not do that to her. You need to reassure her as it's your word against his and you need to be careful and consider her condition. I would also try to get him there while you're saying this - get it out in the open and shame him! Good luck.